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Dangers of hot yoga (Bikram)

Please help.  I recently found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant.  I have been practising Bikram yoga for 2 years and never dreamed that if I was to become pregnant, it would be dangerous for the baby.  I went to my doc today and she explained to me the dangers of excessive heat and birth defects. I had NEVER heard of this until now. Believe me, I will not walk back into that room until the birth of this child, but could the damage already be done!?! I can not get a straight answer anywhere and now I'm very worried.  I thought I was doing something good for my body.  I love the yoga and most days it doesn't even seem hot.  I'm very athletic with a low blood pressure of 114/60.  I also have a low BPM that averages around 58-60.  Prior to Bikram yoga, I had ran two full marathons and two half marathons. I switched to bikram yoga two years ago because of the back problems the excessive running was doing which the hot yoga has greatly helped allivate.  I love to sweat and work out hard, but never wanted to do anything that could damage my child.  I knew all the basics, no drinking, watch prescription medications, no smoking, watch fish, etc...  Now I'm stressed and worried what could I have done in my efforts of trying to be fit at 38.  I need some reassurance or information of what to expect.  

Thanks.
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1008869 tn?1283961257
Hi Moonflower:

Congrats and welcome!

I may sound silly, but what exactly is Bikram yoga?  Assuming its something where excessive heat is involved?

Either way, please do not worry about it.  Nothing will happen to the baby, will not cause any birth defects. They talk about try not going into  a jacuzzi/hot bath over 105 degrees as to not raise your body temp, but believe me, before I found out I was prego, I was taking a jacuzzi every night. Doc said not to worry, not this early in the game...so I am passing that along to you!

:-) court
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1008869 tn?1283961257
Just checked out Bikram yoga...you crazy girl...god love ya! I'd pass out in the first 2 minutes!

The purposed to keep you bodyheat at 98 degrees... the same as your body temperature normally so no worries.   Good for you for keeping yourself healthy!  

I would be lucky to get enough exercising walking from kitchen to living room...LOL!
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1021584 tn?1317409158
Congrats!!! just wanted to pass my thoughts about this on...
I did so much hot yoga when I was in the US. My instructor was pregnant and teaching classes- doing headstands the day before she went into labour.. I am not suggesting you do this at all!!!! just an example!

If you think about it..Yoga originated in India where it is hot, so typically practiced in the heat. I understand there are numerous modifications in most postures which your Bikram teacher should be able to tell you, thus allowing you to practice safely.
With regards to the heat... Overall, your body sweats to maintain a constant internal temperature, as long as this is happening you should be safe. If it is over I am sure you would be dizzy, or something. If you have been keeping yourself hydrated during and after classes and being kind to yourself in your classes...eg. not pushing yourself as too hard, I am sure you and babba are fine. Have a talk to your teacher about it. They are trained and accredited through special schools so should be able to help you to maintain a safe and healthy practice. Hope that helps. Also see the link below
http://www.bikramyoga.com/testimonials/YogaduringPregnancy.htm
Good luck and tc.
Minimin
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your responces.  I guess I will always be concerned until he/she gets here and I know everything turned out all right.  I just didn't want to do anything wrong and never realized heat could play such a harmful factor in the early development.  I've given up my practise and plan on sticking to swimming, walking, and either prenatal yoga or some other form without the heat.  I can go back to hot yoga later.  I just really hope no damage was done.  I'm a little frustrated that there isn't more information about it.  I practised for two weeks in the beginning before I knew I was pregnant.  When I found out and talked to my doctor about it, she said not to do it agian, and it was too late if the damage was done.  That really didn't make me feel any better.  I'm already concerned because of my age - 38, adding on the possibility of damage from hot yoga just adds to my fear.  I would have quit when we started TTC, but I didn't know it could be so harmful.  The studio acts like it's perfectly fine to practise throughout pregnancy including the first trimester.  When you're trying to get pregnant, it  could take a month, a year, ... how do you know what to do and not to do "just in case"?  What can getting over heated really do during the first few weeks?
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Avatar universal
Congratulations!!!

First off - how much do you like your doctor? Seems like she has put a lot of unneeded stress on a pregnant woman! It should tell you something that you cant find any info that backs up her claims. Sorry if I sound a little mad but I was given some unneccesary stress in the begininning of my pregnancy and it is one thing to cover your butts and mention every possibility its another to scare the daylights out of an already nervous mama. If it makes you feel any better I had a fever of 104 for an entire week in the 6th week of pregnancy, crazy virus I picked up from my 4 year old and I was terrified that it would seriously hurt the baby. My doctor told me to stop worrying , the baby will be fine and he is.

Dont worry so much , enjoy being pregnant.
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231441 tn?1333892766
Hi,

The reason you sweat when you do that exercise is that your body is doing it to maintain the appropriate core temperature.  Also your body is used to it, so I am sure that it could adjust appropriately to reduce the 'stress' of the hot environment.

The recommendation is against sauna, which are passive heat.

Exercise is good for you an baby, particularly you are used to it.  Ie. not something suddently putting stress.  They have not found any detrimental effect of raising body temperature during exercise, providing that good hydration is maintained.  All of the studies show that exercise is good for your baby and you. It results in a fitter more adaptable baby.  

The only consideration is don't start any very strenuous activities during pregnancy (it is ok if you were doing it before pregnancy), and don't do it if it doesn't feel right / is painful.

Your doctor is probably not up-to-date on exercise and pregnancy guidelines.  

Hope this makes you feel better.  Your baby will be fine.  Enjoy pregnancy, and though I wouldn't recommend the hot yoga for now, regular  yoga and exercise would surely be fine.

I was able to exer
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951946 tn?1263565383
Hi Moonflower,

You have made the right call, in my humble opinion, about giving up Bikram yoga. I have been practicing yoga for almost 13 years and for the past few years, it was mostly a Bikram yoga practice. I just fell in love with the heat and that rush of adrenaline after class.

I am 38 years old and I was practicing Bikram when I got pregnant this February. I lost the baby at 10 weeks in April. I will never know if the hot yoga had anything to do with it, but I wish that I had been better informed about the pros and cons. The folks at the studio told me it was safe. Because I had been practicing and volunteering there for years and had witnessed many women go through their entire pregnancies doing Bikram, I did not ask my midwife at the time because I didn't want to be told to stop. :( What I learned the hard way is that what might be fine for one woman, or many women, is not necessarily good for me.

I actually stopped doing Bikram after the miscarriage because I also found out I am hypothyroid, with low progesterone levels and adrenal fatigue, and that the heat was probably also playing a role in the endocrine system issues that I had. (I was actually told this by the studio owner (!!), who goes to the same naturopath that I do.)

So it's a gray area. Excessive heat *can* be dangerous to the fetus, or at best it might just mess with your endocrine system.

I've switched back to "regular" yoga, which was my first love anyway, and I rarely miss the heat anymore. My endocrine system bounced back and I got pregnant again within 60 days.

Anyway, that's my story for what it's worth. :)
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951946 tn?1263565383
P.S. Just to follow up in case I was not clear, I do NOT believe for one second that you have done any harm to your baby! Many women don't even know they are pregnant until well past 5 weeks. I just personally don't think hot yoga is a great idea for pregnant women.

I think it was wrong of your doctor to worry you that way.
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Avatar universal
Thanks everyone for your responces.  

I believe too that it's the wrong practise for anyone pregnant.  We have had several pregnant women practise throughout thier entire pregnancy, but for me, it just doesn't feel right at all.  But I know how hard I push myself and that just doesn't feel right.  Giving it up for the duration of the preganancy is not a problem and well worth it for a healthy baby.  

I do truly hope I haven't done any damage.  I would be absolutly devestated if anything is wrong and I felt it was related to the hot yoga.  I would feel even more devestated for my husband.  He is so excited about this baby and it would kill me if I did anything to harm our child.  I haven't even mentioned to him my worries because I don't want him to worry or take away from his excitement at all.  

My doctor really did probably make me over worry.  I was freaking out a little when I left my first appointment where they did an ultrasound.  It was too early to find a heartbeat, and that worried me too.  Then she mentioned the possibilities of genetic abnormalities associated with heat... and that if I had been practising, it was probably too late... we would just have to wait and see.  Of course then, I did what I really didn't need to do and started looking up heat related birth defects and found stuff about neural tube defects and brain damage associated with elevated maternal core temperatures, that's when I really started to panic.  I have no idea what my core temeperature is when I practise or when I was practising up until I was 5 weeks.  I did read that it's 28 days after conception when the neural tuble closes which is why those related birth defects usually happen before the mother knows she's preganant.  Of course, who can ever say exactly what causes what when there are so many other factors that can play a role.  Environmental factors, genetics, or vitamin deficiencies.  

I would just really like the studio to be more informed and give out better information.  Maybe even post a sign of warning that if you are pregnant, or even think you could be pregnant, you shouldn't practise becuase of possible heat related complications.  Maybe I'm jumping the gun and being entirely too protective, but I knew we were trying to concieve, and never realized the heat could cause damage so early.  I was actually thinking the problems associated with the yoga would have been more related to the poses, not the heat.  I was completely caught off guard when my doctor told me.  Now I wish I would have made that appointment with her before we got pregnant to get better information.  We only tried for two months and I really figured it would have taken longer and they won't see you unless you've been trying for at least 3 months to get pregnant.  It's all so confusing.

I'm hoping and praying that 9 months from now I can make a post back to this saying "The baby is heatlthy and happy! Everything turned out just fine!"

I am considering finding another doctor.  The one I use was one that took over the postion of my previous doctor before she moved.  She's "ok", but I've only seen her twice for my check ups.  She didn't give me any comfort.  She also seems very young and couldn't do anything but state facts about genetic abnormalties - not only because of the heat, but also becuase of my age.  I need someone who is going to give me some comfort and reassurance.  Pregnancy is already stressful.  We want to do everything best for our babies.  I think I need someone who is going to help me focus on the positives of having a child, even at my age, not the negaitives.  I've tried so hard to be healthy myself with running, swimming, yoga....  Those are all good things.  I don't need someone making me feel like I could have damaged my child.  

Thanks again everyone.  It's great to read eveyone's responces.  That has given me some comfort.
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Avatar universal
And just another comment about making me feel like I could have damaged my child from exercising.  I mean, really, what about all the women that are drug additcs!!  And, continue to use drugs through their preganancy!  I've read horror stories about meth babies, babies born to mothers addicted to crack....  Really, if you think about it, coming down on me about exercising is a bit ridiculous!  I was trying to do something GOOD for myself.  I'm not addicted to drugs, mostly only drink on special occasions (and of course none now).  I'm 38 and in great shape.  Better shape now than I've ever been in my entire life.  There are so many worse things I could be doing.  I eat healthy, to the point I read food labels.  (Yes, I am that ONE in the grocery store looking out for hydrogenated oils....) I've been exercising regulary for 10 years.  I've completed two full marathons and two half marathons.  My general practisoner is always amazed at my checkups just how great of shape I am in.  My BMI is low, my heart rate and blood pressure are that of a strong athlete... I'm not trying to toot my horn hear, it just sux to try so hard to take care of yourself, work so hard to get in great shape, live the right life style... and then when I finally get married, get ready to have a baby, and get pregnant, my doctor has made me worry that the one thing that has been so beneficial to me, could have done serious damage to my child.  That puts an enormous guilt trip on me.  I wanna say "Come on woman!  I'm not on crack!!"

Thanks again everyone.  I just had to add another 2 cents.  The more I think about it, the more frustrated I become.
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951946 tn?1263565383
Seriously, Moonflower, I do not comprehend your doctor's comment about genetic abnormalities resulting from heat! From what I understand, the dna that comes together from the sperm and egg, which creates your baby's chromosomes, is all present at conception and cannot be altered by something like diet or exercise!

I strongly encourage you to find another doctor (or a midwife;)).

I recently switched midwives after just feeling that I was not in the right place-- I loved my midwife but I did not care for the other midwife in the practice, nor did I really connect with the other support staff. I finally decided that these are not the people I want around me when I deliver my baby. Now I'm with a practice that seems much more professional and "together"-- less loosey-goosey-- which is a much better fit for me. I feel more relaxed already!
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Avatar universal
You should sit back, enjoy your pregnancy and not worry anymore about what is done...you've stopped doing Bikram because that is what you feel is right for you now don't worry about it.  Welcome to motherhood, the worry doesn't stop once the baby is born so enjoy pregnancy and being a mother so that if something was to happen, you enjoyed each moment to the fullest. This way you can maybe relax a little and not worry about what may happen.  I'm sending you positive baby karma!!!
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Avatar universal
Well, I lost the baby this past weekend at 9 weeks. I'm devestated, heartbroken, and physically as well as emotionally drained. It was absolutly the most horrifying experience of my life.
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951946 tn?1263565383
Oh honey, I am so very sorry. :( It really is a horrifying experience and very draining. I'm sending you a big hug. I am terribly sorry for your loss and for what you are going through. I know what it is like, as do many women here, unfortunately. If you choose to try again, please know that this miscarriage does not mean anything about your future chances of conceiving again and having a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I am 38, lost a baby in April, and conceived again in late June. Please feel free to email me if you want. You are not alone, even though you may feel that way.
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Avatar universal
I can truly empathize with u. I am also a regular Bikram practitioner who became pregnant and practiced until I was 6wks along. I stopped because of nausea and fear. I miscarried about 1 week after I decided to leave the "hot room". I DO NOT believe that my Bikram practice had anything to do with my loss. I know that my body is conditioned and seasoned to the conditions. The ER dr that treated me during the loss assured me that early miscarriages happen as a result of DNA abnormalities, not due to anything that I did wrong. As mentioned above...DNA is predetermined prior to conception, not during a 90 min class. 25% or more of all "diagnosed" pregnancies end in miscarriage, so Bikram practitioners are bound to make up part of that demographic. Its a real shame that your so called educated "support" insinuated anything different. I have since returned to my practice and have found it to be extremely helpful in the healing process, both physically and emotionally. I have no definitive answers in regards to if the yoga "caused" either of our losses, but I do know that through my meditation and self-care, I can and have moved on; I believe that you can too. Feel and process what you need to for now, knowing that you are good inside and out. Try to relinquish control to your higher power and look within for guidance. You really do know what is right for you, just give yourself the chance to reconnect and listen. You are free to do what you need to do from here...

Namaste...Tara
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Avatar universal
I forgat to note that my date of miscarriage was Sept 13, 2009. I will remember that day always :(

I also forgot to mention that for those of us who are used to and in love with Bikram poses and don't want the speculative risk involved in practising in the heat while pregnant, Rajashree Choudry (Bikram's wife) has a great pregnancy DVD that you can do at home with modified poses. Your local Bikram studio can order it for you or you can get it on Bikram's website. I did it for a week while still pregnant and found the effort required was similiar to that of a mild-moderate "regular" Bikram class. And yes, I still managed to work up a sweat!
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Avatar universal
I have been practicing Anna Forest yoga for about 1.5 years, then this last summer started a hot yoga called Baron Baptiste. The classes are 60 minutes and the room is heated to 95. When I got pregnant I lowered my classes to once a week during the 1st trimester. Now that I am in my 2nd trimester, I upped my practice to 5x week (never missed a day for the last month) and will continue this until I my body says not to. At 4.5 months pregnant I have had almost no adverse physical or emotional symptoms of pregnancy. Yoga has only empowered me during pregnancy and I hope to continue it throughout the remainder of it. Of course I do all the modifications and drink a ton of water before, during and after classes.

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Avatar universal
Thanks for all your responces. It's been extremely difficult both phyically and emotionally. I have not returned to practise. It's been 4 weeks of hell on earth with bleeding and cramping almost nonstop. Let alone I'm extremly heartbroken.
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951946 tn?1263565383
I am so sorry Moonflower. I can so relate.
Every body is unique and what is safe and good for someone else may not apply to you or me. It is such a tough, tough lesson to learn. And it's important to be very kind to yourself in the process. You had every good intention in the world and there is no way of knowing if the hot yoga or anything else you did actually *caused* a m/c. The odds are that it was something wrong with the fetus that you had *no* control over.  

I hope you will be feeling better soon both physically and emotionally. It just takes time before the grief can shift into acceptance. So much of making peace with it is wrapped up in our spiritual beliefs so I won't presume to give any advice, but will just say I am thinking of you and my heart goes out to you.
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Avatar universal
Thank you.
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Avatar universal
Wow, this is a very emotional forum.  I was searching for "teaching hot yoga while pregnant" and found it.  First of all, I am very sorry for your loss, Moonflower, I know it's not easy.  The best thing you can do is take care of yourself right now however you know how, and be patient.  And make sure you're fully honest with yourself and the people you love about how much it's affecting you.  I recently miscarried also, and found that although it was hard for my husband also, it's just different as the person carrying the child - pregnant one day - and suddenly not the next.  It's pretty devastating.  

I wanted to share my experience with Bikram and pregnancy.  I am a Bikram instructor, recently certified.  I attended training for 10 months during April - June.  If you're unfamiliar with the training, it's pretty rigorous with two intense Bikram classes a day in a REALLY hot room.  I really wanted to go to training before I became pregnant, and I got married in August (2009).  Well, I took out my IUD before I went to training because it caused me to bleed so much during my period (copper IUD).  It just wasn't the easiest to practice during my period, and normally my period is pretty light.  Anyway, I came home and my now husband and I thought we were abstaining during my ovulation in July because we just wanted to get through our wedding and honeymoon, although we are very excited to start a family.  Well, nature has it's own plan and I got pregnant.

So, I didn't really think twice to continue practicing yoga, as I'd just been through such an intense training and my body was used to it.  And, since I was recently trained to teach, of course I wanted to jump into that to.  I do have another full time job so I wasn't teaching a ton or practicing a ton, either - I was teaching maybe 3 times a week and practicing the same, in addition to my other job, planning a wedding, etc.

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, 4 days before we got married.  It really sucked, to say the least.  My hcg and progesterone numbers were sketchy for a few weeks, so I kept having to have ultrasounds.  We saw the baby one day, with a strong heartbeat, normal size, good sac, etc., and then I miscarried the next.  What an emotional roller coaster.

Then we got married, had our honeymoon, really let loose, etc.  I came back and kept teaching and practicing.  I was so happy to have Bikram to help me move forward and recover, emotionally.

I am possibly pregnant again now - will know in a few days.  Since I ovulated, I've been scared to practice at all, so I haven't.  I just don't think I will during the first trimester.  As far as teaching, it doesn't really feel right, either, so if I find out I'm pregnant I will stop.

That's just my two cents.  I know tons of women who have been able to teach and practice all throughout their pregnancy, and I always thought I'd be one of them.  I'm very athletic, healthy, in good shape, yada yada.  But it's just not worth it to me - everyone is different, and every situation is different.  It just feels better to let it go for a few months.  My dog also really enjoys it... we've been having the best walks the last few weeks.

Sorry to ramble, but one last thing:  I know another instructor who had two miscarriages in a row (horrible), while teaching and practicing, and her doctor finally recommended to stay out of the hot room.  She is now 20 weeks pregnant.  :)  We were actually pregnant at the same time and she was a great support during my miscarriage.

Moonflower, good luck with your recovery during this tough time, and your decisions about this in the future.  There will be another pregnancy!
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951946 tn?1263565383
Very interesting perspective, and very honest. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing!! I am not a Bikram instructor but I am a certified yoga instructor (vinyasa and restorative yoga) with 13+ years of practice, and 6+ years in Bikram practice as well.

My humble opinion is that Bikram while pregnant is totally fine for some women and definitely not ok for others. I also believe that it has a lot to do with your endocrine system. For hypothyroid women like me, it can simply be too taxing for the body to keep up with the demands of hot yoga (which is amazing, cleansing and wonderful!), and making a baby at the same time. I had severe adrenal fatigue when I was tested. Even the owner of the Bikram studio where I practice said that SHE also had adrenal fatigue and that her naturopath said it was all the time she spends in that heated room.

I was volunteering one day per week at my Bikram studio when I miscarried. Ironically, most of the instructors were very defensive about the possibility that it could have had anything to do with the extreme heat, even though one of the instructors there had also miscarried. It was only the owner who privately admitted the possibility that the heat was not a great idea for me while pregnant.

Thank you AGAIN for such an honest post, I for one really appreciate it.
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Avatar universal
Hi!

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to go through what you have in the last couple of months. I hope that with the passage of a little time now that you are feeling more resourced and optimistic.

There are some beautiful and very helpful posts in here that reflect some important things many of which I would have posted had I seen this thread before (just a newbie here today).

I would like to say that if one's body is already accustomed to the heat and the series on becoming pregnant then that is generally enough for anyone to continue your practice.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach (to anything).

There are major rules for exercise during pregnancy:
>> Don't start anything new.
>> Do what feels right.

What I found really upsetting is that you were been subjected to quite a bit of scaremongering. It is not right for your doctor to have told you continually that there may be damage done. This seems an opinion borne out of ignorance - and not reason. I am sorry you were scarred (and scared) by this.

To reassure you (hopefully in some small way for the future) the most highly reputed obstetrician in my area says there is NO REASON not to do hot yoga for a pregnant woman. He is has been practicing for at least 30 years - not whom one would consider to have such modern views. He leaves the decision to his patients.

As other Bikram teachers have said: Miscarriages happen. They occur in a large proportion of pregnancies at different times. The rate reduces over the gestational term. The causes are many and varied.

There is NO ONE GROUP of women who are immune to miscarriages. We are human and very often we misread signs just in order to try to make sense out of them. The mind doesn't like things unresolved.

What I am saying is that despite your need to make sense of what happened be careful NOT to make a connection between women who practice this yoga or ride a bike or who _______ (insert sport or activity) based on the fact that one has met someone who miscarried (or if sadly, you also miscarried). You are not the reason, and most likely your activity was not the reason. It was a terrible setback for you and your dreams and I sympathize and empathize.

The fact that I had a wonderful pregnancy and have a beautifully health daughter as a result and that I practiced Bikram yoga almost the whole time (notice the word 'almost') has absolutely no bearing on the next woman or my next pregnancy (which won't happen because it can't).

It is definitely a contentious issue. I have answered many questions on this before and continue to participate in many discussions on it at the forum at www.hotyogadoctor.com.

I wish you love and joy and hope you can navigate your way through this experience with the support you need and with the peace in your heart and mind.

If I can help you at all, I will be happy to do so.

Namaste
Gabrielle :)
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Avatar universal
Hi.  It's been awhile since I've been on here.  I really appreciate all the support.  It's been rough.  It took over 6 weeks for my body "to process" the miscarriage, I develped an infection and had to take antibotics.  In December, another ultrasound showed yet sill remaining tissue and "products of conception."  I had switched doctors, and my new doctor was considering a d&c but hated to do it so late in the game.  I had to have another ultrasound in January, the kind where they use saline and a scope to get a better picture of my uterous.  All looks good, FINALLY.  But now the whole "trying again" is wearing on me.  I'm absolutly terrified.

And on top of all that, I'm having a very difficult time with pregnant friends / family.  They can be so inconsiderent.  My cousin in law announced thier big pregnancy Christmas Eve.  "They" started trying as soon as they found out we were pregnant.  Then we had our miscarriage.  It was really difficult becuase I would get weekly test from her saying "when did you first think you were pregnant" "could you tell you were pregnant before you took a test" "did you have a lot of CM before you found out you were pregnant" ... I had a feeling it was coming and sure enough on December 24th she calls me and wants to know when Chris and I are going to be at his grandmother's house becuase they have a BIG announcement THEY don't want us to miss....  I asked - you're pregnant, she says "YES!!  Aren't you excited for us???"  (AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!)  So we have to go to Christmas and watch the big to do, they made the announcement by giving bibs embroderied with "Greatgrandmother" "Grandpa" "Grandma".... on them.  It was all I could do not to absolutly break down in tears.  Then she has the nerve to send me a text the next week "Why are you not happy for me?  You don't talk to me now.  Is it becuase you are resentful of me becuase I'm pregnant?"....  Some people.

I know I'm way of subject from Bikram Yoga now, but today was more than I could bare.  We have lunch with the family the first Sunday of every month.  I was really dreading it and didn't want to go.  I even tried to make up the excuse to my husband that I really needed to work.... But he said his grandmother had called and was really missing us.  So I decided not to let seeing her growing belly keep me from spending time with my super sweet grammy in law.  But of course, as soon as we walk in the door, she's there and it's "Look! We have ultrasound pictures from 9 weeks and 12 weeks!!!!"  My heart nearly fell out on the floor. My husband too was heartbroken.  He took me outside and wanted to leave immediatly.  He said on the way home, he'd rather skip the family lunch and just go see his grandmother another day without the whole family get together.  

I wasn't resentful of her at first, but now I'm growing that way.  We've tried again and nothing.  I'll be 40 in November and I'm really having to face a reality that it may not happen again and it might really be too late.  How am I going to deal with this family situation?  I feel like the way she's handled it is so insensitive and inconsiderate.  Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I sure wouldn't flaunt my pregnancy in front of someone so soon after a miscarriage.  I could see if it had been years ago, but this soon?  The real frustrating part was that she didn't even want to get pregnant, until after she found out I was pregnant.  Then she said, "I HAVE to be pregnant too... and before Amanda..."  Another girl in our family who's trying to get pregnant.  She's "that" type.  Always has to be the center of attention.  She was angry at the other girl who got married one month before her becuase she would always "steal her thunder".  

Have any of y'all had to deal with anything like this?  Am I just a horriable person now because I absolutly want NOTHING to do with her?  Seeing her belly today felt as though someone was ripping my heart right out.  My husband and I want a baby so badly.  We're really at the end of our reproductive years and don't have long.  Months left really.  I'm afraid to keep trying after 40.  So we really now only have 9 more times to try.  I'm so sad.
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