I want to be alone after giving birth, anyone else dealt with this?

[el17642991]

I have a three year old daughter from my ex husband and when I had her we didn't tell anyone I was being induced because we wanted to spend the first moments with her without anyone wanting at the hospital. We tell them a few hours later when we were ready and they were welcomed to come she her. Now I'm pregnant with a son, although I'm solo this time I want the same with my son. Ill be moving back in with my parents for a few months till I can move out of town again relocating my job. My parents were very upset that they weren't there while my daughter was being born, but I will be living with them his first months of life so they have plenty of time to see him. I'm a very private person and being adopted, I just don't have that close of a bond with them. They are my parents and they did raise me but I don't feel comfortable with them waiting in the waiting for to see him soon after he's born. I just want it to be him and I for the first few hours, is that so wrong?

[Anne0987]

Sounds very selfish to me. Especially when you would be moving in with them afterwards.

[uomeasmile]

You are the mama and have the right to call the shots. If this time alone is important to you than you have every right to create a birth plan accordingly. I would broach the subject with your parents in an open and honest way. You can communicate how important they are, and how much you look forward to having them in your son's life. Let them know that you have put a lot of thought into it, and mentally you need this small amount of time alone to bond with your son. Assure them that you will have them on speed dial, and will keep them updated. Be honest about your feelings, and ask for some grace. Sure they might be temporarily disappointed, but once they do lay eyes on your precious child I am sure all will be forgiven. As you know, not all birth plans work out the way we envision. If you need some last minute support, give them a call, or have a friend on standby. I will you and your baby the best.

[rainbowbaby2015]

That's not wrong at all. Childbirth is such a transformative, intimate thing. My husband and I also decided that we wanted to be alone until we were ready for visitors. With the exception of the birth team of course. In your case since you're totally alone, I'd recommend hiring a doula who can support you through the birthing process. Studies show that birthing with doulas make for much smoother deliveries.

[el17642991]

Sorry about the grammar mistakes, I'm not that bad!