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1278097 tn?1325611497

sex during pregnancy

Hi, I'm 34 and have 4 children(3 of them I gave birth to, one of them is my stepdaughter). Any way, I'm 6 weeks pregnant! This came as a surprise to my finance and myself. I was on the pill and took anti-biotics and discovered I was pregnant 4 weeks later. Since we found out that we are pregnant my hunny doesn't want to make love any more... he says he is not in the mood, that he just found out that we are pregnant when I was on the pill and that he isn't ready yet to be intamite. I feel rejected and like he is blaming me for the surprise addition to the family. He says that he is okay with the pregnancy even though he didn't want any more but I'm really scared that our relationship won't ever be the same. Any thoughts on how I can help him come to terms with the pregnancy?
Best Answer
377493 tn?1356502149
In my opinion, this is one of those things he needs to come to terms with on his own.  I think for most men, hearing the words "I am pregnant" does not necessarily translate into "this is my child" right away.  They don't carry so it's not the same emotion for them. Our pregnancy was very planned, and it was still sureal to my husband for the longest time.  If this is a surprise pregnancy then it's probably even harder.  I would try to get him as involved as possible...attending Dr. appointments, ultrasounds, etc.  I would bet that once he see's those images and you start to show he will get excited about it.  I doubt he is blaming you....after all, it does take two doesn't it.  He is probably just in shock right now.  Congratulations and I wish you a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.
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317019 tn?1532965586
he is in shock...when i first got preg i was the one who did not want to have sex...it is a difficult time especially when it is unplanned....since you are so early in your preg i would say give it some time and give him some space...he will come around

congrats on the preg
Helpful - 0
127124 tn?1326735435
I agree with the others.  Give him some time to get used to the idea.  
Helpful - 0
377493 tn?1356502149
Aww, the worry that comes with every pregnancy.  Your OB will let you know about any impact taking the pill may have had, but as you found out early and stopped, I would think it's probably going to be fine.  As for Autism, the fact that your fiance's brother has it does not increase your babies chances.  I looked into that when I was pregnant as I have an autistic cousin.  If you or your fiance had a child that was autistic they often start testing earlier, but so far there doesn't seem to be an increased risk when it's extended family.  I am glad your getting excited about your new baby...all will be well I am sure.  Good luck and I hope you hang around and let us know how things are going!!
Helpful - 0
1278097 tn?1325611497
You are both are likely right. I geuss I'm still feeling insecure and uncertain about the whole situation too. I'm not sure how things are going to pan out financially and I am concerned that taking the pill the whole first month of pregnancy might not have been safe for the baby.  There is also the fear that this child could possibly be autistic because the baby's dad has an autistic 1/2 brother.  lol I geuss when I put it that way I can see why he isn't interested in sex right now. We both have alot to think about.... Either way a child is always a blessing and to be honest I'm starting to get excited about this new little bundle ;)
Helpful - 0
377412 tn?1283809646
A surprise pregnancy has to be difficult. I would say....give him some time and see where he is in a few weeks. Let him process whats happening and I agree with Adgal....he will get excited and sexual in time.
Helpful - 0
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