Lost my little girl at 23 weeks

Question

On November 3rd I gave birth to my little girl at 23 weeks.....she was born with a heartbeat that lasted about 4 hours, before she passed away......I am totally heartbroken...... On January 15, of this same year I gave birth to a 21 week girl.....I can't understand why I am losing my kids during the second trimester and around the same point of my pregnancy......
Any one got advice?

adgal · Answer

I am so so sorry you are enduring this once again.  I wish I had advice for you, but the only thing I can say is what others have said...testing to try to find out what is happening.  I wish you peace and healing, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I am so so very sorry.

Anchee · Answer

I'm incredibly sorry for your loss, and hope and pray that it won't happen again.

Though I don't really have any answers for you, I have some suggestions. As others said, insist on getting tested/checked for blood clotting issues and incompetent cervix. 

When we first started TTC, I wanted to get a thorough checkup both inside and out, but the doctors at our hospital (Kaiser Permanente, Northern California) did nothing for the "inside" part (i.e. ultrasound, etc.). So I changed hospitals and signed up with our local university medical center. The doctors were incredible and ordered both ultrasounds and an MRI to see if there was anything wrong internally. If you haven't gotten anything like this done, I would insist on it if I were you. Do you know if you have any fibroid issues or uterine scarring, etc. I've read that sometimes that can lead to second trimester losses.

I hope you find answers and have a healthy baby soon!

Ecologic · Answer

So sorry to hear you had an other 2nd trimester loss :-((

I am also surprised nothing was done to prevent them. I think what would have helped is a cerclage: basically they saw your cervix for several months to prevent the cervix to open and they put you on bed rest for several months. Make sure to change obgyn and to speak about that technique next time you get pregnant, there is no reason you can't have a regular pregnancy! Also make sure to be tested for blood clots, there are 5 of them you should be tested for. 

http://www.*****************.org/pregnancycomplications/cervicalcerclage.html

I'll keep you in my thoughts, I hope you can heal quickly!!

40plusmom · Answer

I cried when I read all of your losses. My heart goes out to you all. My sister lost twins (ivf) one at 10 weeks, carried her daughter Natalie Grace until 26 1/2 weeks. Her problem was a clotting abnormality. She now has a healthy 3 year old miracle baby. She had to take (I think but not sure of dose) baby aspirin during pregnancy. So there is hope. It was a terrible, dark time then, a horrible experience for anyone to go through. She also had a funeral. Please surround yourself with peaceful, supportive people. You are in my prayets

worried2451 · Answer

So very sorry for your loss. Praying you can find some peace and the strength to heal. All my best, Christine

oceanv · Answer

I am so, so sorry.
My thoughts are with your family
Joanne

nola0805 · Answer

My heart just breaks for you. I remember when you lost your first little girl and I was so happy to hear that you were pregnant again.  Sometimes there just does not seem to be any answers for why such terrible things can happen to good people.  I know that words cannot take away your grief, but please know that you have all of our support and encouragement, and I hope that time brings some peace and healing.

I also agree with what other posters are saying - I would insist on more answers from your doctor or switch doctors, especially to a high/risk doctor.  Coagulation and incompetent cervix issues are potential candidates.

Pum · Answer

I'm so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

Please take care of each other.

gwen500 · Answer

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have a friend who experienced the same thing (twice). When she became pregnant again, she INSISTED on a "stitch" for an incompetent cervix because the doctor was not going to give her one. She told the doctor she was going to change doctors if he didn't do it. She has a two year girl now.

Kricket212 · Answer

I am very sorry for your loss. Have you ever been tested for coagulation to see if you have any blood clotting issues?  
If you have not already, I would recommend going to a high risk/genetics Dr.  I have done that already & found it extremely helpful with information.  

My thoughts & prayers are with you during this tough time.

skysmama94 · Answer

Forgot to say - our daughter's name is Sunday Pauline - she was born sleeping on November 9, 2009 in Spokane, WA.  I have her obituary - am so glad I did that for her and for me as well.  Some won't do an obituary, but I did.  I have her box with all of her things from the hospital with her feet prints, etc.  and they sent me a CD with her pictures afterwards.  Feel free to contact me.

Hugs again,

Melissa  (age 40, due 3/25/11 with Stormy Paulette)

skysmama94 · Answer

I lost my daughter at 23 weeks also - however, she had no heartbeat and I was induced due to a blood clot in her cord.  I am currently pregnant with our 9th baby, but we have only 3 living children.  My problem was PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome which caused a hormonal imbalance.  I take Progesterone now and Metformin for the first 6 months of pregnancy.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  We are now having another girl, and I am 21 weeks along.  It is so scary to think I could lose her too.  I just can't wait until she is here, it ***** all the joy out of pregnancy.

Are you having any testing done?  Have you had a thrombolytics panal?  This is to see if you need blood thinners, etc.  Also, you may need progesterone starting at your 2nd trimester to keep the babies.  I hope your OB/GYN or Endo can help you.  I'm so very, very sorry to hear this....

Hugs,

Melissa

mollyma · Answer

What terribly sad news. I can't even imagine what you must be going through.

mjmom69 · Answer

Oh, I am so sorry. How heartbreaking. Did the doctors say why they think it is happening. I would definately get them to check this out further. I will say a prayer. Take care.

naturschld · Answer

I don't have any answers but my heart goes out to you.  So sorry that this happened.  ((hugs))

April162010 · Answer

Its true..i was talking to my co worker and she just told me about her sister having the same "cervix" problem and they did a surgery on her while pregnant. the baby survive..

she should look into this..

Birds71 · Answer

I am so, so sorry for your loss.  give yourself time to heal and surround yourself with a good support system.

Someone I know gave birth at around 25 weeks and her baby survived for about 2 weeks.  I believe she was diagnosed with an incompetant cervix - what a horrible name, but I think this is what it is called.  Basically that the cervix cannot remain closed for the duration of a pregnancy.  She can get pregnant again, but there is some type of procedure that needs to be done to prevent this from happening again.  Will also be considered a high-risk pregnancy.

I hope you find some answers.  Sending you lots of hugs.  :)

April162010 · Answer

sorry about that. god help you to find the strengh you need at this moment.

Do you have the first trimester blood results?  how was your trisomy test?  it seems you can find some answer in the trisomy 18-13. babies with this 2 usually passed away in early birth.

happynifer · Answer

i can't fathom how devastated you must be.
are you having cervix issues that are causing you to go into premature labor?
a friend lost several babies in the second trimester before she had a cerclage wire placed this pregnancy and gave birth to a full term girl in october.
hopefully your doctors can find answers for you, and i hope you find peace in your time of grief.
(((hugs)))