Aidan Lee Darling (still birth 1/15/12)

[hotmama78]

Dear Aidan... Love of my life, i actually in the situation of not know what should i write to vent my feelings.. :( but the purpose for this is to letting you & the entire universal know the 5 months with you is the most wonderful amazing moment's i've ever been thru in my entire life.. i do not know when??? where??? how??? should i begun but let me begin by telling you there is nothing in this world i can compare with the love i had towards you...!!!

I don't know when am i actually falling in love with you but somehow i just knowing i already falling badly the moment i see you for the very 1st time when you was only 4weeks old. Weird Aidan Darling... bcos you not even has your heart beat yet but its already enough makes my heart beat real fast that i almost feel i am reaching the sky above...

As time goes i keep more..more..more..more..and more falling in love to you, knowing you're growing stronger and stronger i smile even when i was asleep. Bcos i know the moment you meet me that's will be the day i MOST waiting for the pass 33years i am.. I felt like teenagers Aidan Darling bcos i was very happy every time we talk and i share you all the things i want us to do when time comes.. I am like sweet 17 whom giggling of how the 1st date gonne be since you and me only contact via feelings and something that so beautiful till i not even have the right words to describe it..!!

Every time i touch you Aidan Darling i feel miracle.. every time i begun talking i feel like i have so many things to tell you. I wonder sometimes are you feel me annoying???? hahahah.. but well that's how people in love they never less topic to chat about... :) When you was 18weeks old, i am stunt to know you're a BOY...!!! I was scare at 1st really bcos i was born PINK darling.. I wonder this and that.... but after few hours the excitement starting showering me that waoooo... I am really dating a boy... NO KIDDING!!!

And i begun to realize Aidan Darling how amazing that's gonna be to explore your blue world...!!! it's hard to continue fr here on but i really want you to know how much i love you Aidan Darling... I've plan too many.. so much... real huge things for you and i can feel it's so close to reaching our famous happy ending where we finally meet... and doing the kissing... hugging for the very 1st time. But you show me Aidan Darling beautiful dreams not always ending fantastic but sometimes dramatic too!! That's how you&me love affair come to the end.. for somehow i don't know how to explain but at the age of 21week you shock me..rock my world.. turn it upsidedown by breaking up with me. the worst part we both don't know why its need to end this way.. :(

Just somehow we need to bid our goodbye even how hard to endure the pain.. I feel dying Aidan Darling as i already giving all my heart to you.. my entire life ahead all is about you...you...you..you...and you...!!! out of the blues i've to start all over again and be frank i still cannot figure it out how i gonna do that Aidan Darling. I cannot promise you i will be right away okay fr this heartbreaking but i know time will be the best medication ever and someday i know i'll be able to see the HAPPY me again.... not tomorrow... not next week... maybe not in the months even a years but i will try the best i could and as for you Aidan darling please please please never doubt my love towards you bcos the real true your love is the most magical love i ever has in my entire life.. it's really carry rainbow within... and i glad you show me how to LOVE...

We no need to find an answer why our love story end this way, let's just cherries every moments that we already spend together even its just very short period of time.. it's better then nothing at all...!!! Allowed me Aidan darling to never ever bid a goodbye to you just someday in the next life or in the beautiful heaven do intro yourself to me if you ever recognize me so i will not forever wonder about how good looking you are actually that make me falling in love so  damn badly!!!

So my Aidan Darling.. this is not yet the end but just the beginning between you&me.. i love you always and forever be... remember always that you're the MOST LOVE by me till we meet again.. bigggggg...biggg.. warm hugs for you Aidan darling... may new place promise much more beautiful things then what you've been for the past 5 months...

Love,
Your secret admire...!!! Mommy Rachel

[Rosalie23]

This made me cry so much while reading it, I know it's hard for you I wish you the best in healing. Your story touched my heart, now your angel is shining down Watching over you until you meet again. RIP baby Aidan your mother loves you so much I can tell by this post. My prayers go to your & your baby boy. (Hugs)

[hotmama78]

Has been 3 years but the memory stay!!! so does the pain :'(

[baby2_on_the_way]

This made me cry a million times over. I hope you are healing dear. ((hugs)) you are a twirly strong woman

[hotmama78]

Rachel Honey...

(((Hugs))) for you... I really have no words to say beside I felt you so much!! Be there myself 5times I can truly say if I've magic stick I will make sure none of us woman need to be in such situation, is horrible!!!!

But hun, this is life and all we can do is move on look forward that there is something better God store for us if he ask us to wait. I do believe you'll made a good mother is just that the right baby haven't yet to be come.

Silly to think if not then why HE made us prego then take it away via miscarriage.. is too painful to bear right??? But I guess HE just want to make sure we are the right Mommy for the right baby. So as long u really want it don't loss hope.. keep the faith alive and God will bless you with the right baby soon. I'll keep u in my prayer for healing soon...

Lots love...
Rachel....

[rach301]

Hi Rachel

Hope ur ok. I lost another pregnancy this year! The baby got to 9 weeks and when i went for my 10 week scan, there was no heart beat.

Really horrible for this to have happened again. I really feel ur pain Rachel. I do feel lost and i feel like it's never going to happen now.

Rachel x

[hotmama78]

Hey dear...

Is true i taking this really like remembering love note for my beloved Baby Aidan and this is i usually did whenever i go thru this web and read those mother who been thru the same boat as i am... is really killing me when i read they post.. recent one i read again loss baby girl and also still birth just like i am... arrrggghhh... i just really hope no one will ever go thru this dear... is really terrible experience....!!!

Hug...xxx
Rachel

[KJ812]

Im so sorry for your loss your story was so sad. :( im glad that you keep this post going tho in rememberence. Its like having something to comfort you a little with continuing to get through this. Im sure your heart still aches but its ok no one blames you. Sending comforting hugs your way***

[hotmama78]

I miss you Aidan Baby.... :(

[hotmama78]

Lately i read so much about lovely mommy like me losing the angel making me missing my son so badly... and every time i does i always go back to this post again.... :)

I will never go far fr this special post made specially for Baby Aidan... I love you son R.I.P and you are always live here in my heart and never gone...!!!

Hugs...xxx
Rachel

[hotmama78]

Thank you hun.. be frank every time i read it over and over i do cry still... i want someday to read it but i finally smile... just don't know when the day will come... :(( i know he for sure sad watching down on me and i am far from moving on. I just hope he can understand that this is so hard for me...!!!

[mindyr18]

I want to tell you that your story touched my heart and i had tears running down my face while reading..I hope you are healing and just remember your angel is shining down in you day and night <3 xoxo

[hotmama78]

Wish i can over come this soon....!!! i really wanted to be happy again not pretending happy for the sake of everyone thats really make me tired... :((

[hotmama78]

No really... but life moves on...!!! i miss him so much...!! he is gone but in my heart he is not...!!! i am getting crazy down here... carry Aidan's baby ashes here and there like stupid fellow... :(( :(( arrrgghhhhhhh... i just wish this pain go away ASAP...!!!! its killing me....!!!!

[eve0512]

I brought tears to my eyes! I hope u r doing good... My prayers go to u and ur little boy...

[babybonita]

Sorry for your loss. Aidans a little angel watching down on you right now. This is truly a love story between mother /child. True love,till u meet again. Rip Aidan  

[hotmama78]

Thank you.... i really do love this boy damn damn damn much and i have done everything i could to make him save and sound.. still i fail... :(( :(( :(( i just don't know when will i have another boy since he going to be MY ONE AND ONLY as i am done the tube cut and burnt during my still birth thru c-sec... but i welcome adoption just that it's not now.. i need to fixed myself and i haven't find any way how to cope with this loss....!!! it's HUGE.... since he was my 5th pregnancy but my 1st baby... :(( :(( :((

[prayin4_2]

So sorry for ur loss. May God give him back to you again when you have another boy soon!

[jamesruss1]

Beautiful...just like Aidan.....Peace be with you both.

[hotmama78]

I love this letter i wrote for you Aidan baby.. so let's bump it so many more other will read it..!! i still miss you so much son... i still crying.. and i still write many lovely letter for you... are you happy sit next to me and read what i wrote for you..???

[hotmama78]

So beautiful of you dear....!!! touching... hugsssss...

[MIKEB86]

God took you as early as he did/ because you were the perfect kid/ and just the second you were made/ god knew he couldn't fill your place/ so he had to bring you home so fast/ but don't worry cause when time has passed/ god said one day ill get my turn/ to watch u grow and help you learn/ and i cannot wait until that day/ everynight I kneel and pray/ and i ask god to keep him safe/ but i know in my heart he's in a good place/ and now I know death wont be so bad/ it my be best the day I ever have/cause then again ill see his face/ and wrap him in my warm embrace......r.i.p....aidin

[hotmama78]

I am trying hard dear... but still all i am doing its crying badly... :(( its really hard to move on... :(( looking for help soon...!!! :((

[momabear86]

Crying so much, I'm sure you made him proud and will make an amazing mommy. God bless

[hotmama78]

Aidan darling.... i still missing you so badly....!!! how are you??? i wondering.... :((