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Pregnancy 35 and Older Community
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704947 tn?1228710363

how old is too old?

hELLO, im 41 yr old divorcee, after two years of single life I found a wonderfull men, he is 10 years younger and w out children, he would like a child w me...now...how old it too old and WHY?? THANKS SO MUCH.
LORCA
11 Responses
503649 tn?1304361066
I'm not sure how old is too old... But, I was kinda in your shoes.  I was with my daughter's father for 13 year (never married him though).  We split up and I met the man of my dreams.  I was 38 and he was 40.  He was never married either and never had any children.  I truly fell in love with this man and he asked me if I wanted to have another child, and I told him I would def try with him.  Well after 4 miscarriages and 3 operations, I'm now 36w3d pregnant and can't wait to bring his first son into this world.  I will be 41 at delivery.  Do I think I'm too old?  I'll answer that when my son turns 2.  Good luck to you and follow your heart and your dream and if it doesn't happen right away, don't give up because it will happen, you may need to see an RE for a little bit of help.

Best of luck to you!
Debbie
231441 tn?1333896366
If you are healthy and still having regular periods there is no reason not to go for having a baby.  If you are not having regular periods then go see a reproductive endocrinologist and they can help you get started on making that baby.

there are women in their mid 40s here on this forum having babies, so you are among the younger ones here. :)

If you try to a few months and no success, do go see a RE earlier than later.  The general rule of try to 1 year before getting assistance doesn't apply for older ladies.

I am 38 and will have my first in about 2 months.  I plan for another 1 or 2 after this, so definitely I'll be about your age when going for my second or third.

How old is too old?  When you don't want any more children.  When you have passed through menopause.  Though menopausal women have gotten pregnant using donor eggs....

Best wishes
254689 tn?1251183640
Everything Super_sally said.  Let me add - you have to remember how old you want to be when raising teens.  Plus there's always the energy level thing but most women 40+, as long as they're healthy, do just fine.

At 40+, three months of trying is the general rule before seeing a doctor.  If no success, bypass the ob/gyn and go straight to a fertility specialist (reproductive endocrinologist) like Sally said.  Good luck w/your decision - jen

384150 tn?1399908416
I concieved for the first time at 40 and gave birth to my healthy DD at 41.  
I was never ready to have a baby before then, because I had never met anyone I loved enough to be a parent with and who was capapble of being a good father for life.  That happened when I turned 40.

The only thing I can say is that I found 18-24 months ( toddler),a very difficult time being 40+, but it may be difficult no matter how old you are.  Toddlers are tough!
If you really want a baby - see your RE/OBgyn now and geta move on. :)
Lisa
480331 tn?1310407129
Hi Lorca, I think, I'm not positive, that I may be the oldest on this forum that just got a BFP! (Amanda, am I right?) I just turned 45 on Nov 26th...so, I would say age is just a number and frame of mind.  I delivered a perfectly healthy beautiful boy at 43.  So, you will see by scanning many of these posts you are among many women in their late 30's and 40's trying for their 1st, 2nd and 3rd children, and some even more!  Now's the time!  Best of luck TTC and please keep us posted!  Pam
377493 tn?1356505749
Your too old when you feel your too old!!  I will be 40 next month and am still trying for the first, similar reasons to Lisa.  I also didn't really think I wanted children until just a few years ago. That has changed dramatically.  Even if your body doesn't co operate fully on its own anymore, there is intervention...it depends on how far you are willing to go.  I fully intend to follow in Pamela's footsteps, as we would very much like 2 if possible (and yes Pam, I think your the oldest lady currently to get a BFP!!!!)

Its entirely up to you.  Although I'm having a bit of tougher time then if I had done this in my 20's or early 30's, I really don't have a lot of regrets about waiting.  This is a better time in my life to make this decision.

All the best of luck to you!!!
667409 tn?1309155783
I think too old is when you're not physically or emotionally prepared to deal with raising a child anymore. For some people, that's 35. For others, it's 50. It's such a personal and individual thing, there's no magical age that's "too old." a few years ago, I swore I'd never have another child. I was raising my kids alone (my choice), and was right in the thick of my daughter's horrid teen years...lol. But, a year ago I met the man I've been waiting for all my life. He's six years younger. And here I am six weeks pregnant! So...I said all that to say this - if you and your partner think now is the time, then you should go for it!

Tricia
693804 tn?1304724074
I'm 41years "young" with 3 children. I got pregnant at 40 but lost my son. My other kids are 21, 20 and 11 and im eager to get pregnant again. My OB feels that there is no reason why I should not try again. I can say that Pam is an inspiration to all of us ttc. Hopefully soon we will be sharing our BFP"s with everyone!!

                                              Best to you!
                                                   Lori
690327 tn?1255358111
Hello,
As long as you LOVE children, and always want that "baby" you are not too old. I thought I would never quit wanting a baby. I had very few people make stupid remarks, but some did, to those, I say, I had the best of both worlds, something you have never had! At an extremely early age I had two stairstps baby boys, and at the age of 44 I finally after trying for nine years, got pregnant with a beautiful baby boy I delivered him three weeks early,weighing in at eight pounds and healthy! He was beautiful. We wanted to have another shortly after he was born, but, we felt we would go on and devote all of our love, and givings to just him and his education. Right now, I would love to adopt a little chinese girl, I had all boys! But, at this point, we have a new Grandbaby, by our baby boy, who is now 19 and we have three stairstep American Bulldog Puppies, and lots going on in our life, so we will stick with our babies being our Bulldogs for now. Never let anyone say anyting to you about being "too old to have a baby!". Now, if you were tired, and close to seventy or eighty, maybe you might think twice then! HA! No, really, GOOD LUCK! hugs, Chrystal  PS, I delivered him at the age of 45.
Avatar universal
Hello,
Well I don't think I'm too old to try and I'm a year older than you!

I'm healthy and active and I haven't seen any changes to my energy level since my early '30s.  (early '20s is an entirely different matter - I don't know how I managed to pull 48 hour all nighters back then:)

I'm trying for my first baby.  Yes, if I am blessed to have this child, I will be an older mom when she/he is a teenager.  But I look around me at the people I know in their '50s and it doesn't scare me.  I truly do believe that exercise is a magic elixir and is what keeps me young.

It is harder, however, to maintain a healthy pregnancy.  Miscarriages are far more common for women who are older.  These things were never discussed when I was younger and I truly didn't realize the ramifications.  But having said that, I look back to my younger years and I wasn't emotionally or financially ready to start a family.  Now I am.  And that's just the way it is!

698538 tn?1228126579
I don't know how old is 'too' old, but my pastors wife gave birth to a beautiful healthy little girl a couple of months ago at the age of 46.  Because of this, my husband and I are ttc.  I let fear stop me because of all the statistics, but then everyone I personally have talked to have BEAT the statistics, so they don't seem so reliable to me.  Also, I was embarrassed to admit that at my age I wanted to be a 'mom' again.  Not anymore!  If I can have a baby at my age...WHOO-HOO!  If not...well...THEN I will happily enjoy the grandbaby we have on the way, and let that be my 'baby blessing'.  I know God is Good ALL the time...I will pray that He blesses you and your 'happily ever after Prince Charming'  with a bundle of joy that represents the best of both of you!  Good Luck!  Tammy
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