The infamous Sex after delivery question...

[BTS1022]

It has been a little over 3 weeks since Kora was born. I did tear on my right inner labia on the inside which required only one stitch. However the doctor did not stitch the WHOLE tear, just one area of it, and it still bothers me slightly, mainly when I wipe or when it is touched. Hubby said it looks like I have a scab of some sort where the stitch was. I am also still bleeding, not sure if it is PP bleeding or from the depo shot I got before I left the hospital.

Anyways, I am desperate to feel close to hubby again, and honestly 3 weeks is WAY to long to not be intimate for us. Sex is not everything, but it is a huge part of our relationship, and I am just as eager as he is to get our sex life back to normal, well as normal as it can be with a newborn in the house lol. Hubby is not rushing me at all, in fact I think I have been nagging him more for it than he has lmao. He is scared that my tear is not fully healed, but I don't think his "manhood" would even come close to touching it during BD'ing. I know there are other things to do to feel close to each other, and we have done some of those things...but it's just not the same lol.

I was wondering what you ladies thought about me trying after 3 weeks? I know it is ultimately up to me and my body, but have any of you torn and only waiting 3 weeks before bd'ing?

[Melissa_1982]

I had a slight tear require 2 stitches when I had my 2nd daughter.  OH & I tried at 6 weeks & it hurt like hell... to the point I was crying & screaming to stop. I didn't let him touch me again until about 8 weeks postpartum & even then it was tender but worked through it.  After my 1st daughter I didn't even try until 5 months PP as I was a single mom & didn't trust anyone to try with.

Every woman is different, BUT having sex with a tear that isn't fully healed or is still tender can cause an infection so that's why most doctors prefer you wait til 6weeks PP & the bleeding has stopped.

[Ashelen]

I tore in every direction and had a horrible recovery with DD...I waited until after the 6wk check-up with that birth...but after my son, I had an episiotomy and about 2 stitches and DH and I had sex for the first time 2wks post-partum. I wouldn't recommend it because it made my bleeding SUPER heavy, but as far as comfort goes..it didn't hurt. But I had stopped bleeding at that point too (which is why starting again freaked me out, lol). If you feel up to it, I'd say go for it slowly, carefully, and using protection (to prevent pregnancy AND infection).

[jenkaye21]

10 DAYS, hon, not the same day!  LOL!  I'm not THAT brave, either! ! =)

[Heatherm4]

We waited about 9 weeks but I had many tears inside and it is still painful at first. Use lots of lube, that's all I have to say! LOL

[brigadiva]

I have the same kind of tear on my right labia but she did give me a few stiches.  And, loke yours, it is still sore to the touch, etc.  It has been almost four weeks for me. I know DH is probably ready but I am not lol.  With my first child I waited around 6-8 weeks pp and it still felt pretty bad (like sandpaper lol, sorry, tmi!!) But I do think I tore worse then.  I was just like "get it over with" in my head haha.  But that was with my ex HB.  I don't think I'll wait that long this time but I am nervous about it.  And not really feeling too intimate, of course having an infant at your breast 24/7 will do that to ya.  

[BTS1022]

Thanks gals! I'm wanting to give it a go this week on his 3 days off lol, but he is still a bit iffy on the subject. But like I said...im ready emotionally lol.

jenkaye21- How in the world does one start having sex the day/night after having a baby!?! lol. I'm pretty brave, this is the longest I have ever waited to BD after delivery, but im not brave enough to go at it the day after delivering. I guess maybe if I got good enough drugs and was still numb I'd be okay, but if that was the case how would it even be enjoyable?? lol.

Anywho, I think I will give it a try lol

[Clysta]

I waited till 4 weeks PP and had two tears and only one was stitched up as well. It didn't hurt at all and I was good to go. I also had been having no pain after 2 weeks PP as well though. If you're still tender you could try it and see how you feel, but don't push yourself. If it hurts, just push it off for a bit longer.

[jenkaye21]

I had an episiotomy with all 4 (though the tearing was minimal) and the longest we ever waited was 3 weeks.  That was with our first.  The shortest we ever waited was about 10 days.  A little painful at first, but fine. :)

[ammanda]

I had a 3rd degree cut, and we tried it at 4 weeks, and hurt so bad, i cried... then decided to hold off alil longer.. about 6 and half weeks, we tried again.. and we were good to go :) actually did it 2, one after another lol sorry TMI.. but yea its def. about how you feel and your body.  they say 6 weeks but ive heard of people that do it the same night they have a baby lol.. dang animals lol