This is Sad

[Sass508]

If I die during child birth (which obviously I don't plan to!!) I would not want my 6 year old sons father to have custody. Right now I have sole physical and legal custody but he is allowed visits.
My fiance is more of a father to him but he would not be able to bear the responsibility because of his work schedule ect.. I would want my mom to be his guardian.

Does anyone else think about this or am I crazy. Should I put this in writing?? It's really important to me. (My mom knows this is what I would want, her and I are very alike)

[b4b]

Get a will in place with specific instructions as to what will happen with your child.

[mw89]

Ladies I am really glad I read this. I am getting custody written up with my kids dad soon and honesty he does not need any custody of these kids because of how he is. What is like to have the court give sole custody to you ladies. What did you have to do? He really is a bad dude and I worry when they go with him

[nonishy]

Put it in writing and both you and your mother take it to a notary republic.  That should do it....i had to do something similar about 9yrs ago.

[wyattsmom2015]

Put it in writing how the insurance money is to be spent. Then for what us left to your child make arrangements to have it put into a trust so no one can touch it.

[lkaykirk]

If something happens to hubby and I our son would go to my oldest sister. It's the only logical choice for us. My mom already has 2 grandkids living with her. My hubby's dad has a horrible horrible back and a new born would be way too much to put on them. We are making our will out this month. I wanted it done before our baby is born.

[Sass508]

Thank you for all the advice!!

[wyattsmom2015]

If you have sole custody and all he gets is visits apparently he has proven to be unfit to have joint custody. You should be able to leave him to your mom.

I have the same fear with my kids my husband had too much of his mom rub off on him when it comes to parenting. I don't feel he would be able to do a good job of caring for my children because he has to much attitude and selfish behavior that is unacceptable for a parent. I would like to find someone that is more fit to be a role model and has better parenting skills. I would then have to find a way to get him to sign a paper that in the event of my death he gives up his rights to the children. I always thought the person would be my brother but since I moved here and have had close contact with him I noticed he now has a drinking problem and has become mean selfish and abusive so I changed my mind. I just hope nothing bad happens.

[Sass508]

Hmm. The ex is currently in rehab, has history of violence towards me and  other women, drug use, huge rap sheet, no job, Scum of the earth.. but his parents are relentless. I'm so scared because technically he is the parent. If they got him my son's life would be ruined!

I'm going to write something out and go into great detail about my reasoning. And then hope to God they don't go against a mother's very reasonable wishes :(

[mommaDof3]

If you have a will or need to make one,  put that in there.  AND As Fas Life Insurance goes, you Appoint Who That goes to I believe,  but absolutely establish who you would like to have guardian ship of your child.

[mommaDof3]

Legally, her father would have full custody, if heaven forbid anything ever happen to you, unless there is a concern for her safety in his care.  I would speak to your attorney and see what could be done...but yes definitely put in writing if you can.

[koyama83]

My 6yo son's father has no physical or legal rights either. You and I should both have something in writing. It's sad and hard to think about but it's best to be prepared.

[mmjea2015]

Why will you die?

[Mrs_MP3]

As his only surviving parent, the decision to parent his own child would be his, regardless of what you put in writing. The only thing I could think would keep him from that right would be if he had already been proven unfit. But, let's pray you don't die and you don't have to worry about leaving two beautiful babies behind.

[weezy789]

Yes, absolutely get it in writingg and notarized with a lawyer... Then you have it in place even if you die another time and place, heaven forbid.

[jaloveslorelei]

No! I've been getting really upset over this.. and then I watched Annie with my lo and get upset all over. I don't know who we would leave our kids to God forbid something happened. We are not on good terms with either family and either of our parents (especially his mother!) Would fight over custody once they found out about the life insurance that comes along with it and blow through that in no time. Idk what we do and I don't want a judge deciding to leave them with any of our narcissistic family members... it's our goal to spare them the Bc we had to deal with. If your x has some rights now, it sounds like he would have rights after too. Your mom may have to fight for grandparent rights.. I don't know that you could just leave him to your mom if a living parent wants him... but what do I know! Every state is different too!

[Sass508]

I'm referring to my 6 yyear old here