Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Community
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Avatar universal

PCOS, Depression, TTC

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 4 years now. We started off trying just naturally, having fun, not stressing.  After 6 months, I was getting worried.  After a year, I knew something was wrong!  I went to multiple doctors who told me nothing was wrong, I finally found an obgyn who listened to my concerns and was willing to do testing.  My older sister had been diagnosed with PCOS for years.  After a year and a half, I got the news I was dreading, I have PCOS.  After 6 cycles with clomid, my obgyn told me ivf was our only choice.  Not happy with that, I found an infertility specialist.  She found I had polyps in my uterus and the lining was too thick (my obgyn had just done a trans vaginal ultra sound and found none of this).  So she put me on birth control for three months in hopes to thin the lining but the bc made my periods unbearable and twice I was sent to the er for the heavy bleeding and blood clots and put on bed rest.  The last trip to the er, the dr told me if they couldn't get the bleeding under control, i'd need a blood transfusion, luckily it didn't come to that!  After a long awaited time, I finally had my dnc and the polyps removed (17!!) Then we started a fertility shot called menopur.  I gave myself shots in the stomach for weeks, every three days I went in for a t.v. ultra sound to see if I was producing eggs.  she upped the number of shots every time my body didn't respond, it finally got to the point that I was taking 4 shots a night!  (At this point, my insurance was covering the shots, i'd get 7 shots and have a copay of $50)  Then, I got notice that we had reached our "maximum lifetime" coverage for fertility related issues.  I was devastated!!  Then the doctor's office called, good news, I had some mature eggs, go ahead and take the shot that makes you ovulate and have a "fun" weekend come in on tues.  I was elated!  I knew this was meant to be, we are finally gonna have a baby!!!  I did everything by the book!  On Friday I went it to have my progesterone checked, it was at a really good level, the nurses were excited, I was excited!  It was working!  I had to go back a week later, next Friday for the blood test to see if I was pregnant.  They called me at 3 pm, the nurse said i'm sorry, it didn't work.  The doctor wants you to do another round of menopur, starting with 2 shots a night.  I was devastated.  it didn't hit me right away.  I called around to find out how much the shots would be without insurance.  the same seven shots that were $50 now were almost $1400!  I was working at a daycare in the infant room making $8/hour.  There was no way my husband and I could afford that!!!  So we decided to take a break.  I went into a downward spiral!  Emotionally, I was spent!  I cried constantly, I started having problems at my job (come on, I was around babies all day, I couldn't get away from it!)  Then my sister had another baby and my sister in law was preggo with her 5th.  In June, the week leading to Father's day, I got into a fight with one of the girls at work, she told me a bunch of really mean things, I left early and cried that whole night, giving myself a migraine and causing myself to throw up!  The next morning, I waited for my husband to leave for work, then I called into work.  I made a plan to kill myself.  Except, when I actually realized that I had decided that, I broke down crying again.  How could I do that to my hubby?!?  We spent the weekend fighting over nothing, I was distant and reserved.  Monday, I called my boss and quit.  That night I told my husband I wanted to die.  Tuesday I went to the doctors and was put on celexa, an anti-depressant.  That made me sick, so I was switched to Zoloft.  I went to counseling.  I feel much better and happier but still no baby.  I still cry a lot, when no-ones around.  I looked into adoption and fostering but my husband wants us to keep trying for our own baby.  I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do!  I want a baby more that anything in the world!  Some advice, words of encouragement, anything, would be much appreciated!  Ps: my hubby had a sperm count done and it came back excellent.  He is 35 and I am 27, almost 28.  Thanks again...
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Dear you are only 27.... you still have years to try. Thinking about having baby and Crying over it again and again is going to harm you even more. Suicide is not the solution.
I am 28 years old with PCOS and struggling to have a baby so do not think that you are alone. Keep positive hope and enjoy with your husband.

In the end adoption is an option so dont think that you will never get to be a mom. Living with hope is all we need to do.
563773 tn?1374250139
I can understand your concern but suicide is not the solution to your problem. Most women with PCOS don't ovulate and thus cannot become pregnant. So the first treatment option for infertility is usually the administration of drugs to induce ovulation like Clomid which you have already taken. Secondly Glucophage or Metformin is an insulin-sensitizing agent that is sometimes used in conjunction with Clomid.

Other than that, Injectable HCG, Hmg, FSH, GnRH and assisted reproduction like IUI, IVF, GIFT AND ICSI may also be used. Please discuss these treatment options with your doctor.
It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your doctor. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care and please do keep me posted on how you are doing.

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