Warning-TMI...

[itcouldhappen]

ok, This isn't exactly pregnancy related. But I am just so embarrassed. I just wanted to get this off my chest, as I just dont want to hold it in anymore. Also want your opinion if you have one. You ladies have been great and I feel comfortable sharing this. Sigh, here it goes. I am scared I may not get pregnant as soon as I want. I have a fear, that I may poop on myself if I walk out my door. Its taking over my life. I get extremely nervous being around someone I dont know. I say I feel sick so I can leave the room. I don't know what to do. I even felt like I could poop while laying in bed with DH lastnight. Its stressing me out. I rather stay in instead of going out. I don't even ride with DH from the fear........

I am upset that it keeps happening. Ive actually pooped on myself because I was nervous about no bathroom close to me. it was in public!!!  I am lost.......




thanks for reading. :)
sorry its gross.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

being dehydrated, you'll feel lathargic, sick, your urine will be very dark possibly cloudy.  If you pinch the skin on the back of your hand it won't snap back like it's supposed to.

[sam75]

im like u with medicine, ill only take panadol. with my anxiety disorder i noticed that if i ate small amounts frequently, it helped. not eating triggered it.u mentioned breathing helped u the other day. thats the way i control mine, with breathing excercises i learnt at councelling.i honestly wish u all the best as i wouldnt wish this on anyone.

[itcouldhappen]

how do you know if your dehydrated???
I do drink water and eat but barely during the day anymore?

[itcouldhappen]

yes I understand. But I've been to 7 different pro's who made me feel like they just wanted the money for their time. After 3 years of dealing with it, I backed off. No help. My gma still talks to patients she used to have. I don't take medication easily. I barely like to take Tylenol. But if I get my  BFP soon, I'll see a doctor for my stomach problem. And take whatever they give me.
I appreciate your concern though. I've been depressed before. Very depressed.
I'm also bipolar which sucks. I don't take
medicine for that either. I'm strong about taking meds that are anything other than Tylenol. But I'mma work through it all.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Just becuase one or two "professionals" didn't help you doesn't mean there aren't any.  Finding a counselor/psychiatrist that can help you is similiar to building a relationship.  You have to find someone you are comfortable with and that you trust.  Talking may not be the only therapy you need.  Give it a try with Grandma just don't rule out something else.  I waited way to long to get the help I needed and I sank really really low. I never ever want to feel that way again and I don't ever want anyone else to have to feel like that.  

[itcouldhappen]

Yes the famous hormones. I've tried it before and they werent much help.
So I called my gma lastnight and she knows all about the abuse. She really knows how to make me function again. Its easy for me to talk to her about anything. So she agreed to talk to me 3 times a week or as much as I want to talk....

She said if it doesnt help me, then she will go with me to see a professional.
She used to be a professional herself. :)

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'm glad your husband is understanding and will be there for you. I hope that you two get the BFP you hope for when the time is right.  I would like to point out that I, personally, think it is extremely important that you get emotional counseling to help you deal with the affects of the long term abuse.  With pregnancy comes many emotional and hormonal changes that can have a serious adverse affect on your mental state, especially with it being so fragile already from having endured what you have.  It is EXTREMELY easy to slip into full blown depression.  I've been there.  

[itcouldhappen]

ok ladies, after talking with DH, we have decided to fulfil trying for our own little bud on a stem! hehe.
Yes, I will be going to the doctor. Hopefully if I get a BFP it will be sooner. He reassured me he will be here for me, to help along my breathing to stay calm, and just relax. He is really great honestly. Its important I stop freaking out. I want to be pregnant so badly.
Being a mother is priceless and I will be so blessed if I get a BFP soon.

Ive read sometimes it's all in your head. Like your brain can control your emotions to the point that YOU yourself are not able to control what happens to your body.. If I keep breathing deep breaths, and put a control on my thoughts, take in fibers and exercise, I believe I can fight this! I believe I can WIN this battle!!!!
Please keep praying for me!
It's me against the devil so to speak. Let's help me and anyone with problems like this win!

[itcouldhappen]

I should get help before I become pregnant. We've already been trying. So after posting this earlier, I started pacing myself. Their were many people over today. Instead of having anxiety I took deep breaths, and took my time. I usually feel like I'm being swarmed. I can't believe I didn't feel the urge to leave immediately! I felt so good about that! I've been telling myself, if I were pregnant, this feeling would not help me at all.

I've taken my time and feel so good about it. Let's see, their were eight people here. I paced myself and talked to everyone of them. I even made it past my door, outside and away from the house. I can't tell you how good that felt! Ofcourse, I freaked for a second, But I tried controlling myself. I haven't felt the urge to "go" just because of them.


I know its not solved. But ladies, I was sooo relieved when I could just hang out!!!!
I get nervous very easily. I was molested as a baby through my teenage years. The abuse stopped just two years ago. So things make me nervous like a flip of a switch.
I'm thankful for all of your support and prayers. It really means so much.
I have so much further to go, but today I took the first step with prayer, posting, and breathing.




Thanks again for all your prayers and hugs!

[sam75]

im with the others u need to see a dr and get his opion and help. i too suffer with anxiety. i had a really bad disorder that made it impossible to even go as far out the door to check my mail, i forced myself to get councelling because i had two small children who needed a mother who could leave the house without hperventalating. it was the hardest thing ive ever done in my life but im glad i did. i still get anxiety attacks but ive learnt to control them to a point where ,even though uncomfortable i can still function. med help has an anxiety forum that u may wanna check out. oh and by the way, even though drs tried to force medication onto me, i only used counselling and diet to overcome my problem. that was just my pesonenal choice. goodluck.

[JoyRenee]

I am so sorry this is happening to you and I pray you overcome it!!! I'm glad you felt comfortable and safe enough to let us all know. And while I do not have an answer, I just wanted to give you an e-HUG and say GOOD LUCK!

[kjbutcher]

You need to see a doctor before you get pregnant.  I suffered from anxiety and phobias and it consumed my life.  I would go to work, sit there in total panic waiting for it to be time to go, go home and go right to bed because I wasnt in "pain" when I was asleep.  I lived like that for over 2 years until finally I mentioned it to my doctor.  he gave me xanax for the immediate results and lexapro which was also very fast acting.  I was surprised at how good life felt.  I had forgotten, or never known, that life could be fun and joyful.  Unfortunatley, you can not take lexapro for the month before you get pregnant.  You could probably get away with taking it for two months, going off of it for a month, and then getting pregnant.  really, with proper care for both your physical and emotional being, you will feel much better.  Dont be afraid to ask for help!  If I were you, I would try taking care of this before getting pregnant so you can enjoy your pregnancy!  It is a wonderful time that you dont want to miss out on.  Good Luck!

[itcouldhappen]

I have Many fears, like....
1.Being killed in a car
2.seeing a car pass the car I'm in.
3.not having a bathroom
4.passing gas infront of someone, even with my best friends.
5. Someone going to the bathroom after I've finished and then embarrasing me
6.someone hearing me "go" even if its just peeing.

Most seem silly, but they hurt my social life. I feel trapped in my room.

[itcouldhappen]

no, I'm thankful you found my post. It helps ease my pain when someone helps me feel anything other than a loner!!
I took some pepto bismol, off brand I think, anyways, its made my stomach stop hurting, but I feel like I could go to the bathroom still. I dont have the "I need to get there NOW!" feeling. Prayer and support is very helpful! Thank you so much.

I love Joyce! She's great. I just hope I can get through this. I want to hang out with my friends, and be around new people. Just scared it won't stop.
I dont have my own car, but one day I will, and I will stop this fear!

[spade22]

It sounds like you have an anxiety disorder and several phobias.  Something like this can turn into full-blown agoraphobia (fear of going out in public which can progress to the point where you are house ridden) if not treated.  The best thing  you can do for yourself is seek help from a psychiatrist - they can accurately diagnose you, provide you with cognitive therapy, and possibly medications.  They can also help you figure out where your phobias stem from which will really help you control them.  A regular doctor isnt much help because they have very little training in such areas so seeing a professional in the field is the way to go.  A fear, is a fear and it doesnt matter what the fear is of.  However, when it gets to the point that it starts effecting your life (as is the case with you) then getting the right help becomes important.

[ftogirl]

I think everyone has fears of many things but when it reaches the point that it's controlling your life, you need to try to gain control over it.  (Of course, I know you already know this.)  Now, I know that's easier said than done and takes a lot of work.  But it's good that you're dealing with this now rather than allowing it to control you the rest of your life.  Sure it may flare up from time to time later in your life, but if you can get a good grip on it now, you'll be way better off.  Just acknowledging that you need to do something about it is important.  Also, please realize you are not "crazy" and you have not "lost your mind".  And you're not alone; lots of people deal with different issues.  It sounds like you are a Christian person so I'm sure that you try to pray a lot and put things in God's hands.  That is a HUGE help.  One option is to talk with a counsellor or join a support group in your area.  Another option is to discuss this with your doctor who may suggest medication that can help.  Also, there are several books out there that could be a help to you.  I have one I purchased online from Barnes & Noble, I think it's called the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook or something like that; it had a lot of good points in it but it's not really from a Christian perspective.  I kind of prefer a Christian view on these kinds of things.  My mom has found Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer to be very helpful.  Another is Freedom from Fear; it's from a Christian perspective but I don't remember the author.  There's lots of different books out there that may be a big help to you so that might be something to check out.  In the end, it may be a combination of several of these things that will work for you and help you move past this.
Anyway, I don't really feel like the most experienced person to give out advice on this issue but I've dealt in a small way with anxiety issues myself and in my family and just wanted to share my thoughts.  
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope nothing I've said has made you feel worse.  Hang in there.  Brighter days are coming for you.

[itcouldhappen]

oh no you got it!
I do have a fear of crowds, not having a bathroom, or anything of the sort.
its screwing my life up. I should be praying right now! Im thankful for being alive just not with what I'm going through.

[ftogirl]

I'm wondering if you could have IBS.  I do, and during one point in my life it really took over my life.  My stomach would get sick and I would have to find a restroom immediately.  I no longer wanted to go places, like parks, etc., if I didn't know if they had restrooms or if I thought driving there would take too long to get to a restroom.  In time through diet, fiber, and God's help, my IBS has improved and I no longer live fearing I won't make it to the restroom.  
Is it the bathroom problem that is causing the fear or is something else triggering your fear which then upsets your stomach?  That makes a difference in how you can treat it.  If you're afraid of something else, like some people have a phobia of crowds or being around other people, that can be treatable through counselling, medication, etc.
I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding your question.

[pmperez]

I sent you a message

[itcouldhappen]

Btw, the only thing I've changed in my diet is adding more water, and less soda's.
And exercise, well I walk out in a field for a little bit.