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Avatar universal

sex issues

I'm 15+5weeks along and I am a newlywed. My husband and I got married 11-12-13. We had been having sex very frequently before I got pregnant, ergo a bun in the oven. However since finding out he wants it all the time. If he could he would want it multiple times everyday. Or at least everyday. The thing is I have several health issues that are exasperated by being pregnant. Back issues, migraines and a genetic disorder that causes loose ligaments. So being pregnant makes my already too loose ligaments even looser, which causes pain! I would love nothing more than to be up to having sex with my hubby. But I have been dealing with a bad migraine and just simply have not been up to it. He feels like I'm withholding or don't want to. And I feel like crap because I already feel badly for not being up to it. Then to have him get mad/hurt/frustrated and physically pull away and turn over... it well it just *****! Anyone have any ideas or thoughts on how to get him to understand I love him very much and want to be intimate, but am physically and emotionally not up for it. I want to reach at least an understanding and not feel like a bad wife. Normally I have a high sex drive as well but being pregnant has seemed to squash it abit too. Thanks and sorry if it seemed like I was venting! Lol. Not my intention.
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Avatar universal
So, has he flat out said he doesnt believe your reasons for not wanting sex?

Make sure you explain to him that you WANT to want him, but because of your physical state at the moment it puts you off to think about it because of the severe pain yoi expieriance. Ask him if there are other ways you can be intimate that don't require as much pressure on your body so he doesn't feel negleted and you can avoid the pain.

I have some pretty severe pain due to previous injury and the pregnancy weight/hormones. So I can relate in some ways. Especially when the only pain relief options are tylenol/paracetemol and a heating pad/hot water bottle.
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Avatar universal
I think he's gonna have to realize that he's not priority right now... Technically not ever again after the baby gets here! Ha... So he should probably realize that your well being & the well being of your baby is more important than his sex life. Tell him to do it himself or get out of your face! Lol happy wife, happy life! Just sayin'
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Avatar universal
Sounds like he is being a tad selfish, but I've always thought there's compromise.  We had lots of sex, hormones permitting up until this point (29 weeks), but the last time ended me up in the hospital with steady contractions.  So I'm supposed to refrain from sex, but I feel good pleasuring him in other ways.  He already knows that nursing hormones are likely going to tank my libido post partum, but it doesn't mean he should be deprived.
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Avatar universal
Thanks everyone! It has been a tough couple of weeks. I plan on talking to him tonight. Will let you know how it goes. Other than this we have very good communication. We don't always agree... but we always find middle ground. I just hate feeling like crud on top of hurting. Thanks ladies!
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Avatar universal
I'd definitely let him know how you feel and discuss other ways you could pleasure each other, touching, massage, oral etc. Let him know that sex is not the be all and end all and that's not what you want your lifetime romance to ve about. Real love is deeper, so aim for a bit more of that. Sex has been nearly non existant during my pregnancy too and whilst my hubby was initially a bit uptight and huffy, now he laughs and enjoys whatever intimacy we share, even something as simple as hugs with bump kicking us both!
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Avatar universal
You need to just explain how you feel. It will be the best thing for both of you and make sure it's before bed time not at bed time when he is looking for it. I know exactly how you feel with the loose ligaments! It *****! I've got the same thing. Thankfully it made labor go fast. My daughter who is my first my labor was 8 hours.
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Avatar universal
Im 35ws and before i got pregnant me and my hubby had sex 3or4 times a day. Now the past month i dont want it at all! My hubby keeps making lil jokes here and there about watching porn and using my hand! Or he asks  to barrow my panties lol he knows i love him and that im uncomfy when we have sex. But what has been helping us get thru it is we laugh it off or when we do have sex he massages my hole body first and during! It really does help! I dont get to the finsh line but it does make my body relaxed and it helps me fall asleep! U two just need to figure out a way to compromise that doesnt hurt u or him!
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Avatar universal
Tell yout husband exactly how you feel and you love him, may be you guys can come up with something not every day but twice a week would be good.

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Avatar universal
First I would just try and explain it to him and see if that helps his attitude. If not just try to find a happy medium that works for both of you. I wasn'ttat all up to sex one night but knew my hubbs was wanting it so I offered up some oral stimulation he got his and then asked what I wanted lol... I told him your happy I'm happy lets go to bed
Helpful - 0
6670343 tn?1383601489
Tell him exactly what's going on. I'm 31 weeks and though I have no health problems sex has been nearly non existent. I do get migraines and severe back pain since I'm so far along but usually I just don't want it. My boyfriend has been very understanding and I do give in but it's never had been pleasurable since I was a few weeks. Maybe your husband needs to understand its not all about him anymore.
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