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Pregnancy: Ages 25-34 Community
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Avatar universal

Sex...

I am nearly 12 weeks pregnant and I am completely off sex... I have never been comfortable in my own skin and my bf is constantly asking to see my "new big boobs" and I hate it if I don't like them why should I be flashing them about for him, he works Fifo so when he's home the expectation for sex is there he hints at it but i just can't seem to bring my self to have sex with him... Has any one else experienced this kind of behaviour while pregnant?  
11 Responses
Avatar universal
Yes I think everyone does. And I hear ya with the self esteem issues,but again I think everybody has them. But I have commented on this issue a lot. I think even though we as women aren't feeling it we owe it to our men to keep them happy. It's a give and take thing. Men and their drive is so completely different than ours. It is very important to them, like for us we want help around the house and affection they want sex. Can't blame them, they are just programmed different. After 15 years I've learned if I don't want him straying or developing a pen addicting
Avatar universal
Stupid text editor. ..a porn addiction. But I give it up for him and I get my massages and help with the dishes. But realistically they need it more than we do. That's why they were made to keep seeding while we only grow one seed per year
Avatar universal
I understand completely I actually posted something about it not to long ago. I've had 3 kids an I'm on my fourth with my 1st 2 It was a very normal healthy pregnancy. But I was never exactly comfortable with my body so wen I started to get bigger it made me super uncomfortable. An I had no desire for sex at all. An the guy I was with at the time didn't understand at all. An it ended up creating a big problem between us. An he ended up cheating on me with a few different women. Now my last to pregnancy I've been high Risk due to medical reasons I can't have sex.... which in all honesty I'm so glad I can't but after posting an hearing some comments people posted about just keeping there man happy so they don't stray that's crazy if he truly loves u then maybe he will understand. My man understands I can't have sex now that I took him to the dr a had him explain but I also understand he has needs so as long as I feel good that day I try an make sure his needs r taking care of too. But even if I didn't do this my man definitely aint going to stray or become a porn addict. An if ur man truly loves u if u talk to him an explain how u feel maybe  he will understand.
Avatar universal
My partner is super understanding and he is a true gentle man I think sometimes he just speaks before he thinks and he never pressures me iv shown him websites and articles about other woman who Arnt into it at this stage of pregnancy either and he's understanding I just feel bad but at the same time I can't bring my self to have sex if I know I'm not going to enjoy it and he wouldn't want me to just lay there either thanks for the advice x
Avatar universal
I had the same thing this pregnancy. Totally off sex. My bits and pieces were definitely not what they were like before and it made me very uncomfortable.
My husband understands. Yes we have had sex a few times during the pregnancy but hardly ever, he has not strayed, not developed a porn addiction, spends longer in the shower which I am totally fine with and when I get my sex drive back after Bub is born, I'll make up for it. If your husband is an immature, selfish, arsehole than you may have issues with him straying, but a decent husband or partner would understand.
Please don't feel bad about the lack of sex drive as its normal. Just explain how you are feeling to your partner so he understand and doesn't just think he is being ignored.
Avatar universal
Don't forget, most men are incredibly turned on by their pregnant wife and most likely sees you as a goddess. My body isn't perfect but if he thinks it is and wants to see my girly parts, you bet your *** I'm showing him lol! I know it's hard to give it up during this time, but you need to compromise for their sanity and please them somehow for a happier home.
Avatar universal
When i was having extrem morning sickness I was never in the mood. But my husband loves my growing body and the way I look pregnant. So I bought him a flesh lite, it's a masterbater, and i will give him a strip tease as he uses it. It helps him feel satisfied and I don't have to have sex when I m not in the mood.
Avatar universal
I totally agree with jholli. Yes men need to feel appreciated too, but they aren't the ones going through this! My husband is fantastic and never pushes me, always telling me he loves my body and boobs but i dont feel sexy nor do I find it comfortable to have sex. We have tried on several occasions... Its just extremely uncomfortable for me and if he's worth his salt.... He'll be keeping your feelings and comfort in mind when hinting. Saying that you need to do it to keep your men from straying... Are we living in the 20's???? Im sorry but personally if your man isn't man enough to understand what the woman is going through then he's no man at all. Im 30wks 4days, finding slightly easier now... But in my first and second trimesters I felt completely alien during sex.
Talk to your OH explain how you're feeling, show him sites about pregnancy and sex. Hopefully he'll understand it's not all about him.
Avatar universal
Biology hasn't changed. We live in a self centered culture where "me" is the most important, but that doesn't cultivate good relationships. That's why the divorce rate is so high, people have unreasonably high expectations of others but don't hold themselves to higher standards. We as a culture have to learn empathy in order to have real intimacy. Men want respect, honor, and physical acceptance. They feel loved when their woman desires them and physically accepts them. Women want emotional acceptance, security, and stability. We feel loved when our men don't judge us but understand where we are coming from and respond to our concerns. By understanding root causes, situations can be addressed. Try reading the book love languages to get a better understanding. Everyone has word symbols, and your word symbol for sex isn't his. The way you feel appreciated isnt how he does. Love isn't an emotion it's an action.you show love not feel it. A relationship is work, it's not easy, and it requires compromises and negotiations. I'm trying to give a different perspective, not just say ya he's a jerk, men are pigs, you're right he's wrong, you should do this and that to hurt him back. This isn't just about the act of having sex, it's the bonding from it which he is being denied and will result in an emotional separation depending on how long he goes without.
Avatar universal
I will be 17 weeks tomorrow and im not interested in sex. i feel bad for my husband.
Avatar universal
in pregnancy the.. women usually not intrested in sex. but men always want to do.. reason is men can not feel the pain of women.
according to me during pregnancy.. ignore sex.
if my wife got pregnent. i will never ask her for sex.
yeah you can do forplay.. but not sex....



bikram singh majithia
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