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A tribute to my special boy Toby who passed 2/7/01

                                                       " In Loving Memory of Toby - 2/7/01"

To my "best boy" Toby, as I write your tribute I can't stop the tears from flowing. I will love you eternally, until one day when God will call upon me, and you will come running to me from the gates of heaven and be the guiding light and show me the way.

I  ams so heart broken and most of all, I miss you greeting me at the door after work. I miss our very special walks that you just loved and how excited you became hearing the rattle of your collar and chain, and most of all I miss our personal tender moments of lots of hugging and sweet kisses above your beautiful dreamy eyes, but God saw you getting weaker and did what He thought was best He looked down upon you smiled and said "Toby come to rest."

My heart will eternally be broken, my life will never be the same. The pain is so deep. It has been carved into my soul. God took you in his arms and ended your pain, but changed my life forever. I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new,I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, now all I have is your memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake with which I will never part. God has you in His keeping and I have you in my souls and heart.

Rest in peace my beloved
best friend, until we meet again.

The children who love
you the most (my nieces and nephews)
Adam, Alexis, Anthony Eddie Jr.& Monique, Caitlyn
and your loving family.

Love Mom

7 Responses
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681148 tn?1437661591
I agree about getting another pet.  I had resolved not to get another cat when my Ivory Rose died, but life without a cat was making me a different person.  A non-pet person herself, out of interest for my well-being, said she thought I should get another cat.  Oddly enough, right about that time, my current cat's previous owner asked me to take the cat if something were to happen to her.  I didn't hesitate for a moment.  I had already decided I NEEDED another cat.  I had already fallen in love with this one after having cat sat her for six months before the previous owner had asked me.  Needless to say, I was actually shocked that something did happen to my friend and the cats previous owner.  Sure, I was also keeping a promise to my friend, but I really wanted the cat.  I just didn't expect to be getting the cat so soon after my friend had asked me to take the cat.  Remember, I had already decided I was going to get another cat before my friend asked me to take Akira.  I will never forget my precious Ivory Rose, but I also remember the empty feeling of not having a furry companion with me.  Life wasn't the same without a furry companion by my side, which is why my non-pet friend herself said I ought to get another cat.  And, this is coming from someone who really doesn't like keeping pets for herself.  She doesn't hate animals, though, and she isn't against anyone else having one or she wouldn't have said what she said.  And, she isn't an animal hater either.  She just doesn't want pets of her own.  But, she knows when someone else would do better with a pet by their side.  

You wouldn't be betraying your lovely rottie's memory or yourself if you later get yourself a new pet.  Maybe you just aren't ready for this yet, because you just lost your beloved Toby.  The grief for a pet is very much like the grief for a human family member, and no matter what the people who don't understand this grief say, you have to go through the grieving process.  We all do when we lose our pets.  It was three years that I waited for another cat.  I believe that for me it was about two and a half years too long.  But, the right one came along who NEEDED ME as much as I needed her.  And, of course, that makes it even more special.  She had already been a shelter cat before her previous owner adopted her.  I'm glad she didn't have to start over with an owner she didn't know.  Right now, the little girl is perched on her cardboard scratchboard on the floor next to me.  If we had room for a couch, she would be right here next to me on a couch.

Anyway, you will know when it's right to get another dog, or even a cat.  I'm very sure that you are in too much grief right now to even consider getting another companion animal.  My friend's son had lost his blue heeler (Australian cattle dog) to a sudden illness.  I'm not sure when his dog died, because I didn't hear that part.  But, he and his wife just got themselves a new labrador puppy.  They also have two little girls, so they were thinking about their little girls, too, when they got the new puppy.  I'm sure their little girls missed the blue heeler, even if he was nuts about his ball and could drive them nuts.  Everyone is happy to be able to bring in this new furry companion.  The son's wife had had a basset hound puppy, too, but they weren't able to keep the dog from swallowing rocks, so they didn't have that one long.  They surgically saved the dog once, but they weren't able to the last time.  That was a few years ago, before the youngest of the little girls was even born.  And, so long as they still had their blue heeler, they weren't getting another dog.  But, they also decided that when the blue heeler died that their little girls needed a dog to grow up with.  They did a lot of research before deciding on bringing home this little puppy.  I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard about it.  

I have come to the conclusion that getting a new pet isn't replacing the pet at all, but it helps with the healing process.  I think it's because we focus our energy outward and toward the well-being of the new pet, so we don't focus all our energy on how much we're grieving.  And, it's okay to wait a while longer before getting a new pet.  Especially when you're looking for a dog.  You want a good match after all.  When you're ready, you'll know if you want to look for a new rottie from a rescue or to try a different breed.
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1275938 tn?1281195461
Judy, I know its hard but  just think you are adding to your family and saving another. Im sure Toby would want you to help anothers and there are so many who need a loving home. I have lost alot of babies and everyone I would never want to know what life would be like without them. If I could have one thing it would be to take all the dogs and cats that are homeless and give them a home and love them so they would never be alone or hurt again. You will never forget Toby you will always have your memorys and those special moments and pics. but most of all he will be will always be in your heart 4ever!!
{{{{{{{{{Hugs to u Judy}}}}}}}}}
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would like to honor and remember Opus, Gemini, Samson, Lacy, Rathead, Tom Cat and Budkuss! May they rest in peace and may you meet again!

I will attempt to work on or add a candle lite image to honor each of our pets, so hang in there as I attempt to polish this forum :) hugs, Judy

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Welcome and I thank you for joining : My heart goes out to you with sooo many losses, but what unconditional love you received while you had them!!! You are definately a very special person to have loved and open your home to so many furbabies! You have more courage than me, because I loss only one and it just devistated me to where I haven't gotten another pet again! Fear of losing them and the aftermath that follows, but I promise that one day I will open my heart and home to another furball and I will probably look at shelters.

Thank you and and I hope you and opus will become regulars and also offer a kind word to someone just beginning to experience the pain of loss. God bless!!!! Judy
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1275938 tn?1281195461
Thanks Judy246 for this site. I am sorry for your loss and by the way, That was beautiful!  anyone who loves an animal feels the same way. They are precious gifts. I would like to list my pets in memory of also.

In Loving Memory of:
Gemini who was a white ball of fur and loving with his little smushed in face. We miss u!

Samson who was not with us long but loved him so very much. He was a Pitbull.

Lacy..my sweet Lacy, you are missed so much. A white Pitbull that loved us and we loved her. She was our protecter and she did a good job! She knew the good guys from the bad guys. I love you Lacy girl!

Rathead, my little white toy poodle. You was momas baby!!  I love you boy and I miss you sleeping on my head! He was so funny!

TomCat...Your suffering is over and I know you loved me as I loved you! You where the best lapcat ever born! I love you boy!!

Budkuss just  mixture of German Shepard and Rottweiler. I miss you also Bud, you was the sweetest boy I had!

Thanks again for this place!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes, I did write it and wrote it from the core of my sou! When I wrote it I was sobbing and wrote from the heart. I never new  Toby had a heart problem and felt guilty that I didn't catch any signs. I didn't think 10 was old, but in dog years it's getting up there in age.

It's been a while since my boy passed and yet, I always have his memory deep in my heart and I pray that when my mom died (July 19, 2007) that she met up with Toby. I also had another dog that passed and I had a dream with my mom and the dog that passed. It brought me great comfort to see mom and her previous boy again.

Toby's heart attack was unexpected, but his health started to decline within 6 months. It would break my heart to see him sick and having the vet staff hold him down to give him injections and IV. It hurt me more than it hurt him and I remember the way he looked at me as "why are you letting them hurt me"?  He will always be a part of my heart.  Thank you for writing and sharing and welcome your advice to others also. Hugs, Judy
Helpful - 0
874521 tn?1424116797
I thank you so much for the invite...I'm so grateful that you have found the time to pass on an ear to many others who are grieving, and I hope many will join in....I too lost my best buddy almost 5 years ago now...Opus a 17 yo himalayan to heart disease...it was a slow decline for him and not a sudden unexpected death as for you're Toby.
Still I wasn't prepared for that final moment of goodbye, it broke my heart and not a day goes by even after these 5 years that I don't have a little 'chat' with him and tell him how I miss him...."I thought about you with love today, but that is nothing new, I thought about you yesterday and days before that too"...beautiful, did you write this??
thanks again.
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