Coping

[Girlnextdoor646]

I'm too young to have a baby but i want to have something for my own what should I do?

[mere20]

i know the feeling but take it fromm someone who nows first hand it is very difficult to have a baby too young and when your are not ready

[JillyHemp316]

I hope it all works out, and I would most certainly adopt a kitty from a humane society, that way not only would you be doing something good for yourself but you'd be doing a good for the cat population. I hope everything works out.

[Girlnextdoor646]

Thank you for being here for me to talk to. It's been hard to deal with that situation and the fact that you are there willing to help me really makes me feel much better.

Girlnextdoor646

[smjmekg]

You're his big sister, and it's good you help out, especially with five siblings. That's a lot of kids, and I'm sure your dad/stepmom appreciate the help. Your brother may be especially attached to you because of the situation with your mom and dad splitting and dad remarrying. You're a female that hasn't left, and you're not a new person to him, he's very young still and probably doesn't understand it all. My aunt went through a divorce and her three year old son didn't understand any of it. Little kids will do things sometimes when stuff around them changes. My friend's almost two year old son has started biting people since his mom had his little sister a few months ago. A different friend's son stopped talking at two when his dad got deployed. I'm not saying any of this to make you think that your brother wants you just because of the situation, I'm sure it's more than that, but like I said he's very young still, and his world has changed quite a bit, take a little bit of that into consideration, it's going to take time for him to get used to the change. Be there for him as his sister, but remember to be a kid too. You're only 15 and life doesn't slow down for you to take in each moment. Enjoy your teenage years, they'll be gone before you know it. I look back now, and I can't believe I'm almost 24, I've been married for two and a half years, and my son's seventeen months old. Time flies, and you can't go back to your younger years and relive them. I wouldn't change my life for the world but I DID enjoy my teenage years and wasn't married until 21, I got pregnant a month after I got married. So be a teenager, have fun and be there for your brother too, you can do both.

[JoyRenee]

Well your stepmom is obviously going to play a very different role for your brother and that is as his mother. I know you feel you've raised him but the truth is that he isn't your child. Granted he isn't hers either but she is the parental role figure in his life and you need to step back and let her take that role.

You get to be the SISTER again and get to be young and free of the responsibility of raising a child. So be a sister! Do what you've always done but know that at the end of the day your stepmom and father are the ones raising him to be a moral man. He can still look up to you.

[mami1323]

She will never be his mom but she can be that nurturer that both of you need.  You need to feel like a child as well, since you helped raise your brother, you never got to be that.  You gave your brother your love but than you were left sort of empty.  Think of him as what he is to you, your brother.  Think of her as what she is to both of you, a stepmother.  She will never try to replace you, just like she can't replace your mom.  Give her that chance and allow yourself a little bit of freedom to be a kid.

[Girlnextdoor646]

Okay, I have another question. So, I have a three year old brother and I raised him with my dad's help because our mom left, but then dad got remarried, how do I handle the fact that there is a new mom but i still feel like he's mine?

I think that I already asked something like that but i dont remember. Please help.

[JoyRenee]

I know how you feel- we all feel it, especially as women. But the truth is that you're young and have plenty of other things to do and worry about right now. You probably already realize that though.

Plenty of time to have babies when you are older! I know it seems like it might never happen but you just don't know what tomorrow will bring.

[Irish741]

If you don't think getting an animal will full fill this feeling what about offering your love and time as a volunteer? You can try to volunteer with children. There are many children out there that need love and attention from a caring individual. This will give you some really good insight on the selflesnes and sacrifice of being a parent as well as helping out a child or children that need someone to pay attention to them. I just had my first back in March. For the first 6 months he was EXTREMELY difficult. All he did was scream at me and cry. There was nothing I could do to sooth him. I have to say that was by far the hardest time in my life. It is great that you are reaching out to others about your feelings and I hope whatever decision you make you are able to think it thru because no matter how ready you may think you are for a certain situation it is never what you imagine. Best of luck!

[Girlnextdoor646]

I have three dogs and a cat with five siblings! That kind of won't help getting another animal. By the way I have another question: I have a three and a half year old brother who I've raised with my dad's help, but then he got remarried, how should I feel about that? I am torn up because he only wants to be with me, but I'm not his mom.

[tobbeyj]

sea monkeys are sooo boring...I would try a cat or dog...something that can show some love or affection. A cat is a great idea, although a pretty long term commitment. They can be loving and cuddly yet still independent more so than a dog. :)

[faye83]

Get sea monkeys

[smjmekg]

You have one big thing of your own...your own life. You may not be able to make all the decisions yet, but the only person you have to worry about is you. It's your life to do with what you want. You can be anything you want to be, and a mother is in there somewhere, but like you said you're too young. You'll have your own baby soon enough, but right now you have you, nothing can change that. You have your future to decide on, whether you want to be a doctor, an actress, a singer...all that's what you'll have of your own. You have your own opinions...you have a lot of things that are your own...but if you feel you need something more, I agree with the others, see about a pet, start a new hobby...writing, making things...

[isthisnormal]

Thank you for asking this question, and I completely agree with the puppy thing. When I was sixteen my mom knew I was in a bad place emotionally so she took me to the SPCA and we found a puppy for me. To this day I have her. :) And now I have a cute little dog and a baby due any day now.

[Ashelen]

Ask your parents to get you a puppy....truly. It's okay to want to nurture and love something, but if you really feel like you might go out and get pregnant when you're (as you said) too young, you should consider getting a pet that you can love and cherish but that won't trap you before you're ready to someday become a parent. Becoming a parent is not about feeling loved or possessing something that you can love, it's about responsibility and hard choices and sacrifice. It's rewarding, yes, but it's also better when you wait for it, because you know that you made the first right choice in a long life full of choices for your future baby. Hope this helps....I'm glad you reached out for help and support.