m/c at 14.5 weeks, so confused

[natalie910]

I was 16.5 weeks pregnant and had some previous problems at about 8 weeks. There was an area of the placenta that had come unattached or torn. I had several ultrasounds, the last ultrasound was at 12 weeks. The tearing had healed quite a bit and the baby was doing fine, strong heartbeat, great size etc. I was told everything would be fine. I went in for my regular checkup at 16.5 weeks and the Dr. could not find the heartbeat. I was sent in for an ultrasound only to find the baby had lost life probably at around 14.5 to 15 weeks. I have had 3 healthy, normal pregnancies and I am wondering what are the chances of having a full term pregnancy. My husband and I want to try again but I don't want to go through another m/c. Should I go to an OB dr that specializes in high risk pregnancies?

[natalie910]

Thank you for the advice. I will see th dr. on Feb.19 so maybe she will have some answers, maybe not. I am coming to accept the fact that these things happen but it is still so fresh, it will be a week tomorrow. If the dr. gives us the ok, I will wait for 2 or 3 months to give myself time to heal phisically and mentally, I am 38 so I don't want to wait too long. We wanted another so i don't want to give up. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't chance it but then I feel awful. The thought of having another makes me feel much better but then the worry starts to set in. I'm just wondering if I should see a specialist. My dr. delivered our son and everything was fine but when I had the initial tear or detachment of the placenta, I was not put on bed rest. Maybe that wouldn't have helped. If I see a specialist maybe I won't be so nervous b/c I'll be seen more often. I didn't get a chance to see our baby, I don't even know if it was a boy or girl, I will ask at my dr visit. I was on stadall when I delivered so I was really out of it. My husband and I regret not looking at the baby but I was scared the image of him/her would stay in my mind, at this point there is nothing I can do about that decision. I do know my baby has a soul and I will see him/her again. Thanks again and good luck to you!

[mandy38]

I lost my last baby at 20 wks, but the bay had died at 16 wks ( not that I knew) so I know what you are going through!  I had all the same fears you are having and all the grief that goes with it.  The way I came to terms with it was by having a burial and a remembrance plaque, so I have somewhere for me and the family to visit and just time helped the healing.  We also have pictures of her.  That was in 2006 and I am now 27 wks pregnant, but I worry everyday that something might go wrong, so the fear never leaves you.  I also had 3 children,  prior to losing the baby, so sometimes it's just happens for no apparent reason.  Your loss, I would presume is related to the problems you had with the placenta, something out of your control, so don't blame yourself.  My greatest advice would be don't rush into having another baby, take the time to grieve and get yourself physically and mentally better and then let it happen.  Good luck!!

[adgal]

Oh please do not do that to yourself.  Trust me, it was nothing you did or ate!!  I promise you!  Sadly there are women in this world who will do everything they shouldn't do during pregnancy...heavy drugs, heavy drinking, etc. and still have full term babies.  They are not born healthy, but they still are born.  Every women that miscarries wonders and worries about what we did, but I absolutely guarantee, it was nothing you did or could have prevented.

Your fear to try again is also very very normal.  Take the time you need to heal emotionally, and make sure you are doing some extra special things for yourself.  I would encourage you not to hold in the emotions...I found this site a very safe place to vent and cry, the support was amazing!  We are here to support you as well.  All of us have either had trouble conceiving, experienced miscarriage, or just plain had a rough time during the pregnancy.  We do understand!  Take good care.  Amanda

[natalie910]

Thanks you both for your words of advice and encouragement. I am so glad I found this forum, I think it will be helpful. My Dr. did send in a portion of the placenta for testing. As far as any testing for me or the baby, she hasn't said she wanted to do any yet. Since I have had 3 healthy children I am just in shock that this happened. We were so excited and we had gotten over the initial scare. I have no idea what could have happened to the baby, I was so careful and really took it easy, my husband helped with the 3 children and actually helped with the housework so I wasn't over-doing it. I keep trying to go through the last few weeks thinking about what I did or possibly ate but I can';t think of anything that would have harmed our baby. I suppose it is normal to try and think of a reason but I have to stop b/c it is very stressful. This is so fresh since it just happened on Wed. the 4th of Feb. We really wanted one more but now I am so scared to try, we have no problem conceiving but now I feel like I will be a nervous wreck since we have experienced the loss.

[adgal]

I am so very very sorry for your loss.  I know how confusing and painful this can be.  I have never experienced 2nd trimester miscarriage, only 1st trimester.  I can tell you that 2nd trimester is quite rare.  As for the cause, well only your OB can really answer that, and I hope you get some answers.  As for it happening again, it's unlikely.  Your chances of a second miscarriage, particulary 2nd trimester are not higher then they were the first time (less then 1%), unless there was an actual cause for it.  I am assuming they are going to do some testing on the fetus and on you?

I wish you well, and will keep you in my thoughts.  Again, I am so very sorry.

[PamelaBee]

Hello and welcome to the forum.  First let me say how very sorry I am to hear you experienced a loss at 16.5 weeks.  I  personally have never experienced a miscarriage, but I know they can happen at anytime. When I hear that they happen at your stage of pregnancy, it reminds me to never take a pregnancy for granted, at anytime, as I am 15 wks pregnant now, and the thought crosses my mind every single day, so again, I am truly sorry this happened to you.  There are many women on this site that will be able to give you much better advice and insight based on their personal experience.  I wish you best wishes and much luck conceiving again.  Take Care