what would you do?

[tschock]

Hubby and I decided last week that we would try again after this last m/c.
I went to the doctor's yesterday to make sure that everything was good to go.
He sent me in for a bone density test...it will take 7-10 days to get the results.
He also said that by the looks of my hands that I have osteoarthritis...joy.
He says that's why I'm having back and neck pains too.

Today is "bunny rabbit day" as we so fondly call it.
I only ever seem to be able to carry to full term if I get pregnant in June. All 4 boys are March babies...all of my m/c happen when I get pregnant outside of June...

If you knew that you had a slowly debilitating disease would you have another baby? What if it gets worse suddenly and I can't change diapers?
What happens if the tests show that I have osteoporosis? I could break my pelvic or worse while giving birth.
All of these things keep running through my mind, and today is the day that we need to decide.
So confused.
Would love to try for a little girl...or another boy. They keep you so young. lol
Am I being selfish if I try for another one?

[kdubb274]

Christinemp very touching story. Good luck everyone.

[trying43]

I have the autoimmune type of arthritis called ankylosing spondolytis.  It affects the pelvis and spine and could eventually fuse my spine together.  I have had 3 kids and mine has gotten worse however I manage it with my drs help.  I absolutely would not change having kids and would make the same decision again.  My disease is slowly debilitating me but my kids keep me going. I don't think its selfish at all.  Good luck to u.

[dfleen]

Everybody has some kind of arthritis, all it takes is a broken bone and good ol arthur kicks in, if u truly feel in ur heart this is what u want then i  say go for it..u r the only one that can answer that question...sometimes i feel slefish because my husband and i have tryed for 8 yrs and nothing  in 2006 i had a uterine ablation, in 2009 i had full gastric bypass. thinking we couldnt have anymore it never crossed our minds any more. suprise halloween 2010 i had 3 positive pregnancy test... 3 days later after blood work and a u/s it said i was 10 wks. jan 24th i went into preterm laborn and lost our baby at 22wks. i have since had sy=urgery to remove the scar tissue and go on june 15th to have a HSG done to make sure the scar tissue hsant returned. Then i will either get the go ahead to try again or have more scar tissue removed. so i guess what im trying to say only u and ur husband can make that decision but good luck with what ever choice you make. Danielle

[ChristineMP]

I have osteoarthritis in my neck (and a touch in my sacrum) and have had for many years. Unlike RA, which is autoimmune and systemic, osteoarthritis is "wear-and-tear" arthritis. Just because you have it in one place, doesn't mean you will get it elsewhere. Exercise, especially stretching and things like yoga and Tai Chai, can help maintain and even improve mobility in affected joints.

Osteoporosis can be addressed with calcium supplements and weight bearing exercise. Unless it is already quite advanced (which would be very unusual given your age) you would not be at the point of risking broken bones during labor...though if that was an issue, your doctor might consider a c-section just to be safe.

All that said...the course of any disease is not always predictable. A little over ten year ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS). By 2003 I was permanently disabled. At time I could not even get out of bed. I had to have help even to go to the bathroom, dress, comb my hair, etc. I saw many specialists and tried numerous treatments (I did at least get to where I could walk again). I was in pain all day, every day and nothing brought more than temporary relief.

Then in Dec 2006/Jan 2007...all of a sudden, it stopped. My FMS went into remission. Since then I have had occasional flare ups that last at most a few days (before flares lasted MONTHS). I went back to work and then to school and am now a nurse. Even 5 years ago I would have said all that was impossible...even more absurd would be the idea of me having another child! But here I am, four months pregnant and feeling great at age 41 1/2.

If this is what you want to do, don't be discouraged. There are ways to work around and adapt to just about anything.

[ema1982]

well if it does come back yes or no i would try if you do have osteoarthrits and it can corse trouble in birth then they will give you a section , they will no how to cope with it so go a head i say and good luck xx