im due for my period n 4 days. Past week or more i have had lower light belly cramps right above the pubic line, past about 3-4 days my breaste have grown n become very sore, i have only felt sick a few times n got sick once. 2 days ago i became constipated and about 3-4 days ago gas startd.
You're right. I don't know your situation and how perfect it is. I'm just telling you that most guys your age would run as far and as fast as they can. My daughters biological father was 23 and he ran. Just know that until you have a child support order on your baby's daddy then he doesn't legally have to support you. Even if you do have a support order it still doesn't mean he will pay. Until you are married you are still a single mother whether you like to hear that or not. Having a baby is a huge responsibility even if you think you're ready and he can leave you at any time. You shouldn't depend on your man to "supply" for you in the event that he does leave.
he wuld support his child at least n thats all i need. As far as takn care of a baby, my niece n baby cuz are two n ive raised them, i watch them from about 6 n the morning till the time they go to bed everyday because they parents wrk so im ready!
Just cause you watch someone else s kid, doesn't mean your gonna be a good mother or fit enough to do it, with them not being your kids you can easily give them back whenever you want. When its yours its always yours. Ive been watching my niece day after day since she was born and im still terrified to be a mother, and im 20 years old with the excellent support of my fiancee, you loves me with everything he has. You may think you wont be scared or can do it, but its very very serious thing, and until it actually happens then your not gonna know what to expect. your only 18, are you still in school? Dont you want to go to college, live your life, get a job? Get married? I'm not trying to preach to you, I just don't want you to do something your not ready for. I watched my friend have a baby at 17, being a single mother cause the father was in and out of jail. It was so hard for her. I seriously do not think that you should be thinking about kids when you guys arnt even together, and your first response is "hell take care of us" do you really want to be taken care of? you should want to take care of your baby.. Be independent... Please take a test as soon as you can.. and if its negative then really think about some birth control. and if its positive i really hope you can be a good mother.
i completely understand bein 18 and bein in love and trusting that guy...but just be careful. let me just tell you the feeling you get when you see a cute baby on tv or babysit one for awhile is far different from actually having one of your own. when i found out i was pregnant i was shocked, theres a big difference once you realize your actually responsible for someone else other than yourself...for the next 18 or so years. even just being pregnant, you have to grow up soo much and decide that your life is not your own anymore. its pretty scary, and it took me awhile to accept it and make myself ready. im STILL working on it and my little one is gonna be here in 3 1/2 months. especially now that you're broken up, you shouldn't want that for your future baby...that baby needs its parents to be together if they're both capable of bein good parents...and i strongly suggest that if your not pregnant you get on birth control asap and at least rethink your decision to try to get pregnant. relationships don't always work out, even the ones that you believe will last forever, TRUST ME. it takes tons and tons of work and sometimes it still ends...so you have no guarantee that the baby's father would stick around for you much less for the baby. just please be careful. you have so much time to have a baby and a lot ahead of you in your future. i do not regret my baby, because i already love her. but the path im on is not one i would have chosen for myself before ariana came into my life.
if your due your period in 3 days,why dont u do a first responce preggo test.. u can test from as early as 6 days with them.. if u are preggo,regardless of your age,once a child is loved and cared for thats all that counts. im sure youd be a great mum. had my first at 15,it was hard,very hard ,but worth everthing. if your not preggo id recomemed you wait afew years and do everything you want to do. if you are preggo,enjoy it and look after yourself. lets know how u get on.
im sorry to hear that.im sure some day youl be blessed with a lil bundle.in the mean time enjoy ur life... im not sure what a chemical pregnancy is but if its a miscarraige,i planted 2 lil rose bushes out back for both my miscarraiges,it can help to have somthing x good luck x
I'm not here to lecture anyone because I have a cousin who is 18 and she's a very good parent to her son, however, being a nanny or babysitter is not the same as raising your own. Watching a child during the day is not the same as waking up numerous times throughout the night, and still having to continue on during the day. You are not raising them, you are babysitting them. There is a huge difference in that. Yes, you may have experience with children based on your nanny job or babysitting job but at the end of the day the parents come and pick them up and take them home, and the weekends you have free to do whatever you please. You get to shower when they leave, you get to have a social life, you get to run to the store once they are gone. So there is a big difference and you won't understand that until you are a parent. My 18 year old cousin loves her son but when all her friends are running off to parties on a Friday and Saturday night, she's left home once again to care for her child. She misses her youth, she misses her freedom. She's very responsible and it can be done but it's not that easy. As far as the father is concerned well, even though he says he will help you, there are no guarantees to that. Plus, you two are not together and not living together so his help will be scarce. He can come and go as he pleases and you will be the one who is caring for the baby the majority of the time. What will you do for finances? Who will pay for the baby? What health insurance will you have for the baby? Who will buy formula and diapers and wipes and clothing and all the necessities the baby will need? What if the baby is born with special needs or down syndrome? Who will watch your baby when you go to work? Having a baby is much more work than people think. It's exhausting, it takes a ton of work and it doesn't get easier as the baby gets older, there are constantly new challenges. Just ask a mother with teenagers and see if she will say it's easier. Bet the answer will surprise you. Just sit and think about things before you decide that a baby is what you want.
Hun you have been mis informed you do not ovulate 14 days after your period,I would suggest you look more into conception my dear and stop relying on your friends advice.as it incorrect.im 36 and have a 16 year old son,and multible mc.after years of trying to concieve can assure you you dont ovulate 14 days after period.on a 28 day cycle is most likely.but not on a 31 day cycle.
Im sorry you have gone through this,but if you want a child you can no w be prepared with the correct advice you need in order to concieve.all the best.
Relax, you sound so angry. If you're so responsible than why do you need help from your brother in law and sister? Shouldn't you be able to handle it since you are such a good mom? I wonder how the mother you live with would feel knowing that you call her children your own. I'm not saying you can't handle it, I never said that, I said that most people think they can handle it and when it comes down to it, they realize how difficult it is. What do these parents do? Since they never seem to be around. I mean gosh, why don't you adopt them and make them your own. I just can't fathom that people would have children and not ever be around and you never have a day off. I'm sorry for your miscarriage, I wouldn't wish that on anyone and I'm sure it is very emotionally painful for you, as well as physically painful, perhaps that's why you are so hostile but there is no need for you to take it out on people who are offering up advice. I mean that's what these forums are here for. Again, if you don't want any advice, don't post.
i personally don't think you should be trying to conceive a child and saying your sister and brother in law will help you. how is that in anyway fair to them? and i hate to tell you but theres no way your gonna be able to balance college and a baby while your child is still very young. so if you conceive again your college plans are out for now unless you plan on never being around your baby. and you can forget the medical field because that won't happen for another 5 or 6 years when your child is in kindergarten. and even then how you plannin on payin for college when you've got a child in school? its not all fun & games it is VERY expensive and there are very few 18 year olds that can afford it on their own. you cannot just go trying to have a baby and expect other people to pick up the slack when you succeed. do your sister and her husband know your trying? i would be furious if i were them. i think you need to think harder about this, just because your a nanny during the day.
oh & also i got pregnant unexpectedly at 18 im now 19 and i had to drop out of school.. who knows when ill be able to finish school, but it certainly won't be anytime soon..my college plans are on hold and now it is the baby's father's schooling that has taken priority as he only has about a semester or two left, i have no choice but to rely on him to support me for almost everything. everything else my parents have to take care of. im 6 months pregnant, its too late to get a job, i don't have a college degree, etc....think HARD before you try to have this life. don't get me wrong i love my daughter already and i do not regret her, but like i said this isn't the way i would have chosen to do things. your future child deserves more.
Bayybii- no one is trying to run you out of here. just trying to help u, like you asked. its not our faults you couldnt take the truth. But if you feel like you have to run away from reasoning then go.. but dont be angry with us on here. We are here to help one another, and obviously we have a bit more knowledge and maturity then you do.. If I was 18 and wanted a kid for some god reason, I would pray that there would be some one there to talk me out of it. But owell this is a great place to be, so your loss.
Mami- Yea we dont know anything.. Shes knows it all... but the problem is, shes making me out to seem like this mean person and im not, im just trying to help her like she asked for and she doesnt seem to get that. Im 20 years old and 29 weeks pregnant and terrified, and I have the world at my feet when it comes to support, but still nothing will ever make me stop worrying... gosh Im so just amazed...
This is why I stay away from the teen concern forum because it just baffles me the way some teenagers think. I know it happens but when teens come on and tell of their experiences and wish that they had waited and are genuinely concerned and they get beaten on and told off just for voicing their opinions, then it really bothers me. I'm not better because I'm 32 and waited, I just have more life experience and can offer the best advice I know how. You have experience because you are going through it as we speak. But sometimes we just can't get through and it's ok. At least you tried.
mami- yes I understand exactly what your saying. Im completely baffled by all of this. Its like I dont think ive ever been asked advise, then yelled at because it wasnt what they wanted.. that really upsets me.. If I would have known she was only 18 I would have just turned away. I didnt find out till last night, and I should have known since the way she acted. She should be put on Maury for that segment on teens trying to have babies. lol.. But yea even though im 20, thats still very young, and I would have never gotten pregnant if I didnt truely believe my fiancee would be there. I have a wonderful man. and even though hes always there for me.. being pregnant is so emotional and financially hard.. we have money, all the money this baby could need... but its still very scary.. And some girls say well all they need is love... yes they need tons of love, but that is not all they need.. I could never let someone else take care of my kid, when I was the one that purposely brought it in the world. I planned my son, but I have the responsibility, love, maturity, money, family for it.. Yea at least we tried. thats all I can say..
Ammanda: I so agree with you. I was watching and reading all the post last nigh and I was really getting irritated with it all but hopeful these young girls who do come on here do get the advice that they are looking for and not take offense if its not what they are looking for.
I am 27 years old I already have 2 wonderful girls they are almost 8 and 4. But I was one of those girls who were 19 and pregnant, I was working full time and going to school full time, I was not ready, Yes I wanted kids but not at that time, but things happen and depending on from person to person they will make there choice. I had my little girl and NO I wouldnt have changed her for the world but I do wish it was alittle bit later, at least after I was done with school. I ended up having to drop everything (difficult pregnancy cuz I was young) And now here I am 10 years out of High School and doing things like I am a college student but I have a family, Now instead of just working and going to school 10 years ago, I am full time mom, wife, student, VERY VERY little room for ME time. I do have a wonderful husband from the very beginning (been together 10 years), it has been tough even financially. We are a family of 4 that lives on one income all because we started out early, I had no education to get a real job ,except High Diploma, and now days thats not even good enough anymore, But I wish everyone the best of look on everything in your lives.
i think some ppl on here are being very hard on this girl.she came on asking a question about symtoms of pregnancy.she is entitled to be here just as much as everyone else.if she wants to have a baby thats up to her,please if your not happy with that,then keep your opinions to yourself..she does not need smart remarks or to be told not to post here. the kids she minds may not be hers but at least she has some experience with children and is not completely blind to how hard it will be.it may be little experience but its more than most 18 year olds would have.if your not happy with her intentions then dont post on her tread. she is a young girl and will need support so i hope she keeps posting and is not put off by some ppls reaction.
No one was being nasty or smart. She was the one who got bent out of shape because someone had said to her that they had wished they waited and told their experience. That part of the post was deleted because she got obnoxious with her. I also was not being harsh, I was asking her how she was going to handle all of the responsibilities that come with having a child. Just because you babysit or nanny it doesn't make you fundamentally capable of taking care of a child. You are not responsible for paying for all the necessities nor for health insurance and medical bills. It's hard and all people here were giving their experiences, she chose to take it in the wrong way. It wasn't until then that people got smart with her. Like I said before I don't judge young parents because my cousin is one and I support her whole heartedly. She does a great job and is still continuing her education but she is doing it on her own. The baby's father is there to an extent but she gets public assistance and her mother and father help pay for the other things she may need. There isn't one day that goes by that she doesn't say, this is hard, I miss my old life. She loves being a mommy but if she could go back in time, she would do things differently.
i see what your saying,but dont forget this girl is only 18. pregnant or not,she is very young and most of us here are older,more mature and experienced.. i think given her age ppl shouldnt be getting on her back.at 18 girls have enough problems going on,coming on to a site like this she should feel safe and accepted.if you think her responces are immature,just leave it,move on to the next posts.if someone gets bent out of shape,leave them to it,especialy if there young,i think you know what i mean.
if a young girl wants to get pregnant,believe me,theres nothing anyone can say on here that will change her mind.there going to go and do it anyway,so no need to agree or disagree,but just be here for support.
I hear what you're saying but sometimes you just hope that some of them will be open to hearing what some more experienced people have to say. I'm not even talking about an old fart like me...lol. You hope that they could see what someone who is their age experienced because there is common ground there. I've answered her posts before but frankly, when you hear someone say that they have experience babysitting and so they know what it's like to be a mother, it sort of makes you want to say, hold it, you know nothing about being a parent until you are one. But this is a public forum and whether she's 18, younger or older, you will get differing opinions. Just because she's 18 doesn't mean she can't hear the truth. I support plenty on these forums, but I can choose to ignore it or I can say something. One day, she will get herself pregnant and look back and say, wow, those ladies on that forum were right, this is hard.
tinytoes-thanks so much for having my back. All dem ladies think cus wow they got experience or w hatever that everyones life n pregnancy will be the same. My friend was 18 when she had her kid, 19 now. From like a week outta the hospital she wrkd, we graduated high school together. She stil wrks, her n the father arent together but share responisbilties, so juss because ppl got a kid they dnt bno how sumone elses life will be. So i wish theyd stop pretty much sayn bc im 18 i cnt mother a child, or care for on finacially
Bayybii- No one said that you couldn't mother a child just because are 18. Any one could mother a child if they wanted to.. But it takes more then experience, or love. And just because your friend did it, doesn't mean you can. And tinytoes is right, you cant stop someone from doing what they want, all you can do is try to help them, which is what we did. And you couldn't handle it.. so please no not try and play the victim card. We didn't do or say anything hurtful.. We just offered the truth.. The truth hurts sometimes. Yea no ones life and pregnancy is the same, but its all hard. And do you have a job? no you said your sister and her husband would take of it.. Yea I would help my sister to if she needed it. But they shouldn't have to help you, they shouldn't be put in the position, just cause you couldn't wait until you settled down with a job and a husband.
Again, no one is saying that Bayybii, you are perfectly capable of taking care of a child. However, it's a lot harder when you are trying to finish school and work when you have a baby then if you get established first and then have a baby. You and your boyfriend aren't even together anymore, so wouldn't you rather share your experience with a man who is stable in your life, that you live with and have committed yourself to? Wouldn't you like to go on vacations and explore every bit of your life before having a child and once you do, you won't be able to these things so freely? It's not about ability to care for a child but it does help to have your life in place before bringing a baby along for that ride. That's all, it's nothing to get upset over. You can do what you want when you want to, just be a little bit more open minded that's all.
Bayybii I very happy for you that you feel confident that you can do this. I know what you mean on you feel like a mother already to the children that you care for. I did the same thing I was the oldest of 4 girls at 15 years old, my mother was a single mother so that left me with my sister all the time. Al we are trying to do is just make sure you know you options and the difference between being the living babysitter and being a full time mother. Having the feeling and caring for your own child is a lot different that caring for children that you did not give birth too. Do you ever think that once you do have your own child that you will want to care for sisters children? Have you discussed this situation with your sister and how does she feel about actually helping you out with your child, I know the thought of family helping out is all great, a and if thats the case for you I am happy for you but if it turns the other way, and sometimes there are family member want the help from you but they dont want to do the same for you. Everyone here is just really trying to look out for you. My advice to you would be is just to really live life and enjoy every bit of it while you can and IF you are or get pregnant just let it happen but just done press the issue, make sure no matter what situation you are in right now, make sure by the time the baby is here that you can take care of the baby all on your own, just in case these people who say that they will help you turn there backs on you, We just want the best for you just really know what you are getting into and try not to jump down people throat because you didnt like what they had to say Good Luck
yes i dnt have to finacially care for these kids but i care for them as a parent wuld. And i get paid to do this as well, so yes im finacially able. I thnk i had a miscarriage but ppl are makn me thnk i culd be prego. But u are all acting like because im 18 finacially im not ready, YOU DNT NO ME! For all u no im some hi maintance, rich chick living in a huge 3 story house in cali or sum crap, u dnt no me or my life style. So if ne one wuld further like to continue this convo msg me, im on my mobile and tired of going thru all these cmnts
You said the doctor said you miscarried. So I'm sure thats what happened. If your so unsure then take a test. its not that hard, ask your sister to buy you one or something.. But for one you dont get paid for watching your own kid thats for sure, and can your really support a child on baby sitting money?
im sorry if i have offended you in anyway, this wasn't my intention. i just wanted you to realize how hard it is. i can't even say from total experience because i am still pregnant and the full reality of it hasn't hit me yet. but what has hit me is scary enough and i wouldn't want anyone going through it or their baby for that matter. and just because you get paid to care for these kids, thats great! but that money is going to stop when you have your own child...are you really going to be balancing a newborn baby and someone else's kids 24/7? if you can do that then i am impressed, but your newborn baby needs as much attention and care as you can give. and, unless you keep working, you won't have that money much longer. even if you have saved it, eventually it will run out and then what will you do? your right i don't know you and neither does anyone else on here, we're just tryin to help. no one is tryin to hate you or assume we know your life, we're just giving you the facts that we DO know. but again im sorry if i have offended you in anyway, i was tryin to help you. i hope whatever decision you make will be best for you and your future child. i know that you didn't come on here asking for advice/opinions and i know from experience that that can be frustrating, so im sorry for being somewhat hypocritical. i just saw this as an important thing and i wanted to address it. but ive given all the advice i think i can give..i wish you all the best.
You are reading things the wrong way noone thinks you're rich at all. I don't know where you are getting that. Again we are just telling you like it is. At this point talking to you is like beating a dead horse. Good luck.
I've been reading all the posts here, and what I can kinda make out of Bayybii2010's, and I've never before seen such offense. The advice the women on here gave was extremely good and also thoughtful. I'm 20 and utterly terrified of how I'm going to do this. I can't work, and we're hoping my fiance's paychecks will cover what we need. Family say they will help, but do you really want to crawl to them for everything? And they will in the end get extremelly sick of supporting you and your child. All families do. They're not a charity. Sure. For all anyone does know. You're rich. If this is true, you don't need an ex boyfriend for support, nor your family. This is why people didn't assume you had money. But you can't jump down people's throat because they do have experiance. You're 18. They've been there and done these things. At least attempt to consider what they say. I'm sure they know more of it than you.
yes it is realy hard to raise a child,not been able to go out with ur friends,you cant just get up in the morning and go bc you have to feed and change and dress the baby,you have to bring the child every where with you,and then the money issue,besides all the obvious nappies food etc,you have to think of doctors fees for when the child is sick,witch can happen alot.clothes for the child,preschool fees,then school.there is so much things to consider.and dont forget u have the lovely body of an 18 year old,that will never be the same again! just add it all up before deciding what u want to do.
on the other hand im saying its hard,im not saying its impossible.there is plenty of girls 18 and younger that have done it and are doing well.mind u if u ask them i bet most regret not waiting. i was 15 having my first,i got a job and a one bed apartment,i worked very hard to support my child,of corse my ex left when i told him i was pregnant,i never got support off him nor have i seen him since.but i done it on my own.there was times when i ate nothing but pasta for weeks just so i could feed my child and pay bills.i had to grow up very quick.up until i was 15 i was a happy bouncy child,from 15 until now i can hounestly say ive had a very hard life.but now im married,i have my own buisness,everything is great for us now,but it took years to get to this, years that i wouldnt wish on anyone. but i wouldnt listen to anyone when i was 15 so i just know there is no piont in trying to convice somone to not have a baby.if she wants a baby so much then she will get pregnant.and she will love the baby so much,she will also be crying at 4am while walking around the house trying to stop the child from crying,but its all part and parcell.this will be her child,she will love it and care for it and would do everything in her power to provide for and protect her child,because she wont be a young girl anyone,shel be a mum. and maybe she wont have the designer clothes or the expensive stroller with all the mod cons,but she will give the child the best that she can.it is very hard raising a child but NOT impossible and i dont think being 18 is a factor.she could be a better mother than most 30 or 40 year old mothers out there.
Age can be a factor. Maturity can too. She's showing hers to be far below that of someone who can care for a child, and do it well. Of course, defensivness will take over when you think you're being attacked. But you can't assume that because you can babysit and family says they will take care of you that you can be a single mother. The father says he will help. How many other dads say the same thing? How many bolt at the first chance they get. Is she considering all the possibities and what if's? It's selfish and she should consider the life her child would get instead of what she imagines it could get.
Now. By all means it can be done. It happens everyday. This is just what I get from reading the comments I've seen posted and reactions to them. No one can change anyone's mind once it's set, but you can hope they might try to at least see where they are coming from instead of insulting the people who try to help.
well nobody can sum up this girl because of a comment she made.she is only 18 but could be a very mature 18 year old who got affensive for whatever reason,but you dont know her so cannot judge her. getting back to the piont,she is welcome to post here,pregnant or not, ttc or not,or just questions about pregnancy.. so if ppl can just stop judging other ppl,either give support or not,regardless of age. she did not come on asking opinions on whether or not she should get pregnant.everyone has a diffrent opinion that should be kept to themselves unless there asked for it.just to remind ppl,she came on asking about symtoms of pregnancy,and it ended up a debate on whether she should have a baby or not.its her chioce if she gets pregnant or not,its nothing to do with anyone else,now if she comes back and asks if she should get pregnant then by all means beat her down with those nasty brushes some of u seem to hold. but until then,stick to the question that was asked and hold your negitive comments.
well if you read from the first post witch i did, i dont see her being rude, i see ppl getting at her for her age and because she minds kids.thats where i see it starting,and her standing up for herself. read it through. and i cant see how ppl were helping,i can only see judging, and yes im getting at the age thing because thats what most ppls problem seems to be.would there realy be comments like that if she was 29 or 30, dont think so.
I'm not even wasting more time on this. You can keep defending it for her. Point is, anyone can believe what they want. What I posted is what I saw and read. People only asked a few questions. She got defensive and went about it wrong. In the end, it doesn't really matter.
Posts were deleted, you came on late in the game. She was extremely rude to someone prior to the comments we made, that's why the post got the way it did. I thought I had stated that before. You keep bringing the post back to the top because you keep making the comments. It had already died but your latest responses has put it back on the board. Maybe you should take your own advice.
well seems how i can relate to the girl and am not bashing her i feel i can post here, so taking my own advise,yeah that makes sence! i am not making the comments i am answering comments left here by ppl seems how u have all scared this girl off, and shes not here to defend herself. anyway stick to what u know
She is here, see post right underneath...she realizes she wasn't so nice and asked for more advice. I just sent you a pm. I understand you relating to someone, I think we all have been in a place where we can relate. I don't blame you for defending her, but things that she said that were really offensive to one poster were deleted. It wasn't necessary and that's why people said what they said. It wasn't to hurt her, they were just trying to give her some advice since she's trying to get pregnant by her ex-boyfriend. All the girl said to her was maybe you should wait since you aren't with him anymore and gave her own experience and the girl lashed out. Again, those posts were deleted. I have no argument with you, I actually admire the fact that you came to her defense. I just wanted you to know why the post got the way it did.
im due for my period n 4 days. Past week or more i have had lower light belly cramps right above the pubic line, past about 3-4 days my breaste have grown n become very sore, i have only felt sick a few times n got sick once. 2 days ago i became constipated and about 3-4 days ago gas startd.
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