Aa
serious question for not first time moms...
I've been extremely emotional and worried lately over a real concern that I'm not going to love this baby like I love my daughter. I haven't even spoken to my husband about it. I feel so embarassed and horrible for even thinking it. It's already impacted mine and my 3 year old daughters relationship because I've been so sick in this pregnancy (I had hyperemesis for the first half and now just very sore and tired which is normal). I already miss being able to do things with her that I used to and I know it's never going to be the same... I just don't know if this is normal. I don't know what to do. I almost regret this whole pregnancy and I was so excited up until now. Has anyone else been through this?
I feel ya. Im 36 weeks and getting close. My son who is 9 is having a very hard time with me being pregnant especially since im having a girl.I include him in anything that pertains to his new sister so he doesn't feel left out. I wondered how I can love another child as much as I love my son. I feel awful cause at times I feel disconnected to my baby girl like im not that excited even though we were ready to have another. I regret at times the huge age gap. Other friends of mine who have more than 1 kids says it will come naturally to love, motherly Instinct . But your not alone!
Thank you guys so much. You have no idea how much it means to me to have a wonder group of women to share this with. I'm glad I'm not alone.
Indeed, thanks for listening to my rant. I'm sure though that holding him and seeing his first smile will warm your heart tremendously. She will always be your little girl and he will always be your little boy. I know I dont know you or anything but Im almost positive you have room I'm your heart for both, even if its a different kind of love.
With all my pregnancies I've never really bonded or taken pregnancy as awe I love this baby in me.i have seen it as I'm growing a human in my body. I didn't really experience that bond till after when I was at home. I didn't have the baby blues or depression. I just didn't bond with the pregnancy. Now if anything I have found I don't have that close of a lbond with my 7 yr old daughter. I noticed as she got older and I let her be more independent and her own self I didn't get clingy. I've talked to other moms about that and some know what mean. I love my daughter I protect her but I'm not mushy lovey dovey with her like when she was 1 or 2. I know it'll be the same as my son gets older and with #3. But that's why I find activities we can bond over and we have our mom and daughter moments or mom and son. But it's normal to feel like you do.
Sounds like we are in the same boat in a sense. Hoping everything works out for both of us.
I've gotten her into counseling because I know it will be rough for the both of us and I'm trying so hard not to be too hard on her or say the wrong things about her dad but it's been difficult. Truthfully the only reason I married her dad was because I was almost forced into it and because I was having his kid.... *sigh* the mistakes I made as a teenager! I love her don't get me wrong but her dad was the biggest mistake of my life
And I'm worried that my issue will be the other way around. I'm worried that I might love my new child more, especially with the issues I have with her dad and how she acts when she comes back from his house, because oh yeah, she can put daddy in the corner....
@blackice. I'm sorry about your situation with your ex. It's horrible to think that someone would play games like that. A child should never feel like they are replaceable. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.
Thank you. Yea. She is excited, she tells everyone she's going to be my big helper which is super cute. I know she's going to be happy with a sibling. And since this one is a boy I am planning on doing a girl day once in a while. I don't know how I'm going to have enough love for two. I feel like there's no way I could possibly love this baby as much as I.love her. As awful as that sounds.
I'm pregnant withy second and I'm worried my daughter will think I love my new son more. I had my daughter with my ex husband and I'm now having a child with my childhood sweetheart. The relationship between her fater and I is well to put it bluntly, I loathe him and would rather see him hit by a bus... Yes I know, it's horrible to say, but I encourage her to see him and know that he is still her father and she will love him regardless. I don't ever say anything negative about him to her, but she knows we don't get along. The man I'm with was my very first love and I'm very happy to be engaged to him and having his kid. I'm just worried that my daughter will think I love my son more than I love her. I also wouldn't put it past her father to make her think that either (yes, he would be that immature and stoop that low, hence I'd rather see him hit by a bus) before I got pregnant he told her that I should just have another baby so she can live with him.... Like she needs to think she is replaceable in my heart! She was 4 maybe 5 years old at the time....anyway I'm almost in the same boat.
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