Aa
"happy ending" long but PLEASE read.
This is not about pregnancy (altho just gone ice on something that has totally thrown me! I feel extremely embarrassed to talk to anyone im close to about this, and they wont ever look at my partner the same... here it goes...
I often use my partners laptop for internet and downloading movies etc, anyway, I opened up google cromme and only one recent activity was there and it was his Hotmail account. I clicked on it, in no way was I snooping or looking for something, but I kno he gets good scoopon deals so I went to a look at some bargains (haha) the first email was from "maiamassage" on the 30th October, I thought, whaaat is this! Opened it and it was a reply to his message to her on the 10th of October which read "hi, just wondering what your services offer?" "Maia" has replied on the 30th with something along the lines of "hi there sorry for the late response, I offer a full body massage with a happy ending (hand relief only) my partner replied that same day and all he wrote was "contact number"
So this is the end of the emails SO FAR. He does not kno I have read these emails. I was so hurt for literally only 30mins then I kind of laughed and I have made the decision to play this out... to see if my partner is actually going to go ahead with this. Is that crazy? Should I play it out or should I confront him?
He has noticed a change in my behavior lately I keep telling him its the hormones lol, im constantly asking him what his doing on his phone (as he gets his emails sent to his phone) I have turned into this paranoid partner and its starting to show a bit. This waiting for her to reply with details is driving me insane BUT in saying that, maia has a website (which he obviously visited) and it contains her mobile number AND emails, im wondering because its been nearly a almost 4 weeks since he has asked for mobile, maybe he has already made a booking? I occasionally check his phone but his not that dumb to leave evidence of a message like that (I wouldnt think lol) he has been with out work 4 3 months now so I kno he hasnt had any money to easily "go missing" ALTHO his had cash in hand jobs here and there, last fortnight and again this fortnight. SOOO he has a job prospects meeting he has to attend once a fortnight which was mesnt to be the thursday just gone BUT last thursday he said he had his job prospects meeting then told me today, only a week latet, that he missed his job prospects meeting yesterday. I asked wasnt that last week he replied oh yea yea but had to go back this week (but forgot) so anyway Thursday just gone he went to our local bunnings and picked up a few things and did a small food shop but was almost 3 hours. I had to ring him about 20mins after he left and he didn't answer, I thought ok his still driving, so I text no reply for awhile tried to ring him again (and again and again and again) but his phone was off... he has been having trouble with his SIM tho and some days it doesnt register therefore he doesnt receive calls or text... which is what he said when he finally rang me back like 20 30mins later he said sorry my sim wasnt registering again (this isnt an excuse as ive seen his phone do this and have tried to solve the problem) amyway he said that and I just gave him soo much attitude, not yelling but had a tone in my voice "why was it off, where are you now, when will u be home" he got mad and hung up. (By the time he rang me he was at bunnings as I heard the people ova the speakers in the background) did he just go get his happy ending massage on either of these thursdays he got paid? Im driving myself nuts trting to look for evidence. I can't tell my gut feeling atm some days its yep he's already done it but my heart and my head say different. I want the hard evidence that he has gone for his happy ending, (im not sure what ill do with it yet either) not just these emails, even tho its still MOST DEFINITELY UNACCEPTABTLE to search pages like erotic massage or to have ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE sexually pleasure you. Im not sure what im asking for here, thoughts? Opinion? Im so torn and heart broken that he has even thought of doing this, we will have a baby (my 3rd, his first) come feb next year, am I crazy to play this out? To wait until he cheats on me? What do I do? I dont want him knowing I kno just yet but my insecurities about this all is really showing up on the outside, im not myself, I have NEVER been in a relationship where I have had to snoop. Im VERY interested in finding out if he goes thru with this, if he can really hurt me in this way. im REALLY hoping I find the message or email with a time and date (if it hasnt already happened) booked as I will be the crazy lady stalker and I will follow him and once his been inside for a bit, im going to put a sign on his window so when he walks out he reads "I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR HAPPY ENDING"
im crazy arent I? Im so up and down! Would this be a deal breaker for you?
I often use my partners laptop for internet and downloading movies etc, anyway, I opened up google cromme and only one recent activity was there and it was his Hotmail account. I clicked on it, in no way was I snooping or looking for something, but I kno he gets good scoopon deals so I went to a look at some bargains (haha) the first email was from "maiamassage" on the 30th October, I thought, whaaat is this! Opened it and it was a reply to his message to her on the 10th of October which read "hi, just wondering what your services offer?" "Maia" has replied on the 30th with something along the lines of "hi there sorry for the late response, I offer a full body massage with a happy ending (hand relief only) my partner replied that same day and all he wrote was "contact number"
So this is the end of the emails SO FAR. He does not kno I have read these emails. I was so hurt for literally only 30mins then I kind of laughed and I have made the decision to play this out... to see if my partner is actually going to go ahead with this. Is that crazy? Should I play it out or should I confront him?
He has noticed a change in my behavior lately I keep telling him its the hormones lol, im constantly asking him what his doing on his phone (as he gets his emails sent to his phone) I have turned into this paranoid partner and its starting to show a bit. This waiting for her to reply with details is driving me insane BUT in saying that, maia has a website (which he obviously visited) and it contains her mobile number AND emails, im wondering because its been nearly a almost 4 weeks since he has asked for mobile, maybe he has already made a booking? I occasionally check his phone but his not that dumb to leave evidence of a message like that (I wouldnt think lol) he has been with out work 4 3 months now so I kno he hasnt had any money to easily "go missing" ALTHO his had cash in hand jobs here and there, last fortnight and again this fortnight. SOOO he has a job prospects meeting he has to attend once a fortnight which was mesnt to be the thursday just gone BUT last thursday he said he had his job prospects meeting then told me today, only a week latet, that he missed his job prospects meeting yesterday. I asked wasnt that last week he replied oh yea yea but had to go back this week (but forgot) so anyway Thursday just gone he went to our local bunnings and picked up a few things and did a small food shop but was almost 3 hours. I had to ring him about 20mins after he left and he didn't answer, I thought ok his still driving, so I text no reply for awhile tried to ring him again (and again and again and again) but his phone was off... he has been having trouble with his SIM tho and some days it doesnt register therefore he doesnt receive calls or text... which is what he said when he finally rang me back like 20 30mins later he said sorry my sim wasnt registering again (this isnt an excuse as ive seen his phone do this and have tried to solve the problem) amyway he said that and I just gave him soo much attitude, not yelling but had a tone in my voice "why was it off, where are you now, when will u be home" he got mad and hung up. (By the time he rang me he was at bunnings as I heard the people ova the speakers in the background) did he just go get his happy ending massage on either of these thursdays he got paid? Im driving myself nuts trting to look for evidence. I can't tell my gut feeling atm some days its yep he's already done it but my heart and my head say different. I want the hard evidence that he has gone for his happy ending, (im not sure what ill do with it yet either) not just these emails, even tho its still MOST DEFINITELY UNACCEPTABTLE to search pages like erotic massage or to have ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE sexually pleasure you. Im not sure what im asking for here, thoughts? Opinion? Im so torn and heart broken that he has even thought of doing this, we will have a baby (my 3rd, his first) come feb next year, am I crazy to play this out? To wait until he cheats on me? What do I do? I dont want him knowing I kno just yet but my insecurities about this all is really showing up on the outside, im not myself, I have NEVER been in a relationship where I have had to snoop. Im VERY interested in finding out if he goes thru with this, if he can really hurt me in this way. im REALLY hoping I find the message or email with a time and date (if it hasnt already happened) booked as I will be the crazy lady stalker and I will follow him and once his been inside for a bit, im going to put a sign on his window so when he walks out he reads "I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR HAPPY ENDING"
im crazy arent I? Im so up and down! Would this be a deal breaker for you?
I just dont kno if he has tho, thats the thing! Dont kno if im just paranoid but I think he is thinking I kno something now! His on to me haha!
Wow I don't know if I could ever be so calm I would have had his clothes in the door by the time he got there. I feel like that's totally unacceptable I mean why do something like that to the one he loves and wants to spent the rest of his life with. He did it once he will do it twice!
Thanks everyone! Im still not sure how I feel about it all. Mixed emotions. Thanks for your input (:
First off am sorry you are going through this, I would be torn apart. I also think you should just confront him. I think he did it already, it doesnt take that long and I dont think there will be an email with appt date and time. He called her and set an appt, thats why he wanted a number. Am sorry but your going to drive yourself crazy, just confront him. You dont need this stress during your pregnacy. Am sorry momma hang in there, if something like this happened in
my marriage, and he went through with it I would be contemplating divorce. Best wishes to you ♥
my marriage, and he went through with it I would be contemplating divorce. Best wishes to you ♥
I would confront him. But like so many others have stated you do have your proof. Try not to over stress yourself self as well its not good for you and your baby. Your children should come first before any man. And if you will continue to sleep with this man protect your self. I have gone through this stress with my mom and dad, and dad constantly doing these kinds of nonsense. Men who does things like these will continue to lie and do it even with your proof in their faces. It's not worth stressing your baby.
Maybe you can check the phone bill to see if he has had contact with that number.
I would be so hurt if I were in your shoes. I would pack up and stay at a friends or my mom's house. I think it is something that I could forgive but not before I had space to process it and make sure he knew he better step it up. You need time for yourself now. Its too stressful to keep wondering about all this!!! His actions are of a high school guy not a soon to be father.
Or which can be easily deleted from his logs rather*
Haha, thats a good one too, altho I must add that his search history on his phone have other "adult services" websites theres no date tho and this maia is the only email, but the other sites are numbers which are easily deleted
I came across a thread thru Google and someone in a similar situation had a comment that read "if your best friend, or your daughter, came up to you with this information, what would you say?"
I have a 3yo girl and this comment hit home. Im so torn.
Definitely not good for our baby either as Im not taking the best care of myself!
I have a 3yo girl and this comment hit home. Im so torn.
Definitely not good for our baby either as Im not taking the best care of myself!
I would call happy endings lady. Ecplain that you and your partner have an open relationship. Be super nice. Tell her you want to pay for his visit as a suprise for his bday. Then after his "massage" when he goes to pay, she'll be like no your lady already paid for it it!!!
some questions you don't want to know the answers to. I'd just leave it be as well as him. honestly even with a kid in the picture, you don't need to be a martyr, if he's treating you badly which that is, it says a lot about you if you stay, be a good role model for your children what would you want them to do in that situation.
The truth is at the end of the day, if he has done it or goes ahead with it, I may not ever find out.
Tbh I cant believe I have either. I think to myself "why do I want him to go thru with it why do I want this hard evidence" do I want to have something against him? The scary thing is I really dont kno why. I honestly dont. Its becoming an obsession I think. I dont want him to go thru with it but I want evidence his done it. It doesnt make any sense to me. Its slowly messing me up not knowing either way and assuming the worst. Im saying evidence but when he isnt here or doesnt answer his phone I automatically think he is there and I go thru an enormous amount of pain. All over. Why am I doing this to myself?!
I also agree its not a deal breaker atm and I do need more proof but in saying that, u have to find these places, seek them out, its premeditated, It almost worse than "I was drunk and messed up and ran into an ex at the bar" this is however something he is planning, and in this last month while he is seeking out the right 'parlor' he is lying to me!
I Would confront him anyway.. even if he didn't actually go through with it, I think it's wrong that he was even thinking about doing it. Plus You read the emails.. You have prove that he was indeed thinking about it.
This is what I would do.. I wouldn't put up with that. Hope everything gets better for you.
This is what I would do.. I wouldn't put up with that. Hope everything gets better for you.
I cant believe you have managed to keep this from him..think id be crazy though i would want definitive proof..I kno its easy to say you deserve better, leave etc..and from the sounds of it you are a strong woman and could manage alone..but i guess you have to think if it comes out n he denies it..would you trust him again..trust once gone is sooo hard to regain..i dont think its impossible..but its such a difficult situation..
It gives him the opportunity to flat out deny everything tho, and tell me he wasn't really going to go thru with it,
I have her addy phone no and email already off her website, I highly doubt they would give information out on any clients
I am In no way excusing his behavior but we do have a baby on the way I can't just throw around accusations and up and leave
I kno the thought is in his head, but will he do it? I will forever wonder if he even did it
I kno the thought is in his head, but will he do it? I will forever wonder if he even did it
Id deffinately be upset but uf hes not did it, and y can prrvent it.. With a child in the way that wouldnt be a deal breakrr ti me. Hes only seeked tthe information. No proof hes actually done it. Try to find more informatiin about the lady location cantact info and possibly call her to see about his possible booked appt
Confront him. Tell him the message was already on the screen, and thats how u sae it.
Yes! Deal breaker! It's Considered cheating. it's even worse that he is willing to pay for it. Honestley he probably has done this before and maybe you should get a STD test bc who knows what he has done.I'd just pack my or his stuff depending on who has the lease and then just leave. put the note on the table.
Meant to say just gone 28 weeks*
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