Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

husband choked me

I am 33 weeks and my husband of 2yrs choked me during an argument. It hurts to swollow/breath on the left side of my throat. It's been 2 hours....should I go to the ER??
49 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I pray you are doing well and the baby is doing good. I have never been a situation like yours but please listen to and take the advice of the women on here who have. Please be safe for you and your baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
*once and minus the it took. Lol :) sorry.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Glad you went to get checked on. I understand we don't know each other personally but no woman deserves to be in that situation. I know from experience that one a "man" puts his hands on you it just continues. My daughter's sperm donor choked me when I was almost 6 months. It was just the start of everything I had to endure from him until he went to jail and I finally left. It took. Just stay strong. I was a single parent and it was hard but honestly I was very content with it being just me and her. Anyways I don't mean to be dark or anything, but karma will eventually catch up with him. In my instance he is now in the ground and that's where he deserves to be after all he put my daughter and I through..sorry to get so deep with you I just feel strongly about your post, and though I'd add my 2 cents. I wish you and your baby the best.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can't even right now! Honestly you should have pressed charges and he most likely wouldn't have gone to jail, he'd have to take classes on respect and anger management and how to properly communicate with people. I'd suggest him doing these classes anyway in order to show you that he can do what's right for you and baby. Leaving him is obviously not your prime choice but you need to set personal boundaries for yourself and really examine what you are willing to deal with. Also if you're getting all crazy and screaming and throwing things in arguments you need to adjust your own communication skills and set the correct tone. Your husband should love you and care for you with every part of his body and soul, never harming you physically or emotionally and you as his wife should know the difference if he's not living up to this. Safety is important and dropping drama bombs and letting an argument get out of control  is extremely unsafe for everyone involved.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
A friend of my experienced the same thing she lost her baby & she's not only living w/ that regret now she think she can't have kids because of her abusive relationship with her ex
Helpful - 0
8894496 tn?1400933529
Can we have an update? I am so saddened by all of your stories.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Noises please leave him! I hope you find the strength to do so. I know its hard. Rather do this without him than stay in that relationship.
Update again. Stay strong
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Update again please. I'm saddened by your story and pray all turns/turned out ok for you!! No man should ever hit or touch anyone the way he did! That isn't being a man...it's being a punk!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
But he didn't do anything to your stomach right? So how did you lose your baby?
Helpful - 0
7763229 tn?1396626895
Noides I pray that you have the strength to make the best decision for you and your unborn child. Please be safe. Please leave.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Once they start, the little things, they open the door to bigger things.  I was once with a guy for 5 years and at the very end, it exploded and my house got set on fire. I was never hit, but he was so nice when I met him.  10 years later, I was subpoenaed to court to testify against him. I gladly did it too. He ended up punching the girl after me, she left him. The next girlfriend, she was too scared to leave him and he beat her to death with his fists, her face was unrecognizable, just meat. She had bone remodeling from old fractures he had beat on her so long. Brain bruising, old blood on the brain from previous beatings, he choked her and broke her hyoid bone. Her tongue had bruising on the inside from her biting down on it. Broken ribs, a lacerated spleen. He took some object they never identified and plunged it inside her vagina and that was unrecognizable too. Torn to shreds, then he beat her with that object after she was dead. Her legs, same bone remodeling, bruising. He killed her in front of their 2 year old little girl and then took that baby with him to dump her at a burn site. He admitted that the baby was there the whole time. He is a monster and deserves what he got, justice was served, I helped make sure of that!!!  But monsters, what makes them monsters, is that they are so charming, so sweet, they promise they won't do it again. They are so sorry, but they are MONSTERS, you have to leave. Choking is a serious thing, no one should ever, EVER LAY A HAND ON YOU, NO MATTER WHAT!!!  It's never ok, even if you think you deserved it, you didn't, that's what monsters do, they break you down and make you think your nothing, that it's your fault. But he's a monster, you don't need him. He has no rights to that baby unless he signs the birth certificate. Get away, be strong, don't be afraid to ask for government aid if you need it. That's respectable, be a strong woman for your baby, it won't be hard forever. But if you stay, you will have to worry about what he will do to your baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
^^ same story as u, I feel for you. I would have a 8 year old lil man right now if it wasn't for my ex throwing me down, broke my tailbone,  fractured both my wrists, and killed my lil boy I was carrying.  U obviously know what he did was wrong, but you allowing it to happen is saying its ok. I had my ex locked up within an hour.  As soon as police got there. I quit calling him my husband that night. He was that man that dare touch me. Your man makes me sick.....However,  you allowing it to happen to your baby is just as disgusting.
Helpful - 0
8827391 tn?1400247234
Glad your good :-) but sweetie my son would be 5 this year if I would have push charges against him instead he free an my son is dead I had a week left in my pregnancy an I lost him cuz of how bad he beat me an deprived me of medical attention....you need to think if he did this to u what could he do to your baby. ...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Even my husband says your husband wasn't being a man, but instead a little b****. He said guys who are willing to lay a hand on a woman, no matter how heated an arguement, will never see what is wrong with hitting a woman. He said your best bet is to leave before it gets worse and you end up putting your baby in even more danger.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Honey he is not a safe man to be around. Guys who show no remorse for hitting a woman especially one carrying his child is not someone you want to be around. Now that you haven't pressed charges he got a free pass. You need to get away, for the safety of your child. Go live with your parents for the remainder of your pregnancy and plan what you can do to keep yourself and your baby safe and healthy afterwards. Being choked out seems to be the first step to worse actions. It WILL get worse, I will guarantee that. Don't wait for it to get worse because it may be too late at that point.
Helpful - 0
7169526 tn?1389529022
I forgot to add that you mentioned your mom moving in with you after the baby is here. Who will keep an eye on you for the next 7 weeks of your pregnancy?  Like pp said he could be a ticking time bomb and this may only lead to worse things like getting pushed down stairs or even worse.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Harming you is NEVER ok. For the baby's safety, you should leave him. He could be a ticking time bomb. Don't let ur mother move in with you, YOU should move in with her and leave his ***. So sorry that happened to you!
Helpful - 0
7169526 tn?1389529022
Are you able to move in with your mother or another relative. Obviously your mom can't 'keep an eye' on you both forever. Please please think of your unborn child.

I am 32 and grew up with an abusive father (towards my mother). My worst memory is my mother saying he was moving back in and I cried so hard til I couldn't breathe and screaming "no!" I think that screaming woke my mother up, he never did move back in thank Jesus. Please don't put your child through the same psychological turmoil I went through or that of many other unfortunate children.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Why would u not press changes?! That's giving him the okay. You just proved to him that you are fine with the way he treats u
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ive learned the hard way not charging is the same as not reporting the asult. please think seriously about your future.  do you want this to happen again? please for your sake and your children,  trust  it will happen again. take it from someone who learned first hand
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
**update**
Baby and myself are doing fine. Just some bruising. Didn't press charges, but I did make a report. My mother decided she's moving in after the babys here for "support" but I know it's to keep an eye on us. Thank you for your concern and advice.
Helpful - 0
8660372 tn?1400360177
Are you OK??
Helpful - 0
3930822 tn?1398092358
Are you okay?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If a man has respect for you, he will not touch in anyway to harm you or your child. He shouldn't be doing that to you all. You need to be at the hospital and let them know what happened. Your husband went to far. That's not acceptable. I don't care what the argument was about. Don't let him get away with that. Just think if made you stop breathing? If you not breath neither is the baby. You and the baby is top priority right. If he can't control it and get help then its not going to work cause will do it again. That's not love, that's abuse. I will be praying for you.
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy: Ages 25-34 Community

Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.