Advice please!

[ImDelicate]

I am 23 and 34 weeks pregnant and my mother is 42 and 37 weeks pregnant...throughout the entire pregnancy all she has done is bash me and bad mouth me. I don't know how much more I can take. She acts as if our pregnancies are a competiton or something. When I visit home she disappears somewhere and I barely see her and if we are in the same room she ignores me. My 6 year old brother wanted to feel my baby move but I guess she was asleep, so my mother says "you can feel my tummy my baby is always moving" in a sly way. Or another time my cousin wanted to take a pic of us and she said touch each other's belly....my mother barely touched me. Now my cousin is throwing us a dual baby shower this Saturday and I don't know how this is going to pan out! I really want to tell her something about herself but she is my mother and I don't want to be rude! Any advice? Please help! Thank you ladies for your time!

[Babyluv0913]

I would think that she is jealous of you because she is old and pregnant. You are young and pregnant...I would chalk up her attitude to pure envy and laugh at her everytime she says or does something rude or sly.

[maddy3983]

There could be a lot of reasons for her comments. I know a lot could do with hormones and mood swings. But maybe she does feel threatened as u won't have time for her as much anymore or maybe she is jealous cuz ur having a girl. There is no way to know for sure until u tell her how u feel. I mean I know she is your mother and you love her and don't want to upset her but I have had 4 kids and on my 5th and I won't tell my mom cuz when I got with my bf my mother insisted on calling me a ***** and constantly down talks me and puts me down so now I say f her I don't need her in my life as she was never there for me and I have been on my own since 13. She was too busy with her life and was never there as a parent should be and the way I see it she is jealous that I am such a great mom and am doing very well in my life and she always bashes on me cuz she is jealous cuz she wasn't the one who raised me and made me the person I am today.... I hope u decide what u think is right and I wish u the best and congrats on ur baby girl...

[ImDelicate]

I totally understand where you are coming from havincinco....I have tried to place myself in her shoes and I know this isn't easy for her either. But she makes it very hard when she makes comments like "that baby ain't gonna call me grandma either". At one point she said she wanted me to come home to have her so she can help me....my last visit she told me out of the blue...."you can't come here...I have a baby of my own on the way" Like these are the things that completely throws me off...and this was months ago...she doesn't even call to check up on me or anything....idk, but thank you for you advice, it means a lot to me!

[ImDelicate]

That is exactly how I feel!!! I've tried talking to her but it doesn't work and I'm scared once the babies are here this madness will continue! I don't know what to do!

[havincinco]

Just complete speculation, but it's possible that your mom is feeling a little theatened. Its always hard to wrap up your "fertile years" , and you are just beginning yours. It may be causing her to miss out on the awesomeness that comes from having grandkids. Its also a real hit to our ego and mortality, especially if she has been happiest in her childbearing years. If, big if, you can maybe look at her with a little pity too. Shes using your sibling like a child compares toys, but it may be the only way for her to deal with it right now. Hopefully all will be righted when she sees she may not have another girl herself, but has a beautiful little granddaughter instead! Good luck to you and your mom!

[Silver0514]

Thats a hard one! Maybe you just need to tell her how you feel and tell her if she has a problem then maybe it would be best if you didnt go around eachother for awhile. I would not want to be around my mother if she is already acting like that befor baby is even born. Just imagine how she will act once babies are born. She will make your daughter feel as if she is constantly in competion with her uncle constantly and that can cause emotional problems in long run. And maybe she is also just upset at becoming a grandmother while she is still having babies. Very selfish.

[ImDelicate]

Oh and I'm having a girl (my first) and she is having another boy (I was her first and this will be her 4th boy)...she really wanted a girl and I ended up with a girl....didn't make the situation any better!