I want to hold my daughter and might not have a choice

[Lauren_victoria]

Found out the news today I've been dreading for weeks. They told me my daughter won't make it to 22 weeks and they are shocked she is alive still.. I'm almost 18 weeks and knowing I'm going to lose my baby is devastating can't even explain how I'm feeling. One thing I've wanted ever since finding out that she might pass was a chance to hold her.. Today I've been told when or if she passes in womb I won't be allowed to hold her that they won't induce labor they will send me for a d&c. How can I not have a choice? I want to be induced and have her vaginally and I want to hold her!! Is this true that I don't have a choice? I can't go on knowing I never got to see my baby's face. I just need a moment with her even if she isn't alive..

[Monique36]

Im sorry for what your going through but one thing I can say if you know the power or prayer it does work and God has the last say so not man all things are possible if you believe in him. Just have faith and believe your baby gone be alright

[oldschoolnewschoolmom]

I'm sorry that you're going through this.  Something similar happened you a friend of mine And his wife was 20 weeks. They let her push the baby out and they even did a birth certificate and did foot and hand prints. They let her hold the baby as well. I would get a second opinion.

[Angeladona]

I'm so sorry for this impending loss. I'm sure you've asked every imaginable question to the doctors at this point so the only thing I can suggest is to refuse the procedure if it won't cost you your life. That way they know you're adamant about holding your child. Last year, I had an MC at 16 weeks and as the poster above experienced, my heart was ripped out the moment my daughter came out. I was in a hospital luckily and the midwife cleaned her up and handed her to me. I wasn't quite prepared mentally because it happened so fast but a year later I can say that having held her and having those pictures has certainly helped my grieving. I hope you get to have those precious moments with your baby.

[Chap82]

I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you. You have a choice! Absolutely!  I would go for a second opinion as others have stated. Once again I'm very sorry.

[Sprout2]

That's rediculous, of course you are allowed to hold your own child. What are their reasons for not allowing you to hold your baby if she has already passed? Here in the Netherlands they give you ample time to be with ur child (alive or passed), you can even get a special fotographer in that can take pictures of you, dad and still-born together. This way you will always have something tangible to hold on to. Get a second opinion. Find someone who will listen.

[KeeLolo]

I too al so sorry for you loss. I've been there although my situation was a little different. We lost our baby boy at 16 weeks. I miscarried at home thank God my hubby was home. But when the EMS got there they had me push once and out he came I cried like I had my heart ripped out (I guess I kind of did)! But they game us time with our son and we got pic of him... Please ask for another opinion. I look at the pics of our baby boy often. How we miss and love him so! I pray God gives you the strength to endure because it is certainly no easy

[Lauren_victoria]

They said they won't induce me because they won't risk me not dilating and then having to do a unnecessary c section.. But from what I believe she is very small and I'm sure I won't have to dilate that much. I have had 2 children vaginally already so it wouldn't be my first time.

[CurfewX]

First, I am SO very sorry for what you're going through, and I can't imagine the pain.  Have you asked that question directly of your doctor? They may have fears of infection if you deliver vaginally, but also, they may not be aware of your desire to hold your baby.   I would want an explanation if I were you, and if they can't explain, I would seek a second opinion.

Is it possible they could induce you right away, before she passes?