Want another Baby

[FebruaryBaby]

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while. I am 38 and I want another baby so badly. I have a 15 month old baby boy, Ethan. He is so precious and everything I ever wanted. My hubby and I got married late in life. I don't want my son to be an only child, but my hubby will not agree to have another baby. He doesn't say no, but he gives me all the reasons not to.  ANy idea? This has actaully got my heart hurtin over it

[FebruaryBaby]

Thanks for the comments and advice. I will not give up on trying to have another baby. My Hubby knows that and he knows that this is not fair to me. Before we married he always said a couple of kids and I never made a secret that I wanted more than one.  

[melimeli]

try talking to him... you could agree on doing an amnio... but you really both have to agree to have another one... it is only fair...

[jbrooks39]

i am 39 and TTC our 4th!!! after our son was born 15 yrs ago we thought we were done,,,,hubby had a vasectomy... my biological started ticking and guess what??? we are TTC using donor sperm...i do not feel old at all.if i could pick an age that i feel it would be 25,,,we cannot wait to get pregnant...life is easier as you get older,less stress,more patience,more time..we cannot wait...hope you can talk your hubby into one more..you can take folic acid to help with growth of baby (it doesnt prevent downs but it does help avoiding it if possible) i also take geritol complete vitamin,been taking them for a year now,good luck to you..

[Tanker Chic]

I have a friend who is an only child and one day she said to me, "you know, the relationship you have with your sister is the longest relationship you will have in your life."  It really hit home with me and made me realize how important our siblings really are.  To me that trumps any/all other reasons for not doing it.  

DH and I also met late in life. I'm 37 (just turned) and he is 39.  We've been married for 2 years and our son is 2 months old.  We are going to start trying for #2 when jacob is 6 months old.  

[adgal]

Sounds like fear to me, and its completely understandable.  I am 39, and we are still working on our first.  My husband was also a bit apprehensive at first, and when I finally dragged it out of him, I found out is was also for similar reasons.  I went for a complete physical (much like you did) before we started trying.  I convinced my husband to come with me, and the Dr. explained all the possiblities, odds, etc.  He also explained the different tests we can do at various stages to check for things.  Of course there is never a 100% guarantee, but it sure went along way in making him feel more comfortable.  He is now just plain excited about the idea of becoming a dad.  If your husband is willing, try getting him to visit the Dr. with you.  As for the financial end of it, having a little guy now gives you lots of hand me downs for the new baby, so the strain shouldn't be as high?

But you are definately not to old.  Having children in our late 30's,40's is so common now.  We are living longer and healthier lives, and in my case anyway, I am far more prepared emotionally to settle down, give up all the nights out, etc. then I would have been earlier in life (not a stab at all at those of you that had children younger, thats just me personally.  I was far to selfish then.)

Good luck to you.  I hope all works out for you.

[FebruaryBaby]

He says, cost of things going up (but he is administration in an High SChool) I mean I can't get no assistance for anything and I dont work so I buy the money thing. I personally think he is scared, scared to death. We didn't plan our son, he just (THANK GOD) happened.   He couldn't get happy until I went in at my 5th month and they did an ultrasound telling us he was forming good and healthy. I think he is afraid it will have Down SYndrome or something like that. Everyone says that because of my age I am to old. I went to the doctor for a check up last month and he told me I was perfectly healthy and gave me a 99% chance of having another healthy baby. Still hubby is like he is running scared.  He won't talk about it much but when I get him to talk I can tell he keeps saying, how are we doing Ethan a favor if we have a baby that is sick and he will have to take care of when we die. (he really makes me feel old and ready for the grave)

[pcarsey]

Has he ever told you why he doesn't want another one? My sister was 38 when she had my niece and her husband doesn't want her to have any more either because he said it took a toll on her health. She developed heart problems during pregnancy and he's afraid it will do more harm. This could be something similar to what your husband is feeling! Talk to him and find out why he feels this way...

I wish you luck!!! I know what it's like to want another one!!! Mine isn't even here yet and I KNOW I'm going to have another! Just hopefully not 10 years between this one and my next one..lol

GOOD LUCK!!