Three's A Crowd

[SashaRay77]

My boyfriend and I live together and he seems to think its ok for him and his ex wife to talk at least 2-5 times a day (and that's the times I know about) to talk about their two daughters who are seventeen and nineteen (soon to turn 20 next month). He explains that they are at critical points in their lives and he and his ex are co-parenting to get them into adulthood. He says he likes to hear about the girls from the exes perspective.  He also professes they are good friends and he considers her family.  My other issues are he has excluded me when they've gone out to birthday dinners for the girls with both sides of their family.  Hangs out at their house to spend time with the girls because they aren't "comfortable" hanging out at my house. (Even though I've constantly opened my arms & doors to them) and have even taken a vacation together to celebrate a sweet sixteen that I wasn't invited to come along. Then to make matters worst his family invites her to family functions some of which he didn't invite me to.  His excuse for that is he didn't think I'd want to go to these events and he has no idea and isn't even willing to politely ask his family to curb invitations to her. He says I'm over reacting and am so use to seeing people not get along that this would seem odd but that he really cares and wants to be with me. I'm having a hard time accepting that as truth. I don't suspect any hanky panky is going on but the strong need for this much interaction all in the name of co-parenting adult and almost adult children and the desire to NOT change the dynamics of the friendship bewilders me.  It's making me question whether my feelings even matter.  I understand the need for interaction but this is overboard, especially when I'm not included. Am I being unreasonable and self serving to be feeling this way?

[scillacts]

Honestly girl, he may still love his wife no matter what and his girls. To me your not over reacting but it's not right tht he not inviting you or even bringing you along. It sounds fishy to me

[4Nheaven1here]

I don't think its ok that he doesn't invite you to gatherings but this was his wife at one point although they're exes now that bond they have from there now grown children will never go away. You should except it as long as he let's you in on things. Unless your married or planing on it don't expect him to act like a husband because he's been there before and there is a difference. Best of luck

[Kimberly_90]

Hell naw...even my fiance said that sounds fishy amd sounds like someone isn't being faithful

[4thonecoming]

No way your over reacting, I would be leaving if it were me, that sounds too fishy to me

[Mommylovebug]

I agree with the others.ur not overreacting!

[Chemie07]

Also about your boyfriend not includeing you in the family gatherings you need to talk to him about it and let him know it upsets you because you arnt being included. If he cant include you in big family things then there is something wrong. Family is suppose to be supporting and include everyone.

[Chemie07]

No you arnt over reacting. I grew up wuth devoriced parents who never talked so when i met my boyfriend and realized how much his ex wife hung around him and his family it made me very uncomfortable. but when i talked to him about it he didnt think i was over reacting. He actually went out of his way to make mefeel comfortable about thier situation. And now she isnt really hoovering over him and his family anymore. But they do stay in clise contact because of their 5 yr old that they have together.

[Nina159]

Ur not over reacting i would be pissed of aswell they grown he can call them and ask about their day no need for his ex to explain what they did that day who knows better the mom or the actual petson and as for him not inviting u that is mean he leaves u behined while going with his ex on family events dosent he consider u family??? Sins he never seems to invit u out when theirs a even. So yeah u have a right to be mad he should take ur fellings into consideration

[experienced_33]

Not overreacting at all. If there was an issue with the girls, or an event, then his communication with his ex would be understandable. But they dont need to discuss visitation or any of the usual custody stuff at this point. As for family events, u are now his family. The girls are his family. His ex is the girls family NOT his. His complete acceptance of her and lack of family commitment to you would be enough to make me walk. Maybe its just me, but I would frame his divorce certificate and hang it prominently on the wall and explain to him that things are going to change or he can have his old life w/o me holding him back!!!

[1st_time_momma]

I'd be pissed too the girls are old enough that he doesn't need to fraternize with her really at all unless the situation is an emergency