please help!

[ehill707]

Im 38 weeks today and the father of the baby is using drugs and won't talk to me. He has been completely unsuportive and ive been doing everything in my own. I know I have to worry about taking care of myself and this child but im really scared to leave because I know what an amazing person he is sober. Nothing I say gets through to him and he won't be honest about anything. In afraid that when I go into labor he will be high and us not talking is making things so much worse. Has anyone else been through this with thier bf? I could go into labor at anytime and have no support and im still working 6 days a week I know im ranting but idk what to do...

[monayin]

You can do it on your own. I did it when I had my son 23 years ago. You are so much better off just struggling than struggling AND protecting yourself and your baby from the dangers of drugs and drug abuse. You can't change someone else and neither will a baby. My ex-husband is an addict and has changed for a month here and there, but i learned not to trust it because it never lasted. You have to be the constant positive force in that baby's life. Good luck and try resources like al-anon and check with your social service agencies.

[SympliSai]

I agree with the last two mom's post. I too went thru a similar situation. He didn't start out on drugs, but it ended that way. He was abusive. He didn't physically abuse me while pregnant, but any kind of abuse is not ok! We lived together. He wouldn't work or do anything financial to help. So, my mentality became either sh*t, get off the pot or I'm going to kick it over. Needless to say, I kicked it over. After I had my son, I started packing up my apartment. I told him I had no money because I was off without pay. I put my things in storage and moved home. I had money. I had AFLAC and weekly payments from short term disability. Me and boys were alright. Sometimes we are our biggest enemy. We have to know what battles to fight and which ones to get out of the ring. He is not worth losing your child!!!

[number2onway]

I was in a very similar situation. Living with him and 4 months after Emma was born the law did get involved. She was taken out of our home because of it, I had to go through therapy, counseling, drug and alcohol counseling also i gave tons and tons of random UAs and mouth swab tests just to prove i wasnt using and also leaving her father who continued to drink and smoke and not doing anything to get her back. I got my own place and finally the state put her back into my own custody just before her first birthday. Don't mess around with people like that in general. And.. I think honestly if you can't see through that and would introduce your daughter to the drug world all because her dad  is a "good person sober", then maybe you aren't ready to be a parent. It isn't easy.. it's extremely hard, and frustrating.. but it can be done, I'm doing it. But honey your daughter literally picks up everything from your  laughter to the expression on your face and from your posture to your naughty potty mouth. Anyways Lol, be a role model/survivor not another failure/unsuccessful story.

[afootshorterthanyou]

I have been through this. I left him. They do not care about anythingbbut their next hit. You and your baby deserve better than that. And if he is not supportive and doesnt  helpnow he wont later on either. You should take care.of the baby yoursekf and get yoyr life together. That baby needs.to grow up with a strong mother to look up to be ayse your example will set the mindset of her for the rest of her life. It doesnt matter who he is off druggs the point is hes on them and not giving them up. You need to think about what that id saying about your character and how that wilk effect your baby. There are plenty of strong men out there who can be a father not just a sperm donar to your child. But yoy need to get yourlife right first. Starting with ditching the low life and getting your life.right. remember its not just you anymore you jabe someone else. Think about. Someobe far more important.

[bunnykissy]

I've never been through that with a mate but I have as a child. As the voice of your unborn child you need to get as far away from him as you can. Guess what you cant change anyone. He will destroy you,  hes already destroying himself. He doesn't give a F about anything but his drugs. They will lie cheat and steal to get their next hit. Watch yourself and think with your head. its time for you to be strong, if you enable him you are just as wrong as him and that would make you a piece of crap mother. Your baby deserves to be in a home with people who are not on drugs. Put your big girl panties on and do what's right for your child.

[abbb01]

Im sorry ur having to deal with that and maybe he will change when baby is born but I think for at least now ud better just plan on doing it urself because u cant make someone get clean they have to want it but also u can't have ur baby around that kind of thing in case the law gets involved. Even though ur not using its very easy to be guilty by association. Hopefully u have some family or even some of his family that can be there for u but until he chooses to clean up be strong momma