Need advise

[rghkah38]

I just had a baby in July and she will be 5 months on the 6th of Dec.  This whole time I've been breastfeeding.  My issue right now is my mother.  She keeps on comparing my baby to other infants saying my baby is big.  It's starting to really bother me because I know that she's perfect.  She is still in 3-6 months clothes.  She weighs 14 lbs 5 oz.  The doctor told me that she is between 50 to 75 pententile range The other day she gave me sweaters for Stella that were for a year old and she says I hope they are not too small.  That made me so mad.  Does anybody know any good articles that has in it about not comparing babies beause they are all not the same? I am getting so frustrated.

[Jhanee]

I have twins and they were born premature. Well they made up for it quickly. The older twin has always been in the 90 percential. Her doctor said she is fine because she stays right there and her growth rate is normal with children her age. He just says when she gets around the puberty she will slim down. The doctor has told us she is not a little girl and never will be. He explained she will probably be a healthy size 10 or 12 adult. She loves him and it has given her so much confidence. As for your mother please let her read this and maybe she will understand. You see my grandmother was the same way and it gave me a complex. Now when you look at the photos you can see I was a normal size child. But because of her I grew up with weight issues. Well I also grew up hating her. I stopped speaking to her completly at 12. I told her how I felt at 15 and it was not pretty. At 18 I woke up and understood she did not know any better, but she changed toward me. I am one of the few she said I love you to and told that she was proud of, but the comments did their job on me. I grew up with her image of me and at 35 years of age I was 297lbs. I had gastric by-pass surgery and until my recent pregancy I average 165.  Words damge no matter what. As a mother I encourage you to be your daughter voice and champion. I do this for my daughter all the time. When she questions her size I reminder she is going to be model tall and beautiful. She is 8 yrs old and wears junior clothes, but I make sure she is fashionable. Your daughter sounds normal to me and like she is growing at good rate. You should be proud.

[sue68]

Hi there,

My baby will be 5 months too on Dec 5th and he's 14lbs now. He still fits clothes "3-6 months" but is growing out of some.  I have a whole bunch of handmedowns from sil's and I can tell you that the sizes all vary - some 6 month outfits are the same size as the 12 month and some even look like 18months.   My in-laws are saying he looks healthy, like a little Buddha.  Our pediatrician says he's in the 25 percentile but growing normally.   He said not to worry about our son's size - he said that babies grow in their own pace and you can't tell how tall they'll be until age 2 .   Your baby sounds nice and healthy so try not to let your mother's comments bother you.  If they continue - can you talk to her about it ?  My mother keeps telling me what I "should" be feeding my boy - how we were all bottle fed with cereal and we're fine etc...etc.... I just laugh off her comments/ advice because I decided not to let her words grate me anymore ( believe me, I had major mother issues ).     Enjoy your baby, don't let people's comments ruin your happiness.  My son may be on the small side ( for now ) but, he's perfect :D  

[adgal]

Ive had the opposite problem.  My son was small at birth, and although catching up quickly, he is still on the small side of normal.  I used to have total strangers ask me what was wrong with him (after asking me if he was preemie, and me saying he wasn't).  I can remember one time getting so frustrated I answered..."we aren't sure if it was the cocaine or the meth, but I am off the drugs now so he should be fine"..lol.  (I don't recommend that by the way..)

I would also show her her growth chart.  All babies are different, and yours sounds nice and healthy.  I can't name any specific articles, but if you google things like "average height, weight" with your babies age, I am certain you would come across some good info.  The other thing you could consider is taking your mother along at the next wellness check or Dr.'s appointment.  

Good luck to you!

[oceanv]

I don't have any good ideas other than to explain to her how it makes you feel, i'd be tempted to give her a growth chart printout.

The other thing though is (I have a 14 month old) I've learned
a.People say the stupid things about babies big, small, short, head too big, too small - and they don't have a clue what "normal" is
b.Sizes on the clothes don't always mean anything.  I had to put my 12 month old in a 24 month jacket and she's 50 percentile :)  maybe she really thought sweaters look like they fit small

Good Luck and don't let her get to you,
Joanne