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Another miscarraige

Hi all. I am 46 and have 2 children 24 and 17. I was shocked at the beginning of this year to learn I was pregnant first of all cause of my age( I thought I was just going thru my change) and second because my fiance had a vasectomy 2 years earlier. The hosp. said that his vasectomy must have fused back together cause I was 4 months pregnant. After the shock wore off I was so excited even though noone in our families were too thrilled. They said we were too old to be starting again and what were we thinking. How could we even consider bringing another child into this world with the way it is. But none the less we were very excited to be having another child. Unfortunately a week later I began to bleed and ended up having a miscarraige. I can't beleive how devestating that was. I hated everyone telling me it was for the best and to get over it, especially at my age. That was the end of July.
Yesterday I was over a week late and decided to take a pregnancy test just to see even though the dr. said it was probably a freek thing and would never happen again. Sure enough it instantly came up positive. My fiance and I were again thrilled. This afternoon I noticed that I was starting to bleed. Could the pregancy test be wrong? I don't understand. This is killing me to feel that I am just too old to have a baby. My fiance and I decided that we want another child but he is afraid that if I keep having miscarraiges that it could be dangerous for my health.
6 Responses
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698538 tn?1228122979
I am so sorry for your loss.  It is horribly cruel when people say things like that are EVER for the best.  Honey...if our world is so terrible...why do we all fight so darn hard to stay alive?  Yes, times can get tough...but our children are resiliant and it is up to us to give them as many tools as we can to see them throught.  There are no guarantees in life...not today, not tomorrow and not back in the 1800's when someone in your family decided to give birth in spite of the world they then lived in!  Don't be discouraged!  People are living longer and women are having babies later in life.  It is okay to be US!  Surround yourself with people who will bless you, pray for you and support you!  It seems to me like those of us in our 40's are more like the women were in their 30's when I was a child.  Yay!  I hope you ARE pregnant!  You will be in my prayers!  Tammy
Helpful - 0
195469 tn?1388322888
I am so sorry to hear about your miracle pregnancy ending at 4 months.  How cruel of people to say you are too old, or it was for the best.  How can people be so insensitive?  Your pregnancy, despite your husband's vasectomy and obvious spontaneous reversal, is a miracle.  I know that you and your husband must have been shocked at the news, then absolutely delighted and scared all at the same time.

I was told by my OB/GYN that women in their 40's and beyond, often have a pregnancy failure, because the eggs are "old."  I hate that word.  Miscarriage usually happens because something has failed to form properly or we just don't have the correct level of hormones to carry the baby to term.  

If you are pregnant again, I would have your doctor run all the testing for hormone levels, to see if they can supplement your current hormones, so you can carry this pregnancy to term.  If your doctor feels that your eggs are just too old, then you can be sure that there is indeed a defect in the growing fetus and like Nature sometimes does, she ends the pregnancy to keep us from having a less than normal developed child.

I have been through the "old egg" syndrome and it's devastating to hear.  If you and your husband cannot seem to carry a pregnancy and really want another child, perhaps you can think of seeking donor eggs.  Your body is obviously in a "wanna be pregnant state."  You conceive very easily.  That's all part of your miracle.

Before this pregnancy goes any further, I hope the doctor will get you on the medications you need to carry this baby to term.  Medical science has come so far and can assist "older mother's" in having a successful pregnancy.  (Remember anyone over age 35, is considered of advanced maternal age.)  Another term I do not like.  Advanced maternal age....how degrading.

I hope and pray that this pregnancy goes off without a hitch.  You and your husband truly are a miracle in real life.  Congratulations to you both.  When that baby IS born, shame on those that condemned you for getting pregnant "at your age," when they want to coo and awe over the new baby.  

A baby is a miracle of life, no matter what age they are conceived.  it's a shame that more people can not rejoice in your miracle, as you and your husband have.  Keep us all posted.  We all wish you the greatest and healthiest pregnancy.  You are an inspiration to many, that it's never too late, when they body says, "Let's try this one more time."

All the best to you and hubby and the little bean that apparently is within you again.

Good luck to you and many prayers,
Heather
from the MS Forum
Helpful - 0
254689 tn?1251180040
I too am very sorry that you're having to go through all of this anxiousness plus the m/c this past summer - I really am.  Having been through two m/c's myself, I totally relate to everything you said in your post.

I too have much older children - the oldest was 23 when I got pregnant a year ago.  My children did know we were ttc'ing but nobody else in my family were aware so when I shared my positive pregnancy results, I got some pretty negative reactions.  I disregarded them as painful as they were and focused on those who though they told me I was crazy, ended up being so excited for the baby.

I hate that people in your family said your m/c was for the best - what an awful thing to say!!  You're in the right place for support during this time.  I hope that things go well for you - I believe you should call your dr & make him/her aware of the situation so maybe they can test your hcg levels & get an idea of what's going on so you won't have to be in this state for too long.  Best wishes, jen
Helpful - 0
686040 tn?1267294857
I am so sorry you are going through this and that people may not understand and be insensitive to you. But if you want a baby, go for it and it really does not matter what anybody thinks. You have every right to be worried, but I like to think that God has a role in this as well. My husband was concieved when his mother was 46 years old. Miscarraiges become common as we get older but it does not mean you shuouldn't try if its what you really want. So, if you tested positive I say, go see your doctor.  Good luck.. Jo
Helpful - 0
377493 tn?1356502149
I am so sorry for your loss.  I completely understand how upsetting it is, and I know firsthand the insensitive things some people can say.  They just don't understand the pain. As Pamela said, false positives very rarely happen.  Bleeding during first trimester is pretty common.  It can mean miscarriage, or it can be a multitude of other things.  You really should see your OB sooner than later.  If the bleeding becomes really heavy, please go to the emergency room.  Try not to worry too much....35% of women will experience bleeding in first trimester, and 50% of those will have healthy pregnancies and babies.  Having one miscarriage does not necessarily mean you will have another.  The odds of a second miscarriage are no higher then the odds of a first.  

Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted.  Take care, Amanda
Helpful - 0
480331 tn?1310403529
Hello!  I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  If you took a hpt and it came up positive, chances are it is correct.  Have you scheduled an appt with your Dr yet?  I just turned 45 in Nov...3 days later I got a positive HPT reading.  I delivered a healthy baby boy at 43, but being 45 and pregnant it's only natural to feel worried.  You are on the right forum for support, whatever your outcome may be.  My first OB's appt is this coming Tues, so I have no clue what my HCG levels are or any other information.  I am very nervous but excited.  As long as you are still getting your period, you run the chance of becoming pregnant.  You are only 1 yr older than me, so please try not to think of the number in terms of how old you are, but the fertile condition of your body.  If you are able to become pregnant at 46, you're body is still in a baby making stage.  Sad but true, our eggs are not always viable and in prime condition which explains complications...but then again there are many viable healthy eggs that pass the test!   Pls try to relax, and don't listen to the negatives from family/friends...you and your husband are the only two people that matter, and your happiness, wishes and dreams are yours alone to share and no one elses.  Pls make an appt with your Dr to see why you are bleeding, and to confirm your pregnancy.  Pls keep me posted!  Best wishes!  And, pls don't worry! : )  Pam
Helpful - 0
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