I went through the same thing with my first. I found reverse pressure softening really helpful. I was so swollen that she couldnt latch on. Take two fingers and press down firmly on your aerola (several times all around) until your nipple is more prominent. Also cabbage leaves in your bra are helpful. It will get better! Hang in there!
Hot shower and massage them! When my daughter was born she wouldn't drink the milk and I had the Same problem. After sometime of not using them the milk will dry up