DH scared of death during labor

[KTowne]

DH and I were talking last night, and he is terrified of me trying a VBAC, or having a c-section, or anything labor related!! He went to a birthing class with me, so he knew what to expect, but when DH was born, he was terrified. He was with me from 0-8cms and no pain medicine, and he cried every time I had a contraction, then when it ended up in an emergency c-section and he couldn't go in with me, I was rushed away within a few minutes, and no one explained anything to him right away, he was in a panic worrying about me and our son. Now a friend at his work told him about his wife, who is 32, and had a c-section, they sewed her bladder into her incision, and she has developed cancer from it, she's getting worse and worse, and they don't expect her to live. He's terrified of me trying naturally, and not making it, or me having a c-section, and not making it. I want him to meet with my doctor because I'm hoping my doctor can help ease some of his worries, but he works so much, and only has Friday's off, my doctor's office is closed on Fridays. Have any of your husbands/SO's went through this, did they get over it? Or should we request a day off so he can meet with my doctor?

[KTowne]

I never even thought of hiring a doula! I live in a pretty small town so I'll have to check the town I'm delivering at, and see if they have anything! He asked for a day off for my next doctors appt. and I'm hoping my doctor can help ease some of his fears. It really didn't help that with my son, everyone was so focused on me, and getting my son out via c-section, that no one was there to explain to him what was going on! So I'll definitely look into that, thank you!

[Spiket77]

Oh my goodness. That is so terrible that he is feeling this way. It is actually a pretty natural fear he is expressing.  A lot of people are really uncomfortable in medical environments and have even harder times when it involves a loved one. I would have him meet with your doctor. I also might suggest he see some kind of therapist for a quick session on fears. If he won't go for that, then maybe consider hiring a doula!
A doula might take some of the pressure off of him as your support. She also may be able to help him with his fears. A doula will act as both a birth support and health advocate at the hospital. I'm sure if she understands your husband's issues that she will help him along the way too.
Even my husband who has been around births and knows a lot about unmedicated natural birth cried when I was in transition. My doula proved invaluable in helping me through that time and she helped him a lot too! My husband even co-teaches childbirth classes with me and the wheels come off for him when I am in pain. So, tell him not to feel bad!!! Hope this helps in some way. Best Wishes to you!