Pregnant at 35 & Worried

[Loulou2276]

Hi,

I am 35 and pregnant.  I have been having a hard time getting past the fact that I am automatically considered high risk and honestly freaked out when told all the percentages of increased birth defects etc.

I had 2 children in my late 20's and just had no idea how the odds are stacked against us 35+.

I guess my question is....how have you all come to grips with this data? I am trying to relax, but can't seem to stay calm.

I haven't had any genetic  tests done yet.

Thanks for letting me vent. :)

[adgal]

Yes I did opt for amnio.  When I had my first trimester screen my odds of ds were 1:13.  I don't think I would have terminated...I went through an awful lot to carry a full term baby, but I did need to know for absolute certain.  I tend to be a worrier, and for me, knowledge is power.  So yes, I did do amnio.  If anyone has any questions on my experience with the procedure, I'm happy to answer them.

I am trying to have another child now.  I will be 43 in January.  Honestly, my only concern is the one Jo raised, just that it might be a bit tougher...more tired, etc.  But the rest...I just don't worry about it anymore.  I would do amnio again if the initial results warranted it, but again, for me that is mainly because I am that person who has to know.  

[JourneyJoJo]

Congratulations!  I had my first when I was 41.  The NT scan and screening results were good so they told me I didn't need an amnio unless I really wanted it.  I declined and delivered a healthy baby boy.  I am now 43 and almost 12 weeks pregnant.  My NT scan is on Thursday.  I declined the CVS as the only purpose I saw would be to abort the fetus should there be an abnormality.  We're keeping this baby no matter what.  Obviously my chances of having a baby with DS are much higher than others.  

The way I dealt with all of the stress around "advanced maternal age" in my first pregnancy was to ignore the statistics and stop searching the Internet looking for answers (which were always negative).  Instead, I went on the Medhelp community forum for women having babies the same month (where I met adgal) where the support was very positive and enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy.  

With respect to this pregnancy, it's a bit harder because I'm so much older.  The way I look at it, there are no guarantees in life so I can either get stressed out at what might happen or love the baby within for whomever they might be and deal with whatever issues if/when they arise.  Life is too short to create stress where there may not be need for any.

Best of luck.

[miragrby]

hi Adgal, did you make amniocentesis?

[adgal]

Congrats on your pregnancy!  And no, you are not considered high risk.  What they do offer once we hit 35 is more testing if you want it.  However, it is still highly unlikely there will be any problems.  You are just on the cusp of what is considered "advanced maternal age".

I had a healthy baby boy just before I turned 41.  There are lots of us here who did the same thing.  How did I deal with the stats?  I put them into perspective.  For example, they told me that based on age alone I had a 1:100 chance of having a baby with downs syndrome.  Well, that is 1%.  I felt pretty good about that.  If you really look at what the numbers mean, you will find that really, your odds of something going wrong just aren't that high.  It's just not a big deal anymore to do this..there are lots of us out there.  And if anyone gives you any flack about it...send them to this forum, and we'll set them straight!!  Seriously, enjoy this pregnancy.  For me, having a baby when I did was a wonderful decision and I don't regret it for a second!  As for the stats...they are just that, stats.  I have been on this forum for 4 years now, and I know 1 women over 35 who had a baby with downs syndrome.  Every time we choose pregnancy, we roll the dice a little bit.  You will be offered additional screening to ensure all is well.  I kinda think that's a bonus.  We get to see our little one's more often!  Congrats again, and don't worry.  Chances are better that all will be fine then that it won't.  

[stacey10]

dont let them rail-road you into believing that your high risk, sure you should look after yourself while being pregnant but every pregnant women should. Yes you are at a slightly higher risk of their being some abnormalities with bub, but at 35 the chances are still quite low,  I have had 4 children since I hit 37, the last one in may and I'mm 44. I have had no problems with either my pregnancies, births or babys birth weight. I did have 2 miscarriages inbetween my 3rd and 4th but that would be due to egg age. Be positive, my n/t scan was 1/800 this time and with my 3yr old it was 1/600 so it actually got better :)

[Sixplus1]

Hi I just see being 35 and older being more educated about your body. To me someone 35 takes care of ther body a little somewhat better that a 20 year old. I had a baby in my 20's as well. I think I got more lip form family about being 35 and pregnant then the doctor. I just pray and keep going. At the end of the day its my life, God will protect us, 20 or 40. All your tests will come out great!

CongratsThink positive dont let those negative thoughts get the best of you.