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Pregnancy: Ages 25-34 Community
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Avatar universal

Monster-n-law!?

I don't have the best relationship with my mother-n-law. 2 years ago I married her son. I've known my husband for 7 years. And 2 years ago she told me to my face that she hated me before we got married. Well, it was more ugly. Now, that we are having a baby boy. She still ignores me. And she acts like she talks to me and puts on this show infront of her son like she is the most fn! Nicest person! Omg! That witch. When he's not present not a word! Totally ignores me! I've talked to my husband about it. He doesn't say much about it. And says nothing to her. I don't want to have my baby around her. If she has that feeling towards me should I worry how she'll treat my baby?
18 Responses
7110266 tn?1392139611
That is hard to deal with and answer.  Honestly you don't know how she will treat the baby could be nice could be mean.  I just wouldnt leave alone with him nor allow her to you house when yourhusband is  not present.
Avatar universal
That really sounds like a good idea. I'm even second guessing telling her when I go into labor.
Avatar universal
I've been dealing with mine for 6 years. My husband is totally oblivious. Be careful and don't let her walk all over u. Mine loves to use my children against me constantly interfering and trying to make me out to a be the bad mother. I wish I would have set and kept better boundaries from day one. If she doesn't agree with something she will call hubby with her 'concerns'
Avatar universal
Im so glad mine lives across country,  sorry you hsve to deal with this, on a funny note when she does die you can say ding dong the witch is dead lala la la la, jk I read that in the news some uk lady did that. Her husband wasnt very happy about it lol.
5787844 tn?1376082584
I told my mother in law way back.....
If you cannot treat me like a human being then you will not have the pleasure of being around my children. Simple as that. Why should my children see someone treating their mother so disrespectful?
They shouldn't. You wouldnt want your kids to see you and your husband fighting! Same goes for any family member!
I also told my husband that if he didnt put his mother in check I would and he was not gonna like the way that I cut his umbilical.
He had a conversation with her...basically... "Im a grown man,married with kids, back off" and it was effective to a certain extent and it got better over the years. It took a 6 mth separation from my husband for him to see that I mean business!

Things are much smoother now, really. She let up. I think she knows Im not the antichrist now. Well... her daughter got married...so her attention is on him lmao
Avatar universal
My Husband Told Me That He'll Always Listen To Me Over His Mother. I Think That's How Marriages Should Be. You Should Really Ask For More Respect From Your Husband.
7620634 tn?1392953193
My future mil is awful. She didn't want to tell anyone in her family that my fiance and I had gotten engaged. Then when we told her we were expecting she made it all about her. "Oh why are you doing this to me? I am in no position to support you guys. Don't come running to me when you need something." It was horrible, I was really hoping that us having a baby would help her warm up to me but it's made it almost worse. I wanted to break down and cry but I made the decision that if that's how she wanted to act then screw her. We don't need her help and I wouldn't want to ask her for help even if we did.
Avatar universal
Thank you ladies. I think setting some boundaries work really work. I'll make my husband listen and I agree that he should put his foot down. Lol. Singing the witch is dead. Omg. That was a good laugh. Well, now I know this will never go away. But I really don't want my future kids to see that. Especially! If she does respect me. But I appreciate your advices and stories.
Avatar universal
Thank you ladies. I think setting some boundaries work really work. I'll make my husband listen and I agree that he should put his foot down. Lol. Singing the witch is dead. Omg. That was a good laugh. Well, now I know this will never go away. But I really don't want my future kids to see that. Especially! If she does respect me. But I appreciate your advices and stories.
6674791 tn?1396218750
My husband has always put me (and our family) first... I, thankfully, do not have a terrible MIL, but we have gotten into tiffs about trivial BS where his dad (not her) held a grudge... so he decided to go off on me and there was no way that I was going to tolerate it... but, if I was in that situation, I would definitely not tell her when you go into labor... the hospital is a stressful environment as it is... and you dont want her to try to focus all the attention on her... my sister's MIL did that... she created drama in the hospital room and was kicked out by her son- orders of my sister... just don't tolerate her BS
Avatar universal
I agree withTreksy. Its about respect. Let her know let her know you expect nothing more, and you'll accept nothing less. All you want is a happy and healthy family, including happy and healthy interactions with grandma. If she's disrespecting her grandkids mother, in front of them or not, its not healthy. Your husband should know these things (his wife deserves respect.)and that being passive isn't the way to fix it. You two being on the same page would be ideal.
Maybe try also just you approaching her (you and her alone - to test her ignoring skills lol) and asking to do something with her in preparation for the new baby, being genuinely nice. Try an approach she can't ignore, direct to her face. If she is down right rude, you, her and your hubby need to sit down together, with your husband not being so passive. You'll wanna fix this before the baby comes.
Avatar universal
FTB! LoL dont put up with no bullsht, from her.  You didnt marry her, nor create this baby with her so if she wants to be a part of his life she had better tighten up, stop being fake, and learn some respect!
Avatar universal
Im reading these posts and I feel awful none of you ladies have the support or reapect u all deserve  I guess the term mother in law from hell really is true. Im quite the opposite my relationship with my M.I.L is exactly the same as with my own mum in fact my M.I.L was at both delivery of both my boys holding my hand thru both cesarean sections.I hope all of ur M.I.L wake up and smell the roses and treat u ladies better xx
Avatar universal
I recently just had to cut the mother in law and father indowngrades f my life a d my kids life.  Long story short they got all mad when I said my husband myself and my kids needs more family time just us. We'll they didn't take that Very well. So his dad gets on facebook calls me a DA and downgrades his own son. His mom told him I'm the reason he has no friends and all this mess trying to come between out marriage.  Just a awful situation all around. the 'm due May with my son. I've told my husband that's his parents I would never tell him he couldn't speak to them.  As for me and my babies I don't want them around period. And go figure his mom tries to come crawling bacm because the new baby will be here.
My husband stands by me and takes my side 100%. I hope it all works out for you.  But you know what's best for you and your baby. And I know it's stressful and that's Def something you don't need
Avatar universal
Well u took her little boy I know he w ufeel maybe she will love the baby and she is just saying that to **** u off I'm sure she will love the baby they always say things like that then they love the baby. Just remember u took her baby away. Maybe u should ask her y she doesn't like u
Avatar universal
My mil is great. But the woman who raised my hubby is awful. She is demanding and hateful and my hubby will not let her get by with any crap at all. Right now she is demanding that we tell her what the baby is and  he was like ah nooo! And she is so mad she won't talk to either of us. Most peace we have had in years.
Avatar universal
Omg, well I'm not so sure if I should involve her in anything. These are her words "B****! I hate you!"... I've asked why she hates me. Apparently,  she can't come up with anything. And she also did tell my husband the he doesn't have any friends (girl friendsesp!) is because of me. It is totally stupid! I told my husband and he told me that he doesn't need girl friends. Like are you serious lady!? She was pushing girls towards him. But I agree! I did not marry her. I'm having a baby with her lol. So, I honestly think she gonna cause more trouble if she is there when I'm having the baby.
7558356 tn?1410718909
My Mother In Law Can Sometimes Be Oblivious To Things. When We Told My In Laws Our Names For Our Girl (Which Is Selah, Pronounced Say-lah) She Was Convinced It Was Shelia, Then Shayla, Then Sabrina. My Husband Had To Freak Out On Her And My Father In Law Because My Father In Law Tried To Tell Us That We Were Pronouncing Selah Wrong And It Was See-lah.

Then My Sister In Law Didn't Invite Me To Her Bridal Shower And My Mother In Law Never Said Anythin To Her Along The Lines Of You Need To Invite Her Because She's Family. Especially Since My Husband And I Are Going To Pay Over $1000 To Fly Home For Her Wedding.

It's Crazy And I Totally Understand. The Best Thing To Do Is Get Your Husband Involved. It Seems When I Have Mine Deal With His Family It Takes Stress Off Of Me And The Problems Get Solved.

Good Luck! :)
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