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8908085 tn?1400836849

porn

Im six week pregnant with my first baby, and I just caught my husband watching porn. Yea my sex drive hasn't been all there, but as far as I know last night was the only night I wasnt comitted. I thought we were happy. What should I do?
25 Responses
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Avatar universal
It hurts me too when my husband watches porn. Esp when he tries to hide/lie when i can see it thrue his phone.  He knows how I feel about that, I confronted him and he doesn't seems to care about how I feel so I just ignore him for couple days then he talks to me about it.
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Avatar universal
My husband watched porn before during and after the baby i don't care I'm the one who has his baby
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8908085 tn?1400836849
I hope so to. Thanks to those that get me.
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Avatar universal
No judgement there...
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Avatar universal
I completely understand as a christian myself you have different morals to other people (not having a stab at any other ladies here you are all entitled to your own opinion)

I would confront him and let him know its not on. In no way should it be acceptable for a man to watch that filth when he is in a commited relationship. You should be his only desire and you deserve nothing less!!.

I hope you two can work it out
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Avatar universal
I am sorry you are feeling hurt. I struggled with this with my ex husband. He used to watch porn right before I would get home from work & I caight him a few times. It bothered me because all he had to do was ask & I would have been happy to oblige. He would tell me he was doing it for me (so he could last longer later) or just to relax. I later got it out of him that really, he wanted a day off from sex, but we had it almost every day, so he had to give himself a quick release because his body was so used to it on a regular basis, but he was too tired, or sore from a hard day at work to actually want sex. I understand your religious beliefs toward porn. I was raised Roman Catholic & watching porn was sinful and something we were told not to do.  I have since moved away from those beliefs a bit & believe that porn is merely visual stimulation-a means to a pretty enjoyable end. Masturbation is healthy. My husband isn't nearly as sexual as I am, so yes, I watch porn. I own toys and I use them. It doesn't mean I don't love him. I find him sexy and get turned on by him easily & often-hence the masturbation. He is perfectly content with sex once or twice a week & knows that's not the case for me & he's okay with me satisfying myself when I need to & understands that it has nothing to do with him, it is merely a physical response & quite frankly, porn makes it faster. Visual & auditory stimulation turn me on faster than manual stimulation alone & makes the process go more quickly. No point in drawing things out if all I want is to relax so I can sleep better-I save the stamina for time with my hubby ;-). What's more, my husband is welcome to, and does in occasion, watch porn too. Its expected and accepted as a fair trade & I'm understanding about it-even when we haven't had sex in awhile.  My point is, please try not to let this hurt you or to feel threatened by it. In truth, it has nothing to do with you or your relationship unless he is watching porn all the time instead of having sex with you when you both consent to it. I'm sending you happyvibes
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Avatar universal
My hubby and I have had an open discussion about porn and he says that it doesn't mean they are attracted to the women or anything it could just be something to get them off. We have a very healthy sex life and we have even watched it together. He is open with me about it and I don't see the harm
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Avatar universal
Im the same way porn is not allowed. Be open and honest with your husband's and how it makes you feel. We are a Christian family and therefore looking at another women for pleasure isn't okay. Dont change who you are or your beliefs because of it. If its not okay and hurts you those feelings are yours and you need to express them to him. As women we are allowed to say what we want and dont want. It has nothing to do with jealousy.
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8908085 tn?1400836849
Thank you
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Avatar universal
My husband has never cheated on me or any other woman he has dated and watches porn. He hasn't recently because he's been too busy but if I'm out of town, too tired, not in the mood he will. For me it's no big deal. I get he has needs I can't always fill but I don't worry it will lead to anything else. If I were you I would carefully consider how to handle this. If you get angry and the two of you can't come to an understanding he may just hide the porn from you.
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Avatar universal
Ya I would be mad!!! He married you not the porn and him watching that personally I think is just as bad as cheating on you. He is looking at other women and that's not being committed to you. I think you have every right to feel hurt and upset by it.
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Avatar universal
Porn isn't real, you are. Men tend to be more visually stimulated than women, which why more men than women watch porn. God just made men that why...
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Avatar universal
My husband and I are super open with each other when it comes to discussing sex and attraction. He talks to me like one of the guys and I like it. You cannot expect any man to only be attracted to you, whether you are married or not men will always find other women attractive. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive and if your hubby tells you otherwise he's lying to make you happy. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with only you, but sometimes it's also nice to look at porn for a bit of variety. My hubby and I are totally understanding of this with each other and to be honest sometimes I don't like what he says but I have to accept it because at least he's talking to me and being open about it.
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6674791 tn?1396215150
Just because he watches porn does not mean he isn't committed.... I would quote frankly be concerned with a man who does NOT watch porn... I even watch porn... my husband watches it. .. it doesn't mean in the slightest bit that either of us are stepping outside of our marriage to fulfill the sexual need elsewhere... I have been put on complete pelvic rest several times... at 19 weeks for 1 week, at 23 weeks for 1 week, weeks 24-36, im now 37w4d and have been the last 7 days... all that combined is a long time to not have sex...
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8908085 tn?1400836849
He is a truck driver, local now. And when he was on the road I would send him pictures which he has saved. That was our compromise so that he wouldn't be tempted yo watch it.he's home now and he gets it in everyday some days more than once excuse me for being shocked and hurt by my curtent situation.
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5149846 tn?1409405181
Dont fret on it. Just because he is watching porn does not mean he wants to sleep with someone else. Men tend to be way more sexual than women are. I cant remember the exact stats on how often sex actually crosses a man's mind versus a woman's. Him watching porn has nothing to do with whether or not he is satisfied with you. Im willing to bet that he has been watching porn this whole time and you just hadnt seen it. I honestly dont know how anyone masturbates satisfactorily without some porn, I dont lmao!

If this is a huge concern to you then let him know how it makes you feel. But have an open mind to his feelings too. Maybe you can compromise? Ive made solo videos and my husband and I even made one together. Ive caught him watching those more often than he does other porn. Lol
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8908085 tn?1400836849
The thing with me is that he knows how strongly I feel about it. We've been together 9years and it was only an issue once. And it never happend again. I know "sex isn't everything but it is something" and I've been doing my part as a wife. Im very religious and Im very hurt by this. One night and this happens. I mean whats to say when I get bigger he's not gonna cheat. Or if in the future my baby is sick and I sleep in the next room. He wont feel an urge and fill it somewhere else?
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Avatar universal
I'm with you thorarb. Porn is not a big deal as long as he still come to you when you want it thats all that should matter. Most men do watch porn they just hide it. Doesn't mean he's unhappy at all
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Avatar universal
Mine watches porn snd although I find it irritating I also understand that he wants it more than I can give it to him, especially now that I am on bed rest. As long as the kids don't stumble onto it and it's not an interference and I don't have to hear about what stunts he saw and wants to try, then I just ignore it.
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5149846 tn?1409405181
If it bothers you, say something to him. Better to say something than to let it fester. But like I said its probably nothing at all to be worried about.
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Avatar universal
Lots of men watch porn. 100% of men masturbate. No big deal
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5149846 tn?1409405181
Im fine with my husband watching porn as long it doesnt interfere with us. What he does in his spare time is his business, sometimes I watch porn too. I think the only time I would be upset is if I had to compete with porn. Meaning he stops giving it to me or doesnt seem to want to do it with me but would go watch porn. Then it could be an issue. im sure your bf has been watching porn previous to this incident, you just never saw it. Lol
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Avatar universal
My husband watch it, and I actually see it with him, sometimes, is kind of a turn on, although now we can't have sex but still, I don't see the harm in it them watching porn
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7552771 tn?1469929649
I know most women aren't okay with it. But as long as I don't know about it my bf can watch it. I watch it. Its nothing against you at all most of the time people watch it just to get off because it turns them on because of the sex not because these women are more attractive or he doesn't want you. So don't over react just let him know it made you feel bad and you don't like it.
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