TTC and need advice PLEASE!

[cleopatrauno]

Hi Everyone!  I am a newbie and am looking for some advice.  My husband and I just started trying, on and off since July 2008.  Main issue a couple of months ago was I was taking a few courses and very stressed out with exams and all.  We were having sex only around ovulation time like 2-3 times for the month then nothing until the next month.  

I have had a m/c before in my early 20's so I know it's not that I can't get pregnant at all.  We tried around my ovulation time and a few months ago I knew I was ovulating was because of my CM.  I am getting very anxious and upset, frustrated because it's not happening fast enough.  I'm 36 years old and I feel very old (no offence to anyone) I just have back problems and depression.  
This may sound like a silly question but here goes...question is, how often should we have sex in a month?  

Thanks in advance to all that reply.  Any other advice is greatly appreciated.  I am officially driving my husband NUTS!  :)


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[kiaragirl]

we breed miniatures horses and a stallion can service several mares every day so that makes sense to me adgal!!

[adgal]

I read an article on line about the every day/every other day argument.  I wish I had bookmarked it so I could find it again, but it essentially said that experts used to believe every other day was better, but that has proven to be false.  They now believe every day is better during fertile periods.  It said that the amount of sperm lost from every day is so minimal, it makes no difference at all.    We always use the every day method, and I have been pregnant 4 times in the last year..and I'm going to be 40 in January.

Good luck.

[brooklyn_gal]

Hi.  When we first tried to TTC, I was 36 as well.  At that time, my OB/GYN said to do BD on Day 10, 12, 14, 16, and 18.  

Her observation was that "older" ladies like us tend to conceive in the latter days.. but who knows?

In the meantime, you and your DH should get tested. Sperm Analysis, hormone level, tube blockage, etc.  

Good luck!

[kiaragirl]

How do you know which days to do it when its every other day?? I have read that as you get older the sperm may only live 8 - 12 hours so you have to catch the egg in a very short time span?? Anyone else heard this??

[rosie71]

Hi there, sorry for your frustration, we all can sympathize on this forum. I am an "oldie" like you (37) and nearly 20 wks pregnant with my first. Have had 2 m/c in the past though and when I eventually stopped taking the pill, I did not realise how hard it could be.  Fortunately for myself and hubby, all 3 times didn't take that long, but we just couldn't hold onto 2 of them. As far as when to have sex, I can only go on my own experience, but I know that some months we could have sex every day and NOTHING, yet the month we conceived, we only did it about 3 times in 2 weeks so it was totally unexpected when I found out I was pregnant.  A lot of people will say every day and some will say every second day as the sperm will be a lot stronger, therefore, be able to move better to get to the egg. I tend to agree with that theory. Good luck with the TTC and hope you get your BFP soon!!

[LuvAbaby]

I'm 35 and I also feel "old" but we really aren't :) First, good luck TTC and yes, it is very frustrating waiting each month. I believe that it is best to start having sex around cycle day 10 and continue through day 16 (for a typical 28 day cycle). I try my best to have sex every day during that week.  I started having to be more subtle with my hubby because he said he felt like a strange science experiment. LOL. I have read though that if the man has lower sperm count then it is best to do every other day. It has worked for me both times trying, but unfortunately, both pregnancies were not viable. I'm not giving up yet though!