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Avatar universal

inconsiderate spouse

Anyone else dealing with an inconsiderate spouse? I swear, things just go right over his head...he knows I'm uncomfortable, can hardly walk, due to all the pressure and pain, yet he comes home and while I'm already having a hard time sleeping (which he knows), he has the t.v. turned up to the point I can't even try to doze off...i ask to turn it down he turns it down 1 notch...he can't do anything for himself, so its like I have 4 kids soon to be 5...I really get no help from him, I just want to cry. He doesn't lift a finger to help with anything in the house, he just walks over things, even though I'm suppose to be off my feet as much as possible...just so frustrating...and if I say anything to him he gets butt hurt...ok sorry, I'm done ranting
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Avatar universal
Man i personally never had that problem but my sisters sure have. Maybe because i was 16 when i had my first daughter and my husband was 18 and both sets of parents made it clear that they would not help at all. So everything has always been 50/50.  And for both pregnancies after he pucked up my slack because he knew i couldnt keep up as much. And this is my forth baby and i think hes scared this time because o the miss haps with my last ppregnancys. But like i told him. Im pregnant not broken
Helpful - 0
7385901 tn?1402928016
Ladies I know what you mean. The other day I came home and my husband picked up the entire house, did dishes, laundry and even swept and mopped the freaking floors!

I was dumb founded. lol
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7128540 tn?1399083912
I actually did something similar to what @JessicaAgrella is mentioning above. My grandmother gave me the advice during my first pregnancy and I must say my hubby has changed soo much. Even my mother in law is surprised- he was the type that just walked into a room and demanded what he needed (sock, boxers, etc.) and definitely didn't bother to hang the towel he used after showering. My frustration was over the top- then I decided to get a break and stay at my mom's, that's when my grandmother passed her advice. He has been continously changing. Just last night he washed all the laundry and cleaned our room top to bottom. I really hope things get better with him. ;)
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Avatar universal
Never thought of it like that I'll have to give it a try !
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7385901 tn?1402928016
I know this might be hard but maybe you should try to stop doing everything.

For example: Ask him to do something for you. Men need to a manual for house work for some reason. (But will tell you its basic and a lot less harder then whatever they are doing or their job, right ladies?) Don't expect him to jump up and do it - because he won't. If he doesn't complete the task, sit him down and have a talk with him. Think of some things to do around the house that need to be done in order for him to stay on routine - like his work clothes need to be washed, or maybe skimp on doing the dishes one night but make sure what he needs isn't washed (LOL) Or make sure the kids are fed and let him feed himself. He is a grown man, he is more than capable of taking care of himself.

Tell him you will not do these things anymore. You have asked for his help more than enough. Your state of being right now can not be cluttered with stress because you can not get help doing little things like house work. So make it where what he needs isn't done! Inform him that until you get help with the things you need to be done, the things he requires for his routine will not be done.

I used this trick with my husband and now I get all the help I need with half the complaining.  :)
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Avatar universal
Lol, thanks ladies...I'm trying to just focus on what needs to be done around the house and what needs to be done before the baby gets here as much as possible, with not being able to get around as easily right now.
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Avatar universal
I hate it when he tells me that I'm ONLY upset because I'm hormonal! I just wanna scream I am upset that you are a huge tool!
Helpful - 0
7757724 tn?1396279586
I know how you feel, I am a stay at home mom/wife. My husband doesnt realize how much work I do everyday and it often goes unappreciated, I have kept the house clean and the laundry done and thats a lot for me right now. I also take care of our one year old daughter all by myself, which I dont mind at all! I am just saying I feel like Im unappreciated all the time. He is also insensitive, Like sometimes I do not feel like having sex but he wants it constantly and I feel like its all he talks about to me. Im 27 weeks pregnant. So I am not really in the mood for it at all. He is always in his cell phone and laptop and its just so annoying and frustrating. But thats just how most men are! They are the biggest wimps when it comes to there little pains like stomach aches and such... but have no idea how uncomfortable it is just to be pregnant! But atleast they gave us our wonderful babies (: lol
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Avatar universal
Men suck sometimes. Ask him what he would do if you weren't there? But all those kids were. Ugh their
Soo nervey. Good luck luck BTW its almost over. That's what I keep telling myself anyway lol.
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Avatar universal
Omg oh hell no I would take my kids and go by my mom until I have the baby because if he is doing this now just picture when the baby actually comes ...
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Avatar universal
Thats terrible. Do u have a family member that can talk to him? Maybe a male member if possible to rattle him
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Avatar universal
Maybe write him a note. It says what you are feeling without emotion so he can hear it. It also allows him time to process what you are saying before becoming defensive. Its a way to say what you need to without a fight
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Avatar universal
I know the feeling.  I'm sure its hard, but stay strong. Hopefully he will fall in soon. I just got to the point where I was fed up. Enough talking, crying, etc, but just take into account that we are quite emotional at this point and sometimes you have to just relax instead of focusing more on what he's not doing and how inconsiderate he is being for the sake of YOUR BABY, HEALTH, AND SANITY. Again I know its hard, but smile and relax. Everything will be alright!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry to hear that I am 36 weeks too,  and so tired my whole body hurts and my hubby he is just plain Lazy too.. I am lucky my parents help me.alot and my 2 kids are big enough to help themselves. I still have days where i wish he would just diappear..Lol!
Helpful - 0
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