Feeling lost

[ftm475]

Hi all, I'm not one to write these and seek help I usually just scroll but I need support. I am 20 yrs old, ftm and single. Things with baby's dad are difficult. We were together for almost a year but my family disowned me because of him (he's a typical bad news guy drugs and trouble with the law and disrespectful). Despite this I was crazy about him and gave him everything including being homeless with him for a while so he wouldn't be alone. We were on a break when I found out I was pregnant and I was devastated because I had to drop out of art college which was always my dream. I've lost so much during this pregnancy and my life will never be the same but his is unaffected. He says he wants to be involved but is really oblivious and immature and acts like it is all so easy and casual. We have been fighting on and off throughout my pregnancy but I still love him and he said he loved me. Now he tells me he is going on a date and I am so hurt. I feel like he has changed my life forever and gotten away scott free to enjoy himself and his new better life. I feel abandoned and alone and scared and I just don't know what to do. I don't really have anyone to talk to. Any advice/support would really be appreciated x

[Masoak]

I was with my first 2 boys father for 7yrs and same thing very selfish person I gave him everything dispite what my friends and family thought..he ruined my perfect credit because of me supporting him. We have been broken up now for 2 1/2 yrs and I am with someone new and great but now I have to rebuild..i am stronger now but it is frustrating to not be approved (credit wise) for things I would normally have been approved for. So advice I have for u especially since ur still so young is to think of yourself and baby rebuild...focus on ur relationships with ur family...love is blind and look where it's got u. My mom who was my best friend has been gone now for 3yrs now and it pains me to know that my ex had her last conversation and in that convo he promised her he would look after me and my kids...he has done nothing..Thankfully I have a good job and was able to put my kids thru daycare find a home on our own so they had shelter..anyways where I'm getting at is I would give anything to have her here to see me now away from him and with someone great and I'm sad she isn't here to meet my new guy who I know she would love...family is soo important..you've got this! You're going to do great!

[Guardian7015]

My mom had me a month after turning 20 she and my dad got divorced about a year later she thought she was doing the best thing for me by being with him bc she thought she needed to be with my dad for me to have a good life im so thankful for the fact that they separated she married my step dad about a year and a half after that and put a man in my life that wanted to be there I know my birth dad loves me when its convenient for him but my step dad loves me all the time your choice has to make you happy bc if your not happy with yourself your child won't be ether and you cant be happy with a man that only wants to be there when its convenient for him

[2nd_Gem]

I know what the other ladies are saying may seem difficult but i completely agree. Creating life is a special moment that you cannot redo. Give you and your little one your best chance and go home to your family. From experience I had my first child @ 19. I thought i would never reconcile the difference between my mother and I because she cut me off. However i know for sure your families love is more forgiving than you know.  Go home. He is young and men at that age usually go through alot before they become good father's. Do what is best for the baby. Good luck and u will be in my prayers

[Beanbaby2015]

Its very hard to hear your having a tough time with your pregnancy. Please know of all things, you are not alone. I have been using this app since the beggining of my pregnancy  (i am currently 28 weeks) and its been very helpful to know people are going through the same things as myself. As far as the father goes, right now you need to remember this is an important time for you and baby. You need to focus on whats best for you, and the little one, no matter what. Any man can be a dad, it takes a real man to be a father. I would say drop him from your life, and focus on you. I realize how hard that is...and that its usually easier said than done, but just know that if you try and build this babies life around someone who isnt a constant in yours, you may be setting yourself up for heartache. Good luck.

[erinmommyof2]

I know the feeling. I was single with my first pregnancy and I felt like the dad just did whatever he wanted while my entire life was flipped upside down. Your best bet is to cut him off completely and focus on you and you're child. You will find so much satisfaction and love from your child, it may not come right away but it'll be worth it I promise. Hang in there.

[Saphfire]

Cut him out of your life and go to you family. Let him know when the baby comes and that if he wants any part in this kids life he has to straighten up