Pregnancy: April 2015 Babies Community
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Avatar universal

Anyone else's mom think your baby is there??

Ughhh... This is definitely me venting so you don't have to read it I just really needed to get it out! I love my mom* but~

My whole pregnancy my mom thought she should be a part of everything. I can't believe I had to tell her that the "father of my child" had to be the one in the US room when we found out the gender. As of yesterday I've told her 5 times that she will not be in the room during birth. She is going to push me to the point of being rude and I don't want to go there. She wanted to buy me a dresser to put next to the crib so I went shopping with her last weekend and the whole time she kept talking about how this summer "we" can get the nursery set up and. She kept making it sound like it was her responsibility. And throughout the pregnancy she would text me all the time saying "I'm going to come over and we can work on his room." I told her over and over I already have a plan for it but and the response I get "okay sweety I just thought we could help." I would understand that the first time, but after how many times are you going to get it, his room is done.

And i can't talk to her about my frustrations because if you point anything out to this woman she may speak words of understanding but the attitude that goes with it is very rude, like haha you don't know what your taking about, or you just don't know yet you'll learn. Very cocky, and doesn't give up.

I just know I'm going to have problems with her when it's time to deliver and she doesn't want to leave the room and she is going to cause me to yell at her, and then she's going to make a seen about how she just wants to be close to her daughter's... Blah blah. Because the thing is we are very close, but having her control me until I'm 80 is not how I see it. And I sure as he** will not let her control the one thing in the world I finally have that is mine to love, raise, cherish, and care for.

I am so sorry I just really needed to get this out before I deal with her today.
3 Responses
Avatar universal
I kind of know how you feel. My mom wants to be there for me and help out however she can, but she will somewhat listen when I tell her no. She won't do it (whatever it is) but she'll keep asking and saying "are you sure?" my grandmother on the other hand is going to drive me nuts. She already does. I have a 4 year old daughter Andy grandmother will just take it upon herself to show up at my house unannounced to have playmates with my 4 year old. She undermines me when I'm here and will stay for hours on end even though I tell her we're  busy and have other stuff to do. I've never let her take my daughter and don't really intend on letting her (for multiple reasons) but she told my daughter the other day that she is going to go and buy a car seat that she can keep in her own vehicle so when my daughter "gets sick of my company" (her words exactly) she can call my Gram and she will come pick her up to spend the day with her! I'm scared to think what it's going to be like once the baby gets here. I'm a very independent person and I don't like having people around trying to "help" me all the time, especially not when trying to adjust to a new baby at home with a 4 year old, but I know as soon as he is born and I am home she will try to come over every day to visit and I think soon I'm going to flop out at her
Avatar universal
It's great having people that care. But it starts to feel more like they think we're incapable. And at times like these we need there support and encouragement, not there overbearing opinions/personalities... I love my mom and hate having these thoughts about her. But I feel like she's bringing it on herself by not letting go.

Also I understand about the car seat thing. My mom thinks she needs a baby bath, swing, crib, clothes... All this stuff that she definitely does NOT need. Because when he's at her house it will be to visit, and he will already be clean and he will be coming home. Maybe stay the night every great once in a while, but she will not need a crib.
Avatar universal
You may need to just flat out tell her. Sounds like shes treating you like a single mother who needs to constantly take care of you which is nice sometimes. But theres things pregnant women like to do themselves. Id just tell her that and the fact that she needs to listen and constantly pushing you to get you to budge isnt working. I dont know how you do it. I would've snapped a long time age.
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