Blended families

[Waiting4Molly]

Is anyone else having problems with blended families? My bf and I are very much in love. I have a 16 mo. old which he says he has accepted as his own. I am 7 months pg with our little girl. He has a 10 and 8 year old which have taken to me (at least I think so!) and they are great. When starting to set up shop for our little girl, he didn't want me to use certain drawers. This is because the two other kids put their clothes in them every other weekend when he has them and didn't want them to be occupied. They then take their stuff out and go home to their mother, who sometimes leaves them alone, btw. When I told him this wasn't fair to our new little girl (she needs her own space too) he said I didn't understand and was treating them like second class citizens. I told him I took huge offense to that. I did as they are great as mentioned and I believe his girl and I have a really good start. He got raped in his divorce settlement and pays the ex 3500.00 a month. I have asked him to tell the kids to leave clothes here to keep so they don't have to pack bags. He told me to deal with her as she will not do this but expect us to buy things for them. Oh, so much more but please help. Opinoins? Is it unreasonable of me to want permanent places for our two other kids who are with us full time?

[dsmommy]

Blending families is always a challenge of some sort.  I think your husband may just feel a little guilt himself for not being able to be w/ his other kids full time and he just wants to make them feel like they have a consistent, stable place to come to.  I know it's hard, but i wouldn't worry too much.  I think the additional dresser is good or maybe even look into some space saving ideas/drawers at home depot, lowes, or container store if your short on space.  I would try to make the 2 older kids a part of decisions if you can.  Maybe have them help w/ picking out some things, etc just to make them feel important.  I am dealing w/ a different issue...my 17yr old is absolutely furious about me being pregnant and is acting ridiculous.  He refuses to eat w/ us and is hardly speaking to any of us (it's been a week since we told him).  Kids just handle things differently but i feel for you.  Good luck!  

[shesherm]

I agree I think you should try to keep things the way the others have grown accustom to...having things they can count on right now is a good thing.  I would find somewhere for your new lil ones clothes.  I got these great additions to our closet from Home Depot...they hang off the rack that is there and give you space for folded and hanging clothes.  good luck

[1nana]

I agree with baby1234. You can get great second hand furniture at garage sales and for pretty cheap too.

[baby1234]

Why not get another dresser for the new baby to have? That way everyone has his/her own space. You can find nice ones sometimes at garage sales or estate sales. Plus, if you do end up buying the kids clothes while they are with you (or they are accidentally forgotten), there is a permanent place for them.

It is a thought.

[Regggie]

Hi....I don't have a blended family, nor do I come from a blended family, so you can do as you wish with my 2 cents ;)

But, since you asked....The one thing the 8 and 10 year old don't have is their daddy full time, and since your 16 month old and your sweet baby girl will have him full time. I have to say (since you asked for an opinion)....Leave the drawers empty and ready for the 8/10 yr olds. That little bit of space would be their piece of room in their daddy's new home with his new family. If you went to visit someone consistantly, wouldn't you feel you were putting them out if they had to move stuff every time you showed up? Good luck, deep breaths and plenty of patience to you.