Pregnancy 35 and Older Community
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Avatar universal

Cramping is a bitch

I'm 44 yrs old, my husband I thought about having a child to give our mother's new grandchildren, even though his sister has 6 kids and my sister's have kids, we are the only 2 that dont have any and would like to welcome one into our lives.

The problem with me is, we tried about 2 months ago to get pregnant, 2 days before my period and low and behold I had a normal period, so 2 weeks ago we tried again thinking this might be it and like every other dear soul on here explaining about what they recieved not to be or what they didnt expect.

I can tell you for-most that from what I've read about the one day bleeding event, YUP, your pregnant without a doubt.

It's scary but for me if I know better from what my body is telling me, wait till I tell my husband.

I still get cramping which is driving me crazy, my breasts havent turned brown, nor do they hurt, my back doesnt ache nor am I hungrier.

So what can the problem be?

Since getting off the pill along time ago, very long time ago, thinking it was for the better, I dont smoke. But I wanted to be able to have a normal period and I did at first then it just never came, my doctor said be happy your in your 40's, it's harder to get pregnant. Some women can't even concieve and are trying to do everything possible, but what if?

What if I am pregnant, should I be happy or should I be terrified like everyone else?

Why should I be terrified, because this is a new experience for me and the fact I'm 44, turning 45 in March. It's my age I'm told that could make bad things happen.
8 Responses
Avatar universal
I am 41 and learned today that I am pregnant. At the same time, I am being told that my level is very low (16).  That is a sign that I am either miscarring and/or etopic pregnancy. I am having mild cramping and have to shared. I am very upset because my husband and I are trying very hard to have a child of our own.  I feel like I am the problem due to my age.

Any suggestions for me anyone.
Avatar universal
Hun, I feel for you, god only knows because this gift comes from him, like you, I myself want so badly to have a child, but I was told of issues standing in my way.

You probably heard  quite awhile back that a 68 yr old woman concieved a baby for her daughter who couldnt have children, so what do you make of that?

One of my sister's shattered my dream and said, think about your age, think about your health, think about your weight. Ok I know I'm over weight, but so was my older sister, her last child weighed 11lbs-2oz's, where my sister I'm speaking of is slim and had normal birth's.

The sister I talked to about this was 40 yrs old and had her last baby of normal weight, so what says that you and I cant have that too.

I hate when you test to see if your pregnant any time of day, ok about 15 min's ago I tested to see and it showed negative, so I will wait for tomorrow morning and I will test again.

I had sex with my husband Jan 26th, wait 2 weeks after which come tomorrow it will be 12 days. That's what I was told to do, I guess I'm just anxious to know the results.

I had light bleeding, one day only, I also had really medium pain/cramps but get this Neat_1 - I had really bad pain in my left arm and wrist. I would say the pain that occurred there was out of the ordinary, so like you mentioned in your post here, could this be an etopic pregnancy?

Why?   because I read what the signs are and I'm wondering wtf?
Avatar universal
Hi..ectpoic don't show up that early with pain...usually pain doesn't occur til you are at 6-7 wks but it s is something to be aware of..the pain will be left or right if it indeed travels up your neck and shoulder that means you have already ruptured a tube and again that could not happen in an early pregnnacy because it is just not large enough to rupture a tube..Secondly, age does play a factor in concieving but more and more woman of age are having healthy natural children so 45 or 41 is definitely not too old.. the best and only way to truly tell if you are pregnant is a blood test but usually we all see that positive home test first which does indeed take 10-12 days after conception to shwo a BFP-Big Fat Positive...they are in the habit of running a quantitative HCg level if you are older than 40 or have miscarried before so they can start charting numbers from the beginning, again 16 is not a bad number if it is your first and taken 10-12 days after coneception...the real key will be to see if it doubles...there is so much to read and so much that is scary but take heed that every pregnancy no matter how long it last is indeed a miracle and worthy of celebration ..sometimes fear will inhibit that possibility...so take caution, be informed but enjoy your pregnancy...it is the most beautiful experience you will ever have...Neat_1 Congratulations...APACJI, I hope you get your positive result soon and the pain dissipates soon..Hope this helped a little bit and welcome...! The best thing you can do for any pregnancy is to have faith and try and stay positive...hard to do but not impossible.:)
Avatar universal
Yes it is possible!  I am 50 and conceived naturally.  16w4d
Avatar universal
OMG, 50 WOW, so was that great news for you, because so many women fear their babies turn out to have disabilities and such . . .because of the age we are.

I talked to my husband again this evening and I said, dont tell your mom just yet, because I want to make sure, then I said . . .so how does it feel to be a Papa if it turns out that I am, he said old. I'm like what, you told me back in November that it would be great news for the both of us if I am and that your Mom would be so happy for us as my mother has dementia and she would be too.

So I guess its the thought of it and then I guess he will change when the baby gets here.

I'm scared and excited all at once, scared and not sure if I am and then that goes away and the excited part flows in. Because back in the end of November begining of Dec07 we tried and this was 2 days before my period showed up and then we were fooling around 2 weeks ago and now it's wait and see.

I guess my sister is trying to say "What if . . .

She also told me tonight that my niece is getting married in Dec 08 in Jamaica, yes this I do know, because I thought it was 2009 and not this year-shitt and if I'm preggy's, the baby is due in November08 (just guessing)?
148691 tn?1260198503
Hunny, there is so much (SO MUUUUCH) more to conceiving than just count days.....
Unfortunately people judge (about age) and don't make things any easier! I feel for you..., i had losses and infertility before, and thought my world was just collapsing... so I learned how my body works.
You need to (first of) have normal periods, wether they are 28 or 35 days or whatever, but you need to know when you get them and how long your cycle is. Then, you need to know and pinpoint your ovulation day. You CAN'T just rely on 'counting 2 weeks'.... cuz nobody is the same. Even different cycles, it might vary what day you ovulate.
You need to buy an ovulation kit at the pharmacy (i recommend the answer brand that has 21 tests) and pretty much take a test everyday. Read the instructions there, pretty much when the test line gets darker than the other line, means you are ABOUT to ovulate which is the best time to make love! before you ovulate not after.
You need (if you want) to take your temperatures every morning and make a chart (go to fertilityfriend.com to download one) and write down your temps, if you pinpoint the day before you O (with the kit) and a day or two after, you have a temperature raise of three constant days, it means you ovulated....
See? it's more complicated than just that. I also heard of people conceiving at your age, but some can't.... some have conceived at your age thru IVF (one of my BESTEST-EST friends here did! 40smama) and now they are about to be mommies! so you might wanna consider seeing a fertility specialist now... before time keeps running.
I am sorry you're having such a hard time!!! we have all gone thru that at one point sweetie! just don't give up hope and inform yourself!!!! =)

Best of lucks!!!!
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