FEELING HOPELESS ALL OVER AGAIN

[teddybearkit]

Hello, I am 40 (will be 41 in one month).  Got married for the first time one year ago.  We started seeing a fertility doctor very shortly after getting married in February 2010, My fsh level was running between 4.5 to 6.5..  I did 5 cycles on clomid and got pregnant on the 5th cycle but had a missed miscarried at 11 weeks.  Had to start seeing a new fetility doctor because I switched job location so it was impossible to be able to continue with my previous doctor.  My first set of blood work at this new clinic showed my fsh at 10.  I am devistated since I've never had a fsh reading that high :(  I'm now on femera (this doctor does not like Clomid all tht much) and will try that for 3 cycles only since I do not have the time to waste :(   I would love to do donor eggs but I live in Canada and I know things are different here with that.  If anybody has any experience with donor eggs in canada, I would love to hear from you!!!  thankyou and good luck to everyone.

[bncybncytigger]

i did donor eggs, i Czech republic as it was so much less expensive than USA. All it takes is about a 7 - 9 day vacation. You go in usually the day before implantation, so around day 3/4 of the cycle, get eggs implanted usually day 5, rest up for 3 days and then fly home.  I'm due in March 2011.

I chose donor after TTC for about 5 years, had one MC after finally getting pregnant via IUI after i had polyps removed, tried IUI for 3 more times after the MC and decided my age was against it, and i didn't want to go through a MC again. So the odds were better for donor egg survivability than my own.

If you need more info just email me.

[Allip77]

That's so interesting that stress even affected carrying to term.  It's amazing how our minds/emotions/stress levels can affect our fertility and bodies so much!  I hope you are getting lots of good tips on your post about managing stress :)  One thing I'm going to do right now to help manage mine, is get off this computer (quit doing research on my latest pregnancy concern) and go relax with my dh!  

[adgal]

Alli, that is a really good point about the stress.  I never had a problem conceiving, but I sure did have a problem carrying.  The pregnancy I carried full term was the first time we weren't actually trying.  I had just miscarried and hadn't had a cycle yet, so had no idea of timing or anything...wasn't even using OPK"s...got pregnant and it went the distance.  I do think stress play's a huge roll in all of this, and that is a really really important point you mentioned.

[Allip77]

I agree with adgal that your FSH is not that high at all!  Anything below 10 is considered good, I thought, and between 11-15 or so is considered diminished ovarian reserve.  I definitely think you still have a shot with your own eggs.  You could just give it a couple months.  

I got pregnant with my dd when my FSH was 12.4 and I think it happened either the first or second month of not using birth control (the reason I"m not totally sure when is a long story but my then-fiance and I weren't trying because I thought I'd have to go donor egg and we were living in different towns, I wasn't watching my cycle, etc.).  I was 39, 8 months when we conceived.  I got pregnant again when my daughter was 6 months old (the first month we tried after having my dd) and I was almost 41.  We miscarried because of a chromosomal abnormality - the odds at that age are around 35%, I think.

Here's the thing....we never did get pregnant again after that and I honestly believe here's why:  We were trying WAY too hard and I was super stressed out about it.  The first two times I got pregnant I was either not trying to get pregnant or not counting on it happening.  You know how you always hear of people who try for years to get pregnant and they finally adopt a baby and get pregnant??  It's because they're in the right state of mind.  Your FSH is just fine, and in fact good for your age, so there's plenty of hope. Maybe you and your husband should go on a little weekend getaway and try to have fun and not think about it?

Best of luck!  Sorry I don't know anything about Canadian egg donors but I just don't want you to feel so doomed.:(

[adgal]

That fsh is not all that high at all.  It's about where mine was when I got pregnant with my son.  I have no idea what it is now, because I just decided not to find out..who needs the negatives?

I am not certain where you are in Canada, but get into one of the fertility clinics. I looked into at one point as I was having multiple miscarriages, and discovered that most clinics seem to want you to find your own donor.  As you know, here in Canada it's illegal to pay for a donated egg, so many women tend to look to friends and family members.  

A friend of mine (here on MH and now live) is going to the fertility clinic here in Calgary.  Now, she is not doing donor, but she is doing IVF, and she told me they will provide donor's here.  

But honestly, with a FSH of 10, it might be premature to be looking for donor.  I know what you mean about not wasting time, but with the same level, I had my first child just one week before my 41st birthday.  I am still 41, will be 42 in January and am now pregnant again.  Just over 4 weeks, so of course it's still early, but promising.  There is no reason to think you can't have a similar outcome.

Good luck to you!!