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Pregnancy: Ages 25-34 Community
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Avatar universal

mind over matter milk production

My hubby and I were talking about breastfeeding the other day and I said I didn't feel like I was going to produce much milk this time bc I haven't started leaking colostrum yet (I'm almost 33wks) and breasts are really soft. My first pregnancy i started leaking really early on and produced a ton of milk. My little girl was a perfect latcher from the start but I was really young and uncomfortable with the process and had no women to talk to about it so I quit after three days. My second baby I didn't produce any milk. I was going to try again but seriously didn't have the milk to try. Third baby i was producing a little but not very much but she wouldn't latch at all and after two super healthy formula babies i didn't see the sense in forcing it. So anyway my hubby said the reason i don't produce milk is bc I don't want to. That makes no sense to me. If that were true I wouldn't have produced the first time bc that was the only pregnancy i didn't even want to try breastfeeding and besides if it were based on your level of desire then all those mommies that desperately want to breastfeed but can't bc of milk production issues wouldn't have those issues. It just really bugs me that he says its my fault.
9 Responses
Avatar universal
I have heard that about pumping before. They say if you can't relax while doing It you won't be able to. I wasn't allowed to breastfeed with my first but did with my second but found it hard I didn't think I was producing enough milk so ended up doing half breast feeding and half formula and my little guy was happier and so was I. I never could pump. I say women should do what ever is less stressful and makes them and baby happy. Although I have heard its a mind over matter thing before I don't believe it because I tried all the little mind over matter tricks I was told about and nothing worked for me. Goodluck and try not to let it get to you.
Avatar universal
No not your fault, I breast fed two v babies and iv will with this one.I never leaked early and I had every problem in the book I didn't produce enough the first two days because I wasn't eating enough also if u have one beer right after the birth it will help  with milk  production abd its safe the Dr and nurse told me too.you  Just need to keep at it abd he wants you to so badly he's gonna need to support you.
Avatar universal
He's right, and no formula in the house if you're serious about breastfeeding. Why do you think you aren't producing? Pumping isn't an accurate measure. If your baby has plenty of wet diapers and is gaining on a good track for breastfed babies, you're producing fine.

It's about desire and education. So many moms think their babies aren't getting enough. Less time talking yourself out of it, more time educating yourself and preparing for the best.
Avatar universal
No formula in the house won't help and its definitely not your fault. I breastfed my first and it was a struggle, she had a hard time latching and I struggled with milk production. For the first few days I nursed her, pumped and even gave her a little formula.  After the first week she didn't see formula until 9 months when I quit. I will say this though... this pregnancy I didnt leak colostrum and my milk supply seems fine! There are things you can do to help like teas or even a little  bit of beer (yeast helps) if you want to breastfeed then go for it.. but be prepared its still not easy!
Avatar universal
I never pumped. I don't know why that keeps being brought up.
Avatar universal
Do what ever make you comfortable some people believe in different things. I did it for a month before introducing part formula and my baby was way happier he slept better which meant I slept better and I wasn't sat around all day trying to feed. Cause some women don't produce enough no matter how hard they try. I would sit there for forty mins nursing and he would still take about one to two ounces of formula after to top him off after a month of just nursing (should only have to nurse about 20mins at a time) so I gave it the best I could but didn't want to giveup so I came up with a way that worked for me I am sure you will find something that  works for you. What you want to do or choose to do is all that matters don't let anyone make you feel like it's your fault or your not good enough because you can't or even choose not to do certain things people who try to make you feel bad about things like that are just sad miserable people with nothing better to spend their time on. Keep your chin up and enjoy your bonding time.
Avatar universal
They have supplements and teas that u can try idk how well they work for ppl but it's worth a shot talk to ur doc or get ahold of the la leche* group in ur area. also not trying to be rude but it sounds like ur husband is being a lil accusing id ask him if hes a licensed lactation consultant no? Then to not stress u anymore about it when ur really wanting to try already. Good luck I hope it works out for u
Avatar universal
Next visit with the doc, have him go in with you, and discuss with the doc the causes of low production, your past experiences and what you can do. The discussion should prove to your husband it's definitely not mind-over-matter! My husband thought my Hyperemesis Graviderum was the same thing. I just wasn't trying hard enough not to throw up. Having a doc tell him what's up shut down that argument pretty quick.
And, most hospitals have specialized nurses just for breast feeding and latching help - take advantage before you leave the hospital after birth :)
Avatar universal
Forget the doc, you and your hubs go meet with a lactation consultant. They'll tell him he's being ridiculous. There's no evidence to support the beer theory either- it just relaxes people if they're having a hard time letting down but you don't want to feed a baby if you just had alcohol! Your husband should be cheering you on.
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