571708 tn?1239637697

pro's and con's of finding out the sex

I am still undecided on whether to find out the sex in less than 3 weeks or not. I thought i wouldn't be able to wait to find out, but to be honest it doesn't really matter to me. I don't really need to buy any gender-specific clothes as i have found some neutral ones i love, any prams etc will have to be neutral anyway if want guarentee to use them for the next one, i don't have to think about nursery colours until post-birth as baby is staying with me  for the first 6 months, and i don't plan on choosing a final name (i have a shortlist) until i see the little one anyway.

So i was wondering what other peoples views on it are. So far my thoughts are:

Can buy gender specific little outfits, accessories etc,
can narrow down the baby name list to one gender,
may make the baby more of real person if i can think of him or her instead of him/her,
i can discuss it here.
i do want to know everything about my little one's development in every other sense so this would add to that knowing

My mum-in-law doesnt want to know so i would have to either lie to others that i don't know, or get pestered if i say i'm keeping it secret and having to be careful of slips of the tongue of referring to him/her,
having to hide any gender specific stuff from m-i-l,
finding out at the birth may make it more special/something to look forward to?
6 Responses
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470500 tn?1226549516
It sounds like you've already made up your mind about what you are going to do.  I AM gonna find out end of next week.  I don't see the big deal in keeping it a secret.  I know it will be a surprise on the day of birth, but having a baby to me is a big surprise so I'd like to at least be prepared for one thing, which is the sex.  I also can't get over everyone else's attitude about my decision to finding out the sex and it sounds like your MIL is the same.   I don't think it is anyone else's business what decision you make about finding out/not finding out the sex. At the end of the day it is your baby and every decision you make is YOUR'S to make and not everyone else's so if you want to walk around with a shirt saying "I AM HAVING A BOY/GIRL",then you should.  You shouldn't feel like you have to hide things from your MIL and I don't want to feel like that either but I do have a lot of people absolutely SHOCKED because I want to find out the sex. Your pro's definitely look like they outway the con's!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with Rosie...we are all different, our pregnancies are all different, hey let us all be able to follow what WE want to do!!Apart from welcoming another little person into the world, we Moms-to-be are also special and going through a wonderful and miraculous experience soooo....why can't people back off, accept that they are NOT the ones having the baby, and respect the fact that sometimes we like to do things our way!
I was completely undecided as to whether to find out the sex or not with my first (I also had relatives, including my Mom, who didn't want to know). But, we decided to find out (I live in Italy and here most people DO decide to find out, so at least I wasn't surrounded by people stressing me with the 'should you/shouldn't you' thing! Once we found out (a girl!) I had to keep referring to it as 'it' for a while until my Mom was dying to know too...and she ended up being glad that she knew as she could start looking at cute little outfits that weren't just neutral (although I agree with you amg - there are some really cute things on the market which are good for both boys and girls).
Anyway, do what you feel is right...I was glad I found out in the end because it DID make me 'bond' more with the baby in psycological terms - I could start to imagine her, the stories i could tell her, the songs I could sing to her etc. And of course, my shortlist of girls' names become the only one to consider!
Good luck with whatever you chose to do  - as rosie says, that day is going to be totally amazing anyway and NOTHING (least of all knowing beforehand if it's a boy or girl) with detract from that!
Helpful - 0
571708 tn?1239637697
thanks samLB and Rosie for your comments.

Just want to clarify, my mil is quite happy with me doing whatever i want, she just wants it to be  a surprise for her, and out of respect for her i therefore would keep it secret from everyone else as i feel she should be one of the first to know.

Will let you know what i decide
Helpful - 0
501096 tn?1320874932
We did NOT find out the gender of our 1st babies, but we plan to this time.  It didn't bother me too much NOT knowing, but other people got miffed because they didn't know what to buy me for the baby showers (they can just get over it).  Now, with 3 other kids to deal with, it just makes sense to find out this time, so that we can get the appropriate clothes out, washed, and put away.  I read the other day that 71% of women correctly "guess" the gender of their babies anyway.  I KNEW my 2nd was a boy and my 3rd was a girl.  The first one is a long story: wanted a boy, but kept thinking it was a girl (it was a girl).
Helpful - 0
602509 tn?1227201482
i go in the 20th to have an us and ive decided i don't want to know the sex im just gonna let it be a surprise because i already have a boy and a girl so either would be fine with me but im almost sure this one will be a boy!!!!
Helpful - 0
190838 tn?1226613607
I find out the 12th and can't wait. I figured since I already lost one of my little twins, I should find out just to help the grieving process. (if that makes any sense).  And also I like to be prepared, and if this baby is a girl I'd have to buy all new things since none of my little boy's things were neutral.  I figured I'd tell everyone about the pregnancy when I find out the sex. I can't wait to narrow down the names, much better with girls names than boys names though. And no one in my family has ever waited, so I never really considered it a choice..maybe with my 3rd I will? :)
     Almost 5 months now, due april fools day :)
Helpful - 0
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