Wife scared to have a baby after 40

[hanaguchi]

My wife is really scared to have a child since she just passed 40. This is not our
first child and I think that helps. I know there are no guarantees but is it that much
riskier?
Thanks

[mature momma]

Thanks for your support and your success story. Makes me feel good to hear happy endings. I know there is one out there for us as well. Congrats!!!!!  :)) Debra

[Tina398]

I do wish u the best of luck to u and to mature momma and to everyone who is trying to have a child, they are precious, I would tell u that, with only one ovary it will be even harder to conceive so maybe u want to consider IVF, I tried it and it worked for me the first time, I did have a girl who is 9 now and that was a normal pergnancy but as I got older I wanted another child and thank God I went for IVF in Egypt (cause it is cheaper :)) and it worked and now Im pregnant at my 28th week, I believe u should go for it and pray to God it works for u, with many women they get pregnant the first time they do it, good luck

[mature momma]

Anita,

I'm Debra. I turned 46 last week and we have been TTC for about 10 mths. We have only been married 1yr 4mths. I also have had some bad luck. Had an ectopic pregnancy at 17 which I lost my right tube. Then a miscarrige at 32. We tried several cycles of Clomid with no success. Then decided to do IVF with my eggs which also failed to work. I am like you, I so desire a child its all I think about. We have decided to do IVF with donor eggs which we are just starting.My advice to you is stop at nothing to achieve your dream of a family. Things will work out for all of us going thru this. Prayers to everyone:):)  Debra

[Scared&Confused]

Hi everyone~My name is Anita,I turned 40 on July 12,and desperately want a child! Unfortunately I have 2 strikes against me...the first obviously being my age, the second is that I had my left ovary and tube removed 2 weeks ago due to a cyst that developed nodularity,it was not cancer,THANK GOD,but now I am left wondering what the likelihood of my conceiving will be.My periods are irregular, I have not menstruated since June 6th, and before that it was April 5th, I have been getting TERRIBLE night sweats and hotflashes, but am afraid to have a bloodtest to determine whether or not I am entering perimenopause.My abdomen is still extremely sore from the incision,but the staples are out,and I get a little better each day.I don't know when I will be ready physically to start trying to get pregnant...but financially,emotionally,and in every other way I am! My concern is that due to my age and the loss of my ovary I have missed out on my chance to conceive and I feel like my life just won't be fufilled without a child of my own. I look around at my nieces,nephews, and all of the other precious children surrounding me and the longing I feel for one of my own is so powerful that my heart actually aches! I would really like some advice or guidance from anyone out there who is going through something similar....or for that matter from anyone at all who is willing to listen. THANK YOU

[Trialanderror]

I had my first child at almost 42, conceived and born naturally....and all went well, however, I did get the amniotic fluid checked as the chances for Downs syndrome are so much higher exponentially with every year past 35. I was told chances were at 30% for Downs syndrome. Not sure if that is truly so. I had a healthy 9+ pounder, however, I can tell that my little guy is a tiny bit out of balance in the hormonal and the nutritional department. Nothing serious but I have come to the conclusion that as an older mother you can be deficient in nutrients or hormones despite a healthy lifestyle and inadvertently give your baby a harder start. So to answer your question: your main risk after 40 would be miscarriage as a lot of genetic defects are causing those. And the risk of Down syndrome is higher but if you are aware of these factors, you can focus on the likelihood of a positive outcome.

[olderandwiser]

i think its great, if ur healthy go for it..good luck

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I am 40 and pregnant with a healthy little girl.

My mother in law had her last at 45.

Her mother had her last one at 47.

Yes, the risks of birth defects are much higher.  And it will mean a delay in retirement and couple time.

[mature momma]

I'm 45 turning 46 next week. We have been TTC about 10 mths now. If you want a child go for it !  Miracles happen everyday. :):):)  Best of luck.   Debra

[maryhe]

If she has no significant health problems, she is not likely to have major problems having a child.  The problem is she has a higher chance of miscarrying at age 40+.  I am 40, have been trying since 38 and have had 2 miscarriages.  My doctor still feels like those were chance occurrences and I still have a good chance of carrying a child.  

But I know many women who had children at 40 and older with no problems whatsoever and no prior miscarriages.  Plus, the chance of Downs syndrome, although higher older women, may still only be like 1-2%.  So riskier but not necessarily something to be afraid of.

If you both want to try, you should start as soon as possible.  If she's concerned, she should speak with OB/GYN.  My doctor was encouraged that I had no problems conceiving, but also did not think I had a lot of time to waste.

[jifnif]

i think these days any pregnancy is a risk.  i know young girls that have had perfectly normal pregnancies (or so they thought) to deliver still born, to miscarry and have downes.   I do believe that the older you get the harder it is to get pregnant for some people and the harder it is to carry a pregnancy full term due to changing hormones.  also, the big concern w/ age is that your eggs are older and might have some things that can increase chances of problems (sorry, i cant think of the words to explain better).  if your wife is healthy and perhaps talking w/ her dr it should set all worry aside if you truly want another child.  :)