when is it safe to announce?

[alitat77]

I'm 36 years old and 6 weeks pregnant.  My babies daddy is 45.  Maybe due to our ages.... This pregnancy worries me more than when i had my daughter 4 years ago.  When is out safe to announce my pregnancy to friends?    I worry about jinxing myself...losing the baby after telling everyone.   Is this rational or just hormones doing the thinking for me??

[alitat77]

Thank you everyone!    I am brand new to this forum and had NO CLUE it was so active or that I'd get so many quick replies!!    I think I'll keep waiting a bit.... The "till it feels right" route.    I just worry so much with this one.    Need to stop that....because the worrying doesn't help things either.    I just need to focus on keeping relaxed, getting through my days (soooo fatigued lately!), & thinking positive thoughts.    I'm so grateful to you all....it's amazing how instantly warm and fuzzy ask those supportive posts made me feel!   :)

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with ShePowell when she says she has told the news of her pregnancy to the people that she would tell if the worst happened.  I was never sorry to have told those closest to me that I was pregnant, even when I had miscarriages, because they were were big comforts in the sad times.  It also sometimes comes up when someone wants you to drink a toast at a party and you won't drink alcohol, or to sit in a hot tub, or other things like that.

I also strongly agree with Cari_Jo about not buying a lot for the baby before he or she is here.  It would have simply devastated me to have to take back a whole lot of things chosen with care and happy anticipation.  And if you want a happier reason instead of a sad one, it is actually pretty fun to get out with your little one (as long as you don't do it outrageously early, like on the way home from the hospital) to pick up a few things.  Babies are pretty portable when it comes to trips to the store, much more so than muley toddlers, and it can give some structure to the blurry days when all you seem to do is sit and look at the baby.  That said, go to Babies R Us and register, and do your picking and choosing from lists from Consumer's Guide and other sources.  That way if your friends do come to a meet 'n' greet, they will often have grabbed something that you need.

Good question and interesting answers!  I remember thinking that I could tell who was closest to me just by looking at who knew and who didn't.  It tends to naturally sort itself out.

[adgal]

I also never keep it a secret even though I have had multiple losses. Heck, I've announced it in the grocery store to the check out person..ha.  It's such a personal decision, and as others have said, what you do or don't say will not impact the outcome.  Congrats to you!

[saraanon]

I'm 45 and have had 3 m/c's so when I found out I was pregnant, I told my mother and sister and that was it.  It wasn't bc I thought I would jinx myself, but bc if I lost the baby I didn't want to have to back track and tell everyone.  Bc of my age, I had to have genetic testing to see if there were any chromosome problems and when that came back ok, I decided then to tell other peopple (that was at 14 weeks).  It's totally up to you and what you feel comfortable with.  You won't jinx anything.  Good luck to you and you little precious bub!!

[ShePowell]

..... That was meant to be a x at the end, not comes!

[ShePowell]

I am 6 weeks and have told the people that I would tell if the worst happened. It's too exciting to keep it completely to yourself, but I completely understand what cari said. A friend of mine told everyone at 7 weeks (including on Facebook) and she lost her baby. It was awful for her when people then kept asking after the baby comes

[Cari_Jo]

I am 38 and preganant with my first child.  I had a miscarriage when I 25.  My husband and I tried to get pregnant for a year and half before finding sucess with a fertility clinic.  (My husband has been on and off of chemo therapy treatments for nearly 10 years and had problems with low sperm counts and motility.)  

I understand the "jinxing yourself" thing.  You want to be excited, but cautiously so.  For me, it was more about not wanting to bear the sympathies and condolences in the event something happened.  

I did wait until 12 weeks to annouce and am currently in my 23rd week.  However, my cautiousness remains.  I haven't even made my first baby purchase yet!!  In fact, I am toying with the idea of not having a shower and instead, having everyone over for a meet and greet after the baby is born.  I just can't stand the thought of having to get rid of everything if something goes wrong.  After all, what does a baby really need the first week they're home?  I figure I (or my husband depending on how I'm feeling) can go shopping after she comes home.

Obviously, Annie is right.  What is meant to be will happen and being afraid that you are going jinx yourself, but its okay to be cautious.  You'll know when the time is right.  If you feel like sharing your miraculous news, then feel free to do so.  I'm sure that everything will work out perfectly for you and you'll look back one day and think about how silly you were to be so worried.  

Best of luck to you and your husband!!  :-)

[NatFox]

I agree with Annie. Personally i can never wait and always tell everyone soon as i found out lol but i must say it is very hard if you loose your baby and people are still asking...how is the baby?... Most people wait till 12 weeks but it is not always possible if you feel very sick...

[AnnieBrooke]

What you say will not cause a baby to stay or to go.  You won't jinx yourself if you don't tell anyone until the baby is born or tell everyone tomorrow.