When is the right time to tell people?

[nichole75315]

I know it's a silly question but I'm curious what has worked for all of the ladies.  I have chosen to remain quiet with all my previous children as I wasn't sure how family would react. I think my family has clues because several people have said, "don't go having any more now."  Which somewhat bothers me.  My family is finally complete, with someone who loves my children in the same way I do.  And I find myself to be more thrilled then ever to give him his first child.  He aggrees after this I can have my tubes tied and that our family will be complete.  However; if these people are going to discriminate on me I'm not sure if I am capable of handling that right now, or if I should put it off until I feel more confident.  I have 3 children and when my mother passed my brother was given to a family who was very abusive, in short, I fought to gain custody and was given it.  My "long term" plan is to be making a down-payment on a home shortly and moving "up" finally having my own goals and being focused, but in the back of my head I'm thinking it might be best to wait until I actually accomplish some of that (hopefully within the next 3 months).  My heart is torn as my hubby would like to shout it to everyone, but if he would, then it will spread and eventually blow up in my face.  Because my mother passed, my children, brother, and hubby are my only support, and they do not have a clue.  I know my brother will be upset because he feels stressed with the house as full as it currently is - exactly why I'm waiting until we all have a litte more space.  Or am I wrong to think that?  It can be so stressful feeling all of these exciting emotions and then thinking your letting people down.  I never planned my first 3, and I've proven to be a survivor.  I feel like this should be embraced.  With 3 children I never had a baby shower, I never had someone with me in my delivery room, and those things are sincerely exciting to me.  The fact that someone will be there.  My doctor is even amazed I had the father with me at an appointment already.  I'm just in dismay! I'm so lost!  I'm 26 right now... I'll be 27 just before I give birth.  I am very open to positive criticism but please don't pass judgement!  Thank you mommies!

[baby4bride]

I was in your exact same boat! im currently pregnant with my fourth child and finally have a man in my life that has taken the roll of father for my other three children and this will be his first. When we found out we told his family right away and they were super excited but i did NOT want to tell my family because they like to worry and stress me out more. In the end and after the initial shock of telling them they let it sink in and an hour later were going threw baby names with me. My fiance also told them that any negativity to put stress on me or baby wouldnt be tolerated and they could just live without seeing the baby if they were going to act like idiots. This is OUR family not theirs they have no right or reason to act as they do and try and judge us and talk about how we shouldnt have more kids blah blah blah. They will get over it hun, and if they dont give them the ultimatum of Not being in any of your lives. Because you dont need the stress. Its a HAPPY tie to celebrate a new life of a child. Not something to be worried or upset about. Hope this helps.

[pmummy]

I had an ectopic last year and told all my family at 5 weeks. I am now 6 and a half weeks and feeling very positive about this one so have told my nearest and dearest xx

[vipotts]

I waited until i was 20 weeks and knew the sex of my baby. :)