curious...

[Jennirorick]

I got pregnant 2 months into my relationship... things were going swell I am 21 my bf was 18. He made a lot of progress growing up and working hard to get me and baby a bigger place to live since I lived in a studio... well once I got to 6 minths everything changed!!! He lost his job, being stupid. Anf he started only wanted yo party again... I figured ok he's getting scared and so I trird to give him a little slack while still trying to move forward.... hr broke up with me days after Valentine's day after proposing in November... we broke up for 3 weeks and finally when I gave up he wanted mr back...well I had planned in moving home aftet our break up...500 miles away. So we did long distance for 2 weeks and hr left me again, but this time says hr doesn't love me anymore... so I'm curious from woman with possible experience... is he just scared??? I feel like hr doesn't really realize why I've changed a bit like he doesn't get there is a human being here... I feel like he's trying yo push me away yo be young... do u think after baby is born things will change?? He was a tetrific person up until about 6 months that's y I'm just confussed... any advise. Similar situationd. Stories??? I would really appriciate it!!

[castillo82]

Honey a dude that's not mature just isn't mature age can play a role but isnt the final say in the matter. I've seen men 40 yrs old cut up and act a fool as though they were 18 and vice versa. At the end of the day, it's Mommas Baby so we as women have to position ourselves to be the best parent we can be regardless how the other person acts. I am married and I understood that when I got pregnant, while I am playing house for my jellybean and while he/she is depending on me.....baby is my first responsibility and its ALWAYS a possibility that I would have to do it alone.

[mommy2724]

It really sounds like he's confused and or scared. Guys usually start acting selfish and thinking only about themselves when they are scared. At least in my experiences they have lol. My sons biological father was there thru my pregnancy and after he was about 2 months old he left without a trace and he was 34 and I was 24.  Haven't seen or heard from him since. My bf now has been there for my son for a year and a half and he is his daddy and wants to adopt him. they love eachother so much. No woman needs a man to raise a baby and stressing over a man who wants to act like a kid is bad for yourself and the baby. You never know though maybe the guy will just fall in love with the baby when he meets him or her for the first time. It is a life changing moment! Followed by many more!

[nae_moore]

Have you talked to him about how he feels about the pregnancy and the baby?? Or just kinda goin with the flow??  I don't know if I just got lucky or what, but when I started dating my hubby, I was 18, he was 19, and I had a 1 yr old daughter. We had only been officially a couple for about a month, dating for about two maybe a little more when I became pregnant. He has always been a great dad to both our girls, I could never have asked for a better man. We got married when my second was a year old and we'll have been married 8 yrs in June, and we're expecting baby #3 in October. Good luck to you, hope everything works out happily for you.

[lisaw708]

I'm in kind if same situation but I've been with my partner four years he is 30 and I'm 24. But he is acting the same way he was great,do loving before I fell pregnant. I have been pregnant twice n each time he has been a complete idiot. Drinking non stop going out with friends which he hadn't done for ages through his own choice. He's finished with me I don't know how many times now. To be honest hunny I know how scared you are of doin this alone but I would honestly leave him and don'thave any contact with him unless its about baby. Once baby is here then he has to decide if he's goin to make an effort to be there for you and baby. The thing is he should be there supporting you now this is when you need him most. I've been living on my own for a month now and I feel so much better. You and your baby need stability not someone who is goin to come and go as they please. I hope this has helped.xx

[mummymelza]

I'm with Mrs baze. I have a mate who accidentally got a girl pregnant. He was 18 she was 20 and he is one of the best dads I know. She on the other hand is a useless mother. Every situation and every person is different.

[Mrs_Baze]

I call BS. I was 19 and my (now) husband was 18 when our daughter was born. We had only been together about 6 months when we found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. He is a wonderful father. Now we will both be 25 when our 2nd is born. He has never swayed, strayed or scimped on his responsibilities to our child.

Maybe some boys are not ready when they need to be, but don't say it can't happen! It most certainly can, and does, happen, that a boy becomes a man.

[New24888]

At 18 he maybe unable to make a decision. Even if he does come back to you I would bet it won't be a forever Reunion.

[Jennirorick]

He got a GED... we were not trying... it's not that I need a provider though... I can donate as much money as him in that aspect I've been very independent since 18... I would just like yo have my family.. to have someone to care for her like I do that's not 500 miles away... I know being a parents a big responsiblity as far ad money...but that's not what I want him there for...

[RockRose]

Eighteen year old boys are too young to be dads.  He's too young.  

At 21,  you're miles ahead of him in the focus and maturity department.  Women are more able to settle down and focus on parenting a child - that's kind of what we're built to do - and to add to your maturity because of your gender,  you have 3 years head start on him.

You don't say whether he has a high school diploma yet or whether you both were trying to get pregnant,  but it's very unlikely he's going to be able to fill the role of dad and provider for your household.