Pregnancy: Dec 2010 Babies Community
120 Members
1024452 tn?1323712417

People are mean to pregnant women!

Has anyone else noticed that people are mean to pregnant women??  I get comments like "you are huge!"...no, my tummy is huge the rest of me has only gotten a little big, most of which is water because I'm super swollen everywhere!!  Then people are like "oh, when are you due?"  And I tell them, December 9th and they're like "Oh..." as if I was supposed to answer oh, I was actually due a week ago!!  Oh, I'm constantly getting up from my desk at work to run to the printer, the copy room (that is about 10 feet from my desk), the restroom, the kitchen to refill my water, etc. and someone had the nerve to tell a co-worker to put the papers in the tray and not to hand them to me because I need the exercise!!  Keep in mid that the tray is on top of a file cabinet that sits right outside of my cubicle so I just have to stand up, grab it and sit down!!  Funny thing is, I'm almost 9 months pregnant and still weigh less than that lady who made the comment!!!  These things drive me crazy!!  I'm still in Medium size maternity clothes with some small pants for crying out loud!!  Large maternity clothes fit me like dresses!  These are just a few examples of things people do, there are more, but these are the only ones that stick out right now...pregnancy brain!  Sorry, I just had to vent and see if people are rude to all pregnant women or just me...
9 Responses
1278093 tn?1294323984
can't say i've experienced that....although i am tired of being asked if i am having twins when they find out i wasn't due yesterday....and yes i'm sure that in 6 ultrasounds i'd know if there was more than one in there :)
actually i've had the opposite-people asking to carry things for me, holding doors open, etc.
i've had to tell people thanks but no thanks on offers of help often.
160254 tn?1271000078
I have gotten the... you look so small.  I haven't gotten anyone to "help" with anything this time as they see that I have two little ones already.  I do get a lot of you are CRAZY, what were you thinking, you had a boy and a girl already was this one a mistake, etc.  That stuff is bad, even more so when family is the one saying it.  So I feel some of your pain.  I would rather people shut up and look the other way.  We're almost done - and then think maternity leave and break from those people!  Are you going back to work?
1024452 tn?1323712417
I'm trying to do part-time.  Currently it has been denied in my department, so HR is looking to see if there is something else within the company for me.  If there is not, I'm probably going to have to quit and find something somewhere else.  I just don't feel right about leaving her with a sitter or in daycare all day, just to get home from work to feed her, bathe her and put her to bed.  Every time I think about that it makes me so sad!!  I'm hoping something comes up here at my current job; I love what I do, the location, and the flexibility.  My mom only worked on Thursday's, Friday's, and Saturday's and was home by 1:30 - 2:00 when I was little and my Grandma watched my brother and I on those days and I loved that!  How about you, are you going back to work?
160254 tn?1271000078
No.  I don't work.  I worked part time after #1 and quit after #2.  I ask because once people got word at work that I was going to go part-time and would never go back to full time, they started treating me like crap.  I would bet they are jealous of you and are taking it out on you.  The moms at work treated me worse than the others.  You would think them being pregnant before they would have a little bit of sympathy, but they didn't.  

Sounds like you have a good plan.  I enjoyed working part-time when I had my son.  It was good for all of us.  It took some time for my co-workers to realize that I could actually do the work part-time, but they came around.  My son was with DH when I worked, I just never saw my DH.  When we decided to have another one, we decided it was time for me to turn in the towel.  Funny, because it made it a little easier to decide to have #3 - not a lot, but a little.  

It's also interesting how our parents influence us now, my parents and in-laws all worked full time and DH and I were in daycare full time.
Avatar universal
I know what you mean, at no other time in your life would anyone comment on your size yet as soon as you're pregnant half the world can't wait to tell you how big you are and the other half can't wait to tell you how small... and that includes your own family and friends! I think the 'big' comments are usually jealousy because its the only time you're going to be bigger than them :-) Fortunately my work colleagues have been great but if yours are not then make sure you take a lot of pleasure out of lining up your pregnant lady snacks for the day (one for baby, one for me, etc...) and pointedly enjoying them safe in the knowledge that you're pregnant and they are just overweight ;-)
1285850 tn?1291780035
I guess i've been lucky. People have been so nice to me. People open doors, smile, help me out with my stuff. I've had no bad comment's so far.
I work with a great bunch of people and they all support me. One of them feeds me his nutricious leftovers. They also swap shifts with me so I can go to my appointments and such.

Man sorry it's been crappy for ya. Well keep your chin up you'll be out of there soon and have a wonderful baby.
392430 tn?1382908381
I get sick of people asking me if we are going to try for a girl or that I must be dissappointed because this is another boy (our second). No one seems to believe that I wanted boys and am pleased as all heck to have 2 sons. And yeah the "Are you sure it's not twins?" comment drives me batty...I'm like "No todays ultrasounds are so unreliable, you may be right!" Gah...people!
Avatar universal
I havent had any troubles with bad/neg comments.. I know I am a bigger girl- and now being pregnant, this little one has really caused my belly to petured into the world!! Co-workers are amazed that I still have 2 months left, but I keep reminding them: I got pregnant and I have lost 8lbs, while looking this huge! =D Smile and walk away.
1240706 tn?1331605711
kele1129 - I went to an Ob appointment and brought my 3 y/o daughter.  The nurse asked what I was having and I said it was a girl.  She was all like "that's okay" in a very patronizing voice that told me what she was trying to say was "oh, you already have a girl, I am sure you wanted a boy..."  I felt compelled to tell her I also have a boy that is 9... why people feel like anyone should be disappointed a the gender of their unborn child is beyond me, and it is annoying.

And yes, too many people make the "you're getting so big" or "you look so small for "x" # of months"... what happened to the days of simply telling a pregnant woman she looks radiant or beautiful? lol  And let me say that gone are the days where people gave up their seat to a pregnant woman (or even a woman at all for that matter).  Oh, well...
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