Chloe

[chasha33]

I had planned on her before her biological mother was even pregnant with her.When she was born we drove over an hour just to see our new precious little girl whe she was 3 days old and then we went to see her when she was one week old.I had to take pictures of her and keep her baby book done up just like any new mommy would do.When she was 4 weeks old me and her daddy,brother,and nana went to go get her and bring her home.She had her own room,But would sleep with me and her daddy.Every couple of hours she would take her bottle and would even go wait next to the microwave for me to heat it up.Me and her daddy would take turns through the night getting up to feed her.As she grew up ,I would get so offended if someone would call her a dog.She was our daughter with lots of hair.She was the most beautiful Pekingese her ways made her so human like.We had her so spoiled we use to tell her to sing and practice cause one day she was going to try out for American idol...Lol.She loved everyone she met and everyone who knew her loved her as well.I would take her and her brother every 4-5 months and get there nails done.I took them that day and kissed them both and told them that mommy would be back in an hour to get them.I had to run a few errands.I even called up there and told them not to use as much med on them that day.Then an hour after i had left i got a call,I didnt anwer it,But i called back within a few minutes.My very good friend couldnt even speak all she managed to say was my name .I knew right away i fell to the ground and started screaming no.I didnt even have to ask which one i could tell by her voice.I was in shock and people started trying to calm me down.I finally got up and took off running to my car.My son called his daddy and we took off to the vet .We worked on her for an hour and 45 mins.I wouldnt let them stop.My momma came and tried to calm me down.My vet was crying  and everyone else there was crying to.I kept begging my husband and momma to fix her .It was like i was a little girl again and i expected my momma to make everything alright.No one knew what happened.Me and my vet are really good friends and he tried everything he could for her.It has been 8 months since i lost her and the hurt continues to grow everyday.I miss my little girl so much.Everynight when everyone goes to bed i cry for her or i cry for me not having her.She went everywhere with me and when i was happy or sad she was the same way.I know i was blessed to have had her in my life and been able to have loved her,But i just miss my baby.I still blame myself  for losing her and i still go through all the What if's.But i will always keep her memory alive and that i will always have.I think of her as a butterfly .I watched her grow through the years and then one day just like a butterfly she grew her wings and flew away.

                Mommy loves you,
                        "Coco"                                                                
                    4-1-02 -- 7-31-09

[chasha33]

I have do have other furbabies and i love them all dearly.But Chloe needed me as much as i did her.When she was born it was as if i had just given birth to her myself...I know that sounds crazy.But just like any proud parents would do we had planned everything out.My husband carried her around just like any proud daddy would do.It didnt matter that she was a little girl and not a manly looking baby.He was proud of her and loved showing her off.When he ate at night he would share his food with her and she loved all the attention.It is so hard when i go to my vets office.It all comes back to me and i break down and then they get upset to.My vet is a really good friend of mine and he sill tears up when we talk about her.I know Chloe wouldnt want me to hurt like this,But i cry for me and my loss.I feel so empty and alone when everyone goes to bed at night and she is not by my side.Sometimes i can still feel her with me.Its like she is trying to tell me that she will always be with me.I know that i was blessed to have gotten to have had her in my life and loved her than to have never been able to have had her at all.She gave me a lifetime of love and memories and i am Thankful for that.Thankyou both for being so sweet and kind to me.It means alot to me.God Bless Both of You.Chan

[crzywt4it]

Oh Chasha, my heart goes out to you as well. I am sorry for yr loss. I hope you can find another pet to love again. You dont have to let her go, you still have yr memories. Like I told Judy It always helped me to get another pet that needed a home. It will take some time Im sure, I did me to but I just couldnt live without a animal in my house, It was to lonely even with the house full. Your in my prayers sweety.
Nadine

[Judy246]

When I took Toby to our vet hospital, he was fine and I was told he would be fine, so I left for work (1 hr. away) and that's when I got that phone call that we all dread that he was in full cardiac arrest. At the very moment he has the heart attack, I felt a panic attack and got up and walk right out of work to the vet hospital, but when I got there, he had pass and on top of that the office closed. As yourself, I will never truly understand what happened in there.

Chan, it will take time to heal such a loss and I will keep you all in my prayers. Judy

[chasha33]

Thankyou so much for the kind words.When i went to the vet the day after i lost her.I asked to see the med that she was given and i also checked the dosage that was given and it did match with the amount gone out of the bottle.They think that she had  had a heartattack in the past and somehow her heart was weak.But she was in perfect health.I still dont understand and i need to know what happened.I miss her so much and i dont think that time will ever help with the hurt i feel.She was such a blessing to all of our lives and we now all feel so lost without her.I knwo she wouldt want to see me like this,But i just cant let her go.Please keep us in your prayers and thankyou for giving us a place to ome and talk .God Bless You.Chan

[Judy246]

I read your post it brought a tear to my eyes. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl Coco. I just loved the photo of her, she was beautiful! How beautiful that you welcomed her to your heart and home with an instant family that loved her from birth. The Pekenese is such a beautiful bread and as yourself, Toby was my boy who thought he was a human little boy and would get jealous if I spoke baby talk to another dog. Was Coco overdosed? I know exactly how you feel and after Toby died, I rush to the vet, it had closed and I pounded on the door, until someone let me in. The staff was so compassionate with me, because I was a wreck! I asked if I could see him and they brought him out in a black garbage bag, yes, garbage bag from the refridgerator and I was so upset, but that is what they do. I asked them to leave and I opened the bag and there was his beautiful face. I wanted to die! I hugged him and told him momma is hear and that I didn't forget about him, I said I was so sorry that I wan't there when he died. I felt soo guilty. I hugged him and kissed him tenderly and wispered in his ear, "It's ok to go, go to the light and go find Niki (his dog birth mother who passed a month earlier). He was still warm.

I signal to the workers that I was ok and went home and had to give the news to my mother (who is now deceased) that Toby died. Oh, how she grieved. I sat on the spot where he slept for over 10 yrs. next to me and sobbed until I couldn't sob anymore.

When we lose our pets, it is a death and we go through the same grief process as if we had loss a family member. It took me a very long time to heal and it help to talk with people who understood my pain. Some people can never understand that a pet is more that just an animal, they provide unconditional love and will always be in our heart.

It' will be ok, one step at a time and don't be afraid to write and say how much you hurt. Your little Coco would not want to see you crying and I feel that God created our pets also, so there must be a very special place for them also. So, until you meet again, you and Coco are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Judy