Sorry you're feeling this way. I'm 31 weeks and I've been getting anxious and very moody lately. I'm also ftm and I have moments where I'm overwhelmed, but I manage to get to a place of serenity and realize this is normal. I also suffer from depression of and on and have had some good cries during my pregnancy, but I've learned to use my instincts and coping mechanisms from my past. Don't feel guilty about how you feel, the baby is fine as long as you're getting your rest, eating well and recognizing how you feel rather than keeping it in. I would get in touch with a public health nurse if that's available to you. I live in Canada so we have a program available to us called best beginnings where there are all sorts of resources and nurses who are trained to help in these cases. Look it up online and see if they can refer you to a similar outlet where you live. Also, try to source some local mommy groups before the baby comes so that you can establish some supportive connections now with women that will gladly invite you into their group. I've joined a baby wearing group where community of women share their passion and experience with baby carriers, slings and wraps which is fantastic for baby and mom since it promotes breastfeeding, bonding and balances hormonal changes in mom and baby. I know you're lonely, but there are a lot of us that go through this and you are never alone. If the town you live in is small then join some blogs online and talk about your experience. Remember, this is a big change, but I beautiful one and a journey that is your own. I'm sending you many hugs!! :-)
Maybe find a prenatal yoga class or something alike in your neighborhood. It sounds like you could use some company, and in these classes you'll meet a bunch of women you can talk and have fun with, that are in a similar position as you. Or ask a family-member or friend to come stay with you if possible. If that doesn't work, ask your doctor about meds, depression can be dangerous, and doesn't necessarily go away after birth.
I am like this now. Before i got pregnant i was taking meds to control my anxiety. It is indeed hard for us to go through this. I am also avoiding any sort of anti depressant or meds for anxiety cos im afraid that it might harm my baby. I feel so anxious now that we have very very little time before the baby arrives yet we are still financially uncapable to provide for our baby's needs. I am scheduled for csection on aug 10 yet we dont have money. We live in philippines and in our country you have to pay cash for hospital bill. My partner has no luck on getting job. He's been applying for months. We still dont have enough things for our baby. No diapers no bed no matress we literally lack everything that the baby needs. I have a grade schooler and i have to spare money for her things and food for school and to pay her service. I havent take vitamins since saturday cos i ran out of supplies and cant still buy yet. How lucky we are right? My partner has severe boils now that has inflammation from knee to toe so he cant barely walk right foot/leg. My eldest/gradeschooler has bad cough and cant control her pee for unknown reason. Sometimes i want to tell my self that i have all the rights to complain. But guess what? I didnt. I didnt complain to God but just thank him instead. I thank Him for waking me up everyday for giving us another little bundle of joy. I thank God for letting me see my loved ones smiles to hearing their for, for just simply being with them. I also dont have friends here. I only have 2 friends and the other one died last year. I am fighting this anxiety without meds and without telling anyone. The only meds that i am using is closing my eyes, feeling my baby move/kick and visioning the laughter and smile of my family. I know God has his reasons for everything so eventho we have no food beside us or we have no comfy matress to lay on i still thank Him. I dont know your beliefs but i believe that God will never leave you and He loves you. Fight your anxiety with the love that you have in your heart. I know you can also get this through without meds. We will be fine and this will be over soon. :)
Hello and thank you so much for your comment , your words inspired me more then I can express. I'm so sorry you are going through such trying times while having a baby , but it seems that you are so grateful and thankful even with all the stress . I just want to say that your story brought me to tears and made me feel thankful for even the small things that I have in life and also made me feel very guilty for feeling so sad when I do get medical care and although I do not make a lot of money I am able to get by. You've really helped me see the positive in my situation and yes, God is good, he always finds a way for us even if it does seem hopeless at times . I wish you all the best . Your words were truly inspiring, wise and beautiful. Thank you to the other comments as well I am looking into some help in my area this week and am hopeful