FTM @ 34 weeks age 40. Apprehensive...

[Van818]

Hi Ladies, I'm looking for some advice and reassurance please! I'm 40, expecting my first and almost 34 weeks. Just finished my 2nd ante natal class in which the midwife went through stages of labour. I felt very ill listening to most of it and now feel so overwhelmed, nervous and unprepared for the birth. Does anyone have any advice on how to be calm and prepared? I'd like to feel a little stronger and more capable. My plan is to have as little intervention as possible. Vanessa

[LynxLove]

Have faith in your body, in the people you choose to be around you and support you through labor. No one can truly be ready for labor the first time or the 5th time. What you do know is you have become knowledgeable, and picked people to support you. For everyone labor is different. I did not find it unmanageable. In fact my husband accuses me of sleeping through transition because my eye were closed and I was humming.

I found meditation in the water bath very helpful. I also made healing sounds while focusing on letting the contractions  roll through me, not fighting them. My midwife says I didn't say a word, but was humming from 7cm to baby in arms.

[GoldieLox GoldieLox]

STAY POSITIVE.....I'm in the same boat I'm 40 and 4 months....this is my 1st as well ....PRAY....GOD GIVE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS LIKE THIS! I have FAITH IN YOU do WE HAVE FAITH IN OURSELVES...be strong and I wish you well....YOUR JOYOUS MOMENT IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER....you have done well so far....you took the class NOW BE THE STRONG WOMAN THAT YOU ARE AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BABY...
GOD BLESS YOU

[GoldieLox GoldieLox]

STAY POSITIVE.....I'm in the same boat I'm 40 and 4 months....this is my 1st as well ....PRAY....GOD GIVE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS LIKE THIS! I have FAITH IN YOU do WE HAVE FAITH IN OURSELVES...be strong and I wish you well....YOUR JOYOUS MOMENT IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER....you have done well so far....you took the class NOW BE THE STRONG WOMAN THAT YOU ARE AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BABY...
GOOD BLESS YOU

[sgulia1987]

I was the other way around. I felt the contractions were worse than I expected, but my contractions were 2 min apart by 4cm and I had a very fast labor. I had an epidural as well. It's hard to be prepared. I think going to classes, watching videos and just learning about what happens to you and your baby is very helpful. It takes any shock and surprise out of it. I would say the best thing to do is get as much rest as you can once you start feeling contractions. Don't go to the hospital till you have to. Have someone with you that can take charge, that knows what should help you and does the lets do this lets try this because your not going to want to and you will need the encouragement. Encouragement and good emotional support is really important. No matter what it's all worth it, I would have preferred natural, but have no regrets about the epidural. No matter what happens in the end you really will just be so glad to have your little one in your arms. Just looking at baby will bring more joy to your heart than you ever thought possible. Don't stress about labor. Everything will be fine in the end even if it doesn't go how you wanted. You do what you can and the rest is out of your control.

[kimmer1976]

I guess I'd say that whatever your plan is don't count on it happening that way. Just try to relax and enjoy the experience. There's no reason to be afraid or apprehensive because the reward is just so great.

[Ilovemy2bebes]

honestly with my first, I didn't take any classes of any kind. I went into it with no expectations. I just had a plan in mind. If I was curious about something, I looked a lot up online n my mother n friends who've had babies for advice. It helps to set up a plan (and a back up)-tell yourself this is what I'm going to do n these are the steps to get through. What's calming to you? I like music so I made a playlist. Tried my best to stay off any kind of drugs but I really couldn't bear it past a certain point so I opted for the epidural which worked for me.  I pushed for 40 minutes instead of what could have been half that time because I couldn't feel but having the epidural was my back up plan. Don't psych yourself out. Focus on the things u can control. Remind yourself that u can't expect it to happen exactly the way u want.

[dianaexoh]

When I was in labor, I was astounded that it wasn't as bad as everyone made it sound. It hurts, but it's more manageable than you'd expect. When there was a bad contraction I would think "every contraction is one closer to my son", which made getting through each one a victory of sorts. You'll figure out pretty quickly in what helps you best. My only plan was to go as far as I could naturally, but not shame myself if I got an epidural. Without hard expectations, there's less disappointment and more reward if you follow through.