When should we tell our friends and family that we are pregnant?

[wakejl]

When should we tell friends and family about our pregnancy?
Hi Ladies! I'm 7 weeks pregnant, and my DH and I are trying to decide when we should tell friends and family about it. My parents are the only ones who know at this point.

So, I'm conducting an informal poll. Here it is:

If you were in the early stages of pregnancy, when would you tell your friends and family about it?
a) After a healthy 7-week ultrasound with a strong heartbeat
b) After a healthy 9-week ultrasound with a strong heartbeat
c) At 10 weeks
d) At 12 weeks
e) Other (please specify)

Any comments are welcome, too. Bring it on, girls!

[kelstar72]

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I have only just realised, it is so very sad.

x

[Lawafer]

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart truly goes out to you both. MANY HUGS TO YOU!!!

[Birds71]

Just saw this...I am so sorry.  There will be a next time!  And I am the same way...after losing two pregnancies, lips are sealed until after 13 weeks.

Sending lots of hugs your way!

[nextgen901]

I am so sorry...wish you fast recovery.

[adgal]

I posted on your journal as well, but just wanted to say again how very sorry I am.  I wish you peace and healing.  

[wakejl]

Just to follow up: I'm glad that I took everyone's advice and waited to tell family and friends. We lost the heartbeat at 9 weeks. So much easier to just tell everyone that I was sick this week.
If we get pregnant again, I'll definitely wait until after 13 weeks, as I had decided to do this time.

[Kricket212]

I will be 8 weeks on thursday.  We however are chooseing to wait until 12 weeks.  We will tell the family at Easter. :-)
What a happy time to share the news.

[Ecologic]

I always told my mom right after the pee test! Some friends as well, but after my miscarriages, I got more careful and would only tell them after hearing the heartbeat. For my colleagues: I told them after 16 weeks.

[adgal]

It's always such a personal decision.  Even though I have had so much dissapointment with failed pregnancies I always seem to tell everyone (and yep, I mean everyone...the checkout person at the grocery store, strangers on the street..lol) the second I get that second pink line.  I can't help it, I always get so excited.  The next time around (hopefully there will be one), DH has asked me to wait until after the first ultrasound at least, although his preference is after first trimester.  Not sure I can keep it in that long, but I will try.

I think everyone just needs to do what they feel comfortable with.  Good luck!

[Kathy421]

We went thru IVF, so my parents knew immediately with the first beta results.  We didn't tell my husband's family until 10-12 weeks, and friends after 20 weeks.  I am 43 and wanted to make sure all was good.  We now have a healthy 11 week old baby boy!

[kelstar72]

Hey Congratulations!!! I'm not sure what to say really I am equally dying to tell people and I'm only 5.5 wks so I will be bursting by ur stage!! I guess it's your call, just tell those closest to you I think!!

Good Luck!!!!!!

[krichar]

E) other! I am not the best person to ask...lol!! We have had some hard times so this time around we waited till 20 weeks to spill the beans. We had a few people that knew before but not many!

[ChristineMP]

I am 41, have had one very early miscarriage when I was 17 and went on to have two healthy children in 1990 and 1992 without incident. I am now about 5 weeks pregnant and we started telling people (our other children, our parents, closes friend) a few days after our home test was positive.

I think if I had had a problem carrying to term, I might wait...but until I started reading this message board I never thought it was an issue...reading so many stories of miscarriages has made it a concern.

On the other hand, both my grandmothers had children when they were 40 and my great-grandmothers also. Women in my family tend to start menstruating late but go through menopause later also...so I am hoping my 41 is more like 35 for most women :)

Christine

[Raleighite]

I personally wouldn't tell everyone, just my family and closest friends (the ones that can keep a secret anyway...) until about week 10.  Here is the best advice I heard:  "

"Tell those that you would tell you had a miscarriage."

I wanted to tell my sister first, but she was out of the country.  So, we waited a few days and told her and her husband when they returned on a Friday.  We planned on telling our parents and the rest of our family over that same weekend.  Saturday I miscarried.  Then we had to tell the bad news to our families.  It would have been easier for me to let them rejoice with us first, even if it was only a few days.  If that makes any sense?  Although, they have been very supportive even though they only found out the sad news.  

[Jackie0313]

You should tell everyone when you feel comfortable.  We said we were going to wait till 12 weeks but around 10.5 weeks and a few ultrasounds (because of my age) we couldn't hold it in.
Ideally, we wanted to wait till we got our 1st Trimester Screening Results.  I too, have a history of miscarriages so we bit our tongues the best we could.

Congratulations!  Have a H&H pregnancy!

[mollyma]

I have trouble keeping this news to myself. Plus, with pregnancy number 3, I looked pregnant pretty early. PLUS saying "no" to a glass of wine is out of character for me. So mostly friends started to guess by 10 weeks or so. I didn't announce it all at once... the news sort of tricked out as people inquired.

[Sheaby]

We made the mistake of telling EVERYONE when we got pregnant last year - only to have to turn around and tell everyone that our angel grew wings at 8 weeks.  Everyone is different - I know people that have announced it at 4 weeks, some that have waited until 12 weeks, and some that waited until they knew the sex.  It all depends on what you are comfortable with.  Congratulations, and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!

[shuga1109]

I didn't tell anyone at all last year.  But only because I had complications from week 5 through week 11.  We decided not to tell anyone until after 12 weeks just in case, and we are glad we didn't because it ended up in a miscarriage at 11 weeks.  BUT.....this is a joyous time for you and its wonderful news.  Seems like everything is right on target and you have your strong heartbeat!  If you don't have any issues, hey, spread the wonderful news!  But, with my experience, personally I would wait until at least week 11-12.  Good luck and congratulations!